Possible final straw with DH

[BestMumAva]

I have name changed for this because I'm so embarrassed.

My DH went out with the lads last night, i don't know what time he got in as I was already asleep. This morning my alarm went off for work and I noticed the room smelt absolutely foul. I couldn't work out where it was coming from at first and thought the dog had messed in the house. I pulled the covers back and to my absolute horror, DH had fallen asleep next to me with no pants on and the bed was filled with what I can only describe as fecal confetti. I was absolutely repulsed and really really upset that he had got himself into such a state that this could happen.
As if things couldn't get any worse, the bathroom looked like it had been pebble-dashed - up the walls, over the edge of the bath, on the towels. I'm disgusted by him.
I didnt clean it up and he was still comatose when i left for work. He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.
I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him,
WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight?

If he just wants to chat to women in their 80s he could go on a coach trip.

@Shetlands I know this is a serious thread but this made me snicker out loud in the library. Oops 😬

Sounds familiar. I spent 3 years thinking my dh had had an 'emotional' affair, until he was gobbing off to his friends about the woman he shagged 3 years ago. Trouble was he mentioned in front of a male friend of mine who then told me.

It took me 3 years to leave him but I'm so much happier now. Stay strong op, your DH sounds like a vile human being and you're well rid.

Oh OP. You’re well shot of this one. He has no respect for you, or indeed his mother making her come round and clean up his confetti cannon shit!!!! Let alone anything else.

You deserve better.

xx

I would be forwarding those messages on to his mother, together with confirmation that her drunken scum of a son destroyed his bed and home after drink and had his own mother clean it up.

God only knows what sort of background he is from.
Talk about the utter dregs of society.
How some people live.

Secrecy is your enemy.
Tell your family the truth.
I couldn't return to that bedroom.

I hope you realise this really isn't normal OP.

Mumsnet is so naive sometimes. Of course there are elderly sex workers. There are sex workers catering to every possible interest and fetish, including gerontophilia.

He clearly want in control of himself and that is an issue. But to leave someone after a on diff is so over dramatic. You're absolutely right to be fuming and disgusted at this. But unless this is a regular thing. Just be annoyed and disgusted (rightly so) but leaving???

RTFT then come back with a bit more considered advice.
You absolutely must divorce this hideous sitting cheating man baby.

Shitting not sitting.🙄

If you click on see all at the bottom of OP post you will see it’s not about it just being g an off night. RTFT, HTH

Clearly an easy mistake to make

My God ! You should definitely tell his Mum about what he did with the old lady sex worker.

You are not an idiot OP please don't think that, you are taking back control and leaving this disgraceful, lying man.

Your DHs mates wife must have felt terrible but kudos to her for telling you the truth in the end.

You'll be fine, many of us have been in similar positions and have come out the other side happier and thriving.

Oh god op it just gets worse. 🤢

Get legal advice on splitting while you're at your parents. Take some time while you're there to think about if you'd stay local to him and his mum long term or move back to near your parents.

He's absolutely vile. Don't keep his vileness secret either. Tell people so there's no going back and people know.

Honestly he sounds utterly repulsive and I would absolutely not in a million years stay with him. Leave him to shit himself with his elderly prostitute.

Op are you OK? Xx

I’ve been thinking of her too

Yes, I can't help thinking about her as well. I hope her parents are supporting her through this and she finds space to gather her best self together and stand tall.