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AIBU?

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Original poster

Possible final straw with DH

292 replies

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 16:14

I have name changed for this because I'm so embarrassed.

My DH went out with the lads last night, i don't know what time he got in as I was already asleep. This morning my alarm went off for work and I noticed the room smelt absolutely foul. I couldn't work out where it was coming from at first and thought the dog had messed in the house. I pulled the covers back and to my absolute horror, DH had fallen asleep next to me with no pants on and the bed was filled with what I can only describe as fecal confetti. I was absolutely repulsed and really really upset that he had got himself into such a state that this could happen.
As if things couldn't get any worse, the bathroom looked like it had been pebble-dashed - up the walls, over the edge of the bath, on the towels. I'm disgusted by him.
I didnt clean it up and he was still comatose when i left for work. He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.
I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him,
WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight?

OP posts:
Greenfingers37 · 05/02/2025 18:15

And it's another LTB from me! No brainer.

Crazybaby123 · 05/02/2025 18:15

If he has never done this before could it be a dodgy kebab or something? I have never know anyone to do this just from alcohol alone even drinking a huge amount.

StormingNorman · 05/02/2025 18:16

Createausername1970 · 05/02/2025 16:16

I would reply to his text and ask if he has cleaned the bathroom and changed the bedding.

I was going to say the exact same thing.

RisingSunn · 05/02/2025 18:16

He belongs in a pig-pen.

You need to get rid ASAP - just reading about him makes me feel 🤢

yourmaw · 05/02/2025 18:17

stomach bug info-too little to late.
no apology? does the catlyst of his shitopia matter.
Dont go back.
As for "just a bit fun". for him maybe- hes gross.

Daleksatemyshed · 05/02/2025 18:17

How many excuses will you make for him Op? Hopefully no more. The shitting the bed is bad enough but the old lady fetish is too much. There must be better men where you live surely

thepariscrimefiles · 05/02/2025 18:17

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 18:00

thank you for the replies.
I still havent gone home but DH has text me saying that he has a 'stomach bug' (yeah right). He claims it must be the curry he had with the lads last night.
He does have form for getting very drunk with the lads.

I say it's the final straw as just before christmas I found some messages he had been sending to a woman on an escort site. He says that nothing actually happened and they were just chatting and i think I believe him but the part that really grossed me out is that she was older than his mum. He said it was just a bit of fun but it made me wonder if he has some kind of old lady fetish. I could understand more if it was a pretty young model type, although i still wasnt ok with it, but why a woman in her 80s. This has brought all of that back up as i'd managed to brush it under the carpet. I'ms o confused.

Did he say whether he had cleaned it all up?

Honestly, you would feel so much better without a husband who contacts geriatric escorts in their 80s and shits the bed. He is disgusting in every possible way.

Crazybaby123 · 05/02/2025 18:18

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 18:00

thank you for the replies.
I still havent gone home but DH has text me saying that he has a 'stomach bug' (yeah right). He claims it must be the curry he had with the lads last night.
He does have form for getting very drunk with the lads.

I say it's the final straw as just before christmas I found some messages he had been sending to a woman on an escort site. He says that nothing actually happened and they were just chatting and i think I believe him but the part that really grossed me out is that she was older than his mum. He said it was just a bit of fun but it made me wonder if he has some kind of old lady fetish. I could understand more if it was a pretty young model type, although i still wasnt ok with it, but why a woman in her 80s. This has brought all of that back up as i'd managed to brush it under the carpet. I'ms o confused.

Ok well no, if I found messages to an escort site that would be it. The shitting the bed i could forgive if he was really genuinly sick with a terrible bug, but I would not be cleaning it up. Also I have not known anyone to have a stomach bug that bad they shit the bedz dont realise it and make a mess in th3 bathroom.

BrendaSmall · 05/02/2025 18:19

He sounds absolutely delightful!

NOT……

Has he got any good points??

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 18:21

Crazybaby123 · 05/02/2025 18:18

Ok well no, if I found messages to an escort site that would be it. The shitting the bed i could forgive if he was really genuinly sick with a terrible bug, but I would not be cleaning it up. Also I have not known anyone to have a stomach bug that bad they shit the bedz dont realise it and make a mess in th3 bathroom.

Show quote history

Anyone could forgive if it was due to a terrible sickness bug. This is due to a terrible drugs and/or drunkenness bug, which most people have a bit less sympathy with.

Wingedharpy · 05/02/2025 18:22

Are there many 80 year old women on escorts sites?

unsync · 05/02/2025 18:23

I've read some revolting stuff on here, but this one is beyond grim. How could you stay with someone who does this? What adult person drinks to the point that this is the result?

Threewheeler1 · 05/02/2025 18:23

BrendaSmall · 05/02/2025 18:19

He sounds absolutely delightful!

NOT……

Has he got any good points??

I think we just heard the good points...

sprigatito · 05/02/2025 18:23

It's bad enough dealing with this kind of situation in a dearly loved elderly relative who can't help it. To be put in that position by a healthy adult partner? Fuck, no. He wouldn't get the chance to do it twice.

ItGhoul · 05/02/2025 18:24

Wait, what?!

OP, this is a man who has a fetish for very elderly women and shits your bed. Kick this one to the kerb, ffs.

ItGhoul · 05/02/2025 18:26

Wingedharpy · 05/02/2025 18:22

Are there many 80 year old women on escorts sites?

There are sex workers to cater every possible taste and fetish, so yes, there will be plenty.

Original poster
BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 18:26

Wingedharpy · 05/02/2025 18:22

Are there many 80 year old women on escorts sites?

I think you'd be surprised. I went down a rabbit hole looking at the site after I discovred it and you can filter by age range. There were way more on there than I would have thought.

I'm still at work, trying to think what to do tonight.

OP posts:
WimbyAce · 05/02/2025 18:26

Nope I would never tolerate this level of drunken state, grim.

Mrsbloggz · 05/02/2025 18:27

Cocaine has a strong laxative effect for many people.

Toooldtopretend · 05/02/2025 18:28

Crazybaby123 · 05/02/2025 18:15

If he has never done this before could it be a dodgy kebab or something? I have never know anyone to do this just from alcohol alone even drinking a huge amount.

But you wouldn’t sleep through it unless you were paralytic so definitely the alcohol!

It’s vile-leave him to it OP and enjoy a clean and stress free home, you’d be well rid.

Zippidydoodah · 05/02/2025 18:29

I’ve read your posts @BestMumAva , and you don’t say if he’s cleaned it up or not. (Though I know you aren’t home yet.)

I couldn’t forgive this either. Do you have kids?

Original poster
BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 18:30

I don't know if he's cleaned it up.

Yes we have a 3 year old who is staying with grandparents this week anyway.

OP posts:
Nodddy · 05/02/2025 18:30

Trying to work out how interactions with an escort wasn't the last straw... 🧐

OvertiredandConfused · 05/02/2025 18:31

Whatever you decide about your marriage (this would be a dealbreaker for me), don't go home tonight if you have an alternative. It gives you time to think (or plan) and sends a message to your 'D'H

morbidd · 05/02/2025 18:32

SpringBunnyHopHop · 05/02/2025 16:20

Explosive shits and no acknowledgment makes me wonder if he’s taking something.

Does sound like that scene in trainspotting.

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