Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

[Allthewayinbatterycity]

I was in the waiting room at a busy station and a lad who looked to be in his early 20s was standing at the door with his hands down the front of his trousers. I looked to make sure it wasn't pockets but it definitely wasn't.

I am just a bit fed up of what I've seen recently from predominantly men on public transport. Loud sniffing/snorting every 2 seconds, farting, burping, spitting. Most are not like this but it's hard to take the train these days without any of the above.

Anyway I said to the man quietly, why do you have your hands down your trousers in a public area, that's disgusting.
With hindsight I should've just reported him to the train staff. He started shouting at me and I just walked off. But as I say I maybe should've just reported it.

as if women dont lose half there clothes at the first hint of sunshine.
I really dont care what others wear or do its not something i would and i have my opinion like everyone else.
I dont mind seeing topless men in the summer im human.
And if women want to be half naked let them show it off more guts than me good for them.

it's bloody disgusting, god knows what surfaces they're touching afterwards, yuck, which we then have to touch. why should we have to see them fiddling with themselves.

Then what exactly is your point? Just felt the need to compare what women wear with men who touch themselves in public?

Calm down i typed an opinion let it go have good day.

Why are so many women choosing to be single??

Why is the birth rate declining??

What a mystery that noone wants these men to father their kids!

The British transport police actually have had a huge campaign in recent years about the fact they exist and are available to call. You can text them and they’ll be on the next platform. They run adverts on the trains, Spotify, the television. For the safety of the public and staff and staff will be well aware of its ability to be used.

Since the 7/7 attacks and the fact that public transport is a breeding ground for sexual harassment, train staff are well aware that their job goes beyond tickets and ‘watery teas’.

True!

Back then if a man had a hand down his trousers it would be considered lewd or indecent behaviour and women wouldn’t be ‘karened’ for finding it obnoxious/intimidating or whatever.

Judging by some of the responses here it’s as if we’ve been conditioned to accept bad behaviour as normal!

I didn't say it was illegal.
I said it's disgusting.

So men who ride who go penis-handed while in public are not doing anything sexual😂😂😂

Ditto the men who keep an imaginary gun nestled in their penis!

Have to say the lengths some people are going to - to defend those poor innocent penis-havers/holders are quite breathtaking.

I wouldn't particularly mind.

On the subject of football fans, I accept that they can feel intimidating but would like to give a shout out to the Ipswich fans who I was squashed into a train with last September. They were jolly but not noticeably sweary or drunk and behaved like perfect gentlemen. They even found me a seat eventually. The train was so crowded some of them were standing in the toilet but came out if anyone knocked on the door.

Indeed they have, but I'm not sure why, if you suspect a criminal offence is taking place and you are the primary witness, why you'd expect oblivious rail staff to deal with it when they likely didn't witness anything rather than reporting it to BTP yourself.

So women’s hands must not get cold as we don’t walk around with our hands in our flaps? We just use pockets or gloves. I had no idea men were so sensitive to the cold. You would think that knowing the poor delicate growers would struggle then they would wear a coat and gloves wouldn’t you? Instead of holding onto their genitals like it’s a furnace that can prevent from from frost bite.

absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Hideous grey mottled joggers with their saggy arses. In Scotland I believe they're known as "jobbie catchers"..

I suspect it’s more than “technically “ illegal to be masturbating in public. I suspect it’s actually illegal.

But OP didn't say he was doing that. I agree if he was masthrbating but at no point in the thread has OP said anything more than "hand down"

Totally understand why you commented, I've done the same in the past (to similar) but, I do regret it a little after, as I have put myself at risk of assault by speaking up. Its shit but its something to consider before doing so again.

I need to just mentally think "arse" but not actually say anything If I'm on my own, I'm working on that.

It sure where you lived 40 years ago but that would not have happened where I lived. In fact. I've been flashed 35 years old at a bus stop with LOADS of people around of all ages and sexes, and no one did anything! Ime the normal response in the U.K. to this type of thing has been to ignore it for decades.

Oh I totally agree! I would definitely want to say something but not worth the risk! I think if someone was being harmed literally I would totally think differently!

.

That's exactly the same situation..... well not really, in fact nothing like it. 😱

But presumably it would have been quite clear if he was.. wouldn’t it? I’ve never known a man be able to have a weak inside his trousers discretely. Perhaps his hands were cold? I’m not saying it’s ok to warm them doen his pants but it’s quite a different charge, isn’t it?

I agree.

In fact I've just remembered an incident where a man urinated in a bus shelter where several women were waiting for a bus. Lewisham mid 80s. Urinating in the street was not uncommon and far worse than hands down trousers.

What demographic was the culprit from? I ask because I have noticed this on various occasions, completely nonchalant behaviour, and always from men from one apparent background

@Namechangey23 Thing is we are told not to shame our kids about their bodies, but how do you teach them it's rude to play with yourself in public without a little bit of shame/embarrassment? It probably needs to be taught at school to be honest, perhaps it is and we just haven't got to that stage yet with our kids...

You have lots of general conversations about the parts of the body that are private, about consent, and personal space, and who should and shouldn't be seeing/touching different parts of each others bodies in different contexts. And when they start playing with themselves in public you remind them very neutrally, "Your penis/vulva is a private part of your body. Playing with it can feel different to playing with other parts of your body. You can play with your private body parts in private."
DS5 now asks me to leave the bathroom when he's in the bath and wants to play with his penis, which I suppose is the desired result, but I still have to push my internal cringing aside!

And to the handful of posters making thinly veiled racist references to "particular minorities", "certain demographics" etc, why don't you just come out and say it 🙄