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AIBU?

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Original poster

Possible final straw with DH

292 replies

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 16:14

I have name changed for this because I'm so embarrassed.

My DH went out with the lads last night, i don't know what time he got in as I was already asleep. This morning my alarm went off for work and I noticed the room smelt absolutely foul. I couldn't work out where it was coming from at first and thought the dog had messed in the house. I pulled the covers back and to my absolute horror, DH had fallen asleep next to me with no pants on and the bed was filled with what I can only describe as fecal confetti. I was absolutely repulsed and really really upset that he had got himself into such a state that this could happen.
As if things couldn't get any worse, the bathroom looked like it had been pebble-dashed - up the walls, over the edge of the bath, on the towels. I'm disgusted by him.
I didnt clean it up and he was still comatose when i left for work. He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.
I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him,
WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight?

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 05/02/2025 16:16

I would reply to his text and ask if he has cleaned the bathroom and changed the bedding.

Msmoonpie · 05/02/2025 16:17

Fuck me that would be it for me.

Personally because I don’t have children because I don’t want to clean up after them. No fucking way would I be dealing with a man who shits all over the house.

Timeforabiscuit · 05/02/2025 16:19

I would make it clear that you expect everything to be spotless or replaced out of his pocket, including the mattress.

You do need to communicate how this has affected you, it sounds like he just wants to brush it away.

Chimummy73 · 05/02/2025 16:19

I’d be staying at a friend’s forever 🤢 I can’t even cope with pee on the loo seat / floor!

StrawberryWater · 05/02/2025 16:19

Ask if he's cleaned up and washed everything (that's washed, not just put it in the basket for you to do). Tell him if the answer is no then you won't be coming home tonight.

MadmansLibrary · 05/02/2025 16:19

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to come back from that. Illness, yes, but self-inflicted? Drinking so much he shits himself? Nope.

Has he got form for this sort of behaviour?

Slowgrowingelm · 05/02/2025 16:19

Not acceptable and not something I could live with.

SpringBunnyHopHop · 05/02/2025 16:20

Explosive shits and no acknowledgment makes me wonder if he’s taking something.

StrawberryWater · 05/02/2025 16:20

Also, if you decide to stay, tell him if he's ever going to get that drunk again he has to stay elsewhere like a hotel.

SpringBunnyHopHop · 05/02/2025 16:22

MadmansLibrary · 05/02/2025 16:19

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to come back from that. Illness, yes, but self-inflicted? Drinking so much he shits himself? Nope.

Has he got form for this sort of behaviour?

Sounds likely if this is the final straw.

FoxtonFoxton · 05/02/2025 16:22

That's absolutely horrendous. To not mention it is really weird -he can't have thought you wouldn't notice? If that house wasn't absolutely spotless when I got home I'd be walking straight back out and going to a friend or hotel. I'd not be hiding how disgusted I was either. I'd have to text back asking him if he was going to mention the fact he'd shit all over the place?

SlipDigby · 05/02/2025 16:25

Surely that can't all be from booze alone. There must be something else going on.

Lyra87 · 05/02/2025 16:25

That is just foul, that's another level of drunkeness if he could leave the bed and bathroom in that state. The fact he hadn't apologised to you yet is astounding.

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 16:28

Fucking hell. What is it with these men pissing around the bedroom and shitting the bed/not wiping their arses after a night boozing?! A thread like this pops up semi regularly and it is shocking!

OP, your husband is an absolute pig. That's beyond disgusting. The fact he hasn't even apologised! Nope. I'd be telling the dirty twat to get out.

Daleksatemyshed · 05/02/2025 16:28

Have you asked him if he's cleaned up yet Op? He must be in a state today if he really thinks you didn't notice

CaptainAwkward · 05/02/2025 16:29

Horrible

An ex of mine had a medication reaction and shat the bed once (I wasn’t there and he thought it was a fart)

He was completely sober and did the reasonable thing of immediately stripping the bed, bleaching the sheets, cleaning the mattress and then cracking on with his normal cleaning. He was mortified and relieved that it happened when he was alone

Accidents happen but this is different when someone gets purposefully so drunk that they make their bed and home resemble a fucking 1978 Maze prison dirty protest

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 05/02/2025 16:30

My exh used to wee in my wardrobe...
Often.
Twat.
Text him if the house is sanitary or you are staying in a hotel at his expense..

CaptainAwkward · 05/02/2025 16:30

SpringBunnyHopHop · 05/02/2025 16:20

Explosive shits and no acknowledgment makes me wonder if he’s taking something.

Yeah, coke diarrhoea was my thinking too 🤢

JudgeBread · 05/02/2025 16:31

Please be the poo troll, please be the poo troll, please be the poo troll...

CaptainAwkward · 05/02/2025 16:33

Funny how it never seems to be blokes reporting how their female partners regularly get hammered then piss and shit all over the family home

TheAzureSwan · 05/02/2025 16:33

I can't believe the number of posters who apparently seem to think so long as he cleans up then OP should just go home and forget about what happened.
That would be the end of the marriage for me. I say this as someone who put up with a lot of horrible behaviour from my alcoholic first H .

godmum56 · 05/02/2025 16:38

"Final straw" what else had he done?

Msmoonpie · 05/02/2025 16:43

Honestly even most animals don’t shit in their bed. Vile.

Saggyknickers · 05/02/2025 16:43

I'm getting flashbacks of Spud in Trainspotting,

Does he take drugs OP?

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 05/02/2025 16:45

CaptainAwkward · 05/02/2025 16:33

Funny how it never seems to be blokes reporting how their female partners regularly get hammered then piss and shit all over the family home

You say this... but I did have a female housemate you regularly got so drunk she wet the bed.... but this was 20 years ago and she was a student at the time.

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