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AIBU?

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Original poster

Possible final straw with DH

292 replies

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 16:14

I have name changed for this because I'm so embarrassed.

My DH went out with the lads last night, i don't know what time he got in as I was already asleep. This morning my alarm went off for work and I noticed the room smelt absolutely foul. I couldn't work out where it was coming from at first and thought the dog had messed in the house. I pulled the covers back and to my absolute horror, DH had fallen asleep next to me with no pants on and the bed was filled with what I can only describe as fecal confetti. I was absolutely repulsed and really really upset that he had got himself into such a state that this could happen.
As if things couldn't get any worse, the bathroom looked like it had been pebble-dashed - up the walls, over the edge of the bath, on the towels. I'm disgusted by him.
I didnt clean it up and he was still comatose when i left for work. He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.
I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him,
WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight?

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 05/02/2025 16:47

Yep, that'll do it, I wouldn't be going back for the rest of the week, this is beyond contempt, beyond.

Endofyear · 05/02/2025 16:50

Oh God that is revolting 🤢 I would definitely stay at a friend's tonight and be waiting for a grovelling apology and to know that he has cleaned up everywhere! Is he a heavy drinker generally?

RossGellersCat · 05/02/2025 16:50

All a bit grim. I'd have given him some points if he'd messaged you saying something about how sorry he was, how embarrassed and recognised that it was completely unacceptable. His lack of ownership would give me almost as much ick as the literal shit fest.
My DH got so drunk once that I was genuinely worried about him (not really conscious, couldn't understand basic sentences, vomited loads). I read him the absolute riot act the next day and he's never repeated it since.

DaringLion · 05/02/2025 16:51

CaptainAwkward · 05/02/2025 16:30

Yeah, coke diarrhoea was my thinking too 🤢

Show quote history

I was thinking that

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 16:57

I couldn’t go back to him, he would disgust me too much forever more. It’s one thing having a mortifying accident because you are genuinely ill (I can forgive) but that is beyond disgusting.

LostittoBostik · 05/02/2025 17:00

Do you have kids? Did you see any of this?

When you say "last straw", what is the backdrop to this?

yourmaw · 05/02/2025 17:01

yup-Im with @BunnyLake . zero acknowledgement //horrified at self. renders it unforgiveable.

TheLargestToblerone · 05/02/2025 17:06

I suppose you begin discussing it with him by making it clear that anything shitted on is cleaned properly by him or replaced by him before you will go home. If he even remotely thinks leaving any of it, or chucking bedding in a laundry basket for you to do is acceptable, then I don't think there's much to discuss. That level of disrespect is hard to get past, on top of the disrespect of getting so drunk he'd do this in the first place.

Are the other straws, of which this should be the final one, this massive?

momtoboys · 05/02/2025 17:06

Didn't someone post this exact thing a few months ago? This must be a thing. :)

CantHoldMeDown · 05/02/2025 17:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Glorybox2025 · 05/02/2025 17:08

I assume from your username that you have kids? Where were they?

RitaFromTheRanch · 05/02/2025 17:09

Good grief that's grim

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 17:10

He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.

He knows exactly what happened and he knows that you know too. He texted you because he is now panicking, wondering why you haven't said anything about it yet. He's trying to test the water to see how much of a mood you are in over it.

I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him

So don't. Teach him a lesson. Just go awol for a while and calm yourself down. If he texts you to ask where you are just say you need some space and you are not ready to talk about it. He'll know why.

WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight? No.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 17:12

How could you ever find that man sexually attractive ever again?

Nodddy · 05/02/2025 17:12

What a charmer. If you do let him go, please let me know as there's going to be a long queue. 🤢

Threewheeler1 · 05/02/2025 17:14

Nope.
That'd be 'The End' for me.
Bag him and bin him.
Foul.

RoomtownBat · 05/02/2025 17:14

StrawberryWater · 05/02/2025 16:20

Also, if you decide to stay, tell him if he's ever going to get that drunk again he has to stay elsewhere like a hotel.

I work in a hotel - we don’t want him here either!!

You’d be shocked how often this sort of thing happens…. Almost always men, and very rarely a result of illness, 99% of the time it’s too much drink…😠

RoomtownBat · 05/02/2025 17:18

CaptainAwkward · 05/02/2025 16:30

Yeah, coke diarrhoea was my thinking too 🤢

Show quote history

Is this a thing? 😱 God, I must have led a quiet life! So all the famous coke-head rock stars and film stars are dirty bed-poopers?
Bloody hell…

Huckyfell · 05/02/2025 17:18

I think if this was a one off, completely out of character and not ever happened before then you need to go home and read him the riot act, he should be feeling like a worm.
If it isn't the first time then it is a whole different story. He needs to come begging and be promising some real life changes. or...

Hankunamatata · 05/02/2025 17:19

Op a bit of warning. Omg that's gross

Nationsss · 05/02/2025 17:19

So beyond grim.
Be glad you don't have children.

I wouldn't ever sleep in that bed again and I certainly wouldn't ever want someone so foul touching me again.

If you have an ounce of sense you are done.

Pity you didn't take a picture and send it to his family/friends....it would explain the marriage ending without further a do.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 05/02/2025 17:20

If the giant shit fest didnt tip me over the edge. This would 💯

He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.

Argghhhhhh
Only a man would send a message this ridiculous.
Short of a total revelation and home-time miracle (I cant even imagine what that would look like / need to be... probably impossible) i dont think i could continue the relationship

Ilikeadrink14 · 05/02/2025 17:22

Msmoonpie · 05/02/2025 16:17

Fuck me that would be it for me.

Personally because I don’t have children because I don’t want to clean up after them. No fucking way would I be dealing with a man who shits all over the house.

You don’t want children because ‘you don’t want to clean up after them’?? What are you like??

RudbekiasAreSun · 05/02/2025 17:22

Men who go out and drink with mates are a turn off anyway - never bother with such, ladies

caffelattetogo · 05/02/2025 17:22

That's awful. You poor thing, You deserve so much better.