Friends DC & OnlyFans

[Clorrien]

I’m feeling really conflicted and unsure what to do.
A few days ago DD (20) and I had a conversation about the likes of BonnieBlue and Lily Phillips. Mostly talking about how exploitative the porn industry is.
Anyway during the conversation she told me, someone we know has a “popular” onlyfans account. She then went on to tell me it is the daughter of one of my closest friends. The girl in question is 22. DD says she only knows as there is a link in one of her social media bios and a few of them who know her have spoken about it. I’m shocked tbh, this girl is beautiful, extremely intelligent (she got a full ride scholarship for a top US uni), and always seemed very well adjusted. Her family are very normal as well, parents very loving, not bad off financially so she has never wanted for anything. Apparently she uses a pseudonym but that seems beside the point.

Anyway, this girls mum and I talk most days and I’m finding it hard to not tell her, I doubt she knows and if it were my DD I’d want to know so I could protect her.

WIBU to tell my friend? Or is it none of my business.

I agree with you.

I have no issue with OF the world is changing.

Why did your daughter tell you something you didn't need to know?

I don't think it is.

Taboos were guardrails set up to stop people hurting themselves. Yes, these have been removed, and now we are all stood around wondering why people are so depressed and anxious all the time.

"Protect her"? 🤣🤣 She's 22 FFS. Go clutch your pearls elsewhere.

I would tell anyone that their daughter had now started prostitution in case it came with other problems (drug/psych etc)

It is absolutely none of your business OP and may not even be true as you heard it second hand. Forget about it and move on, I doubt your friend will appreciate your stirring.

I’m always surprised that when looking for places to do work experience in school, no one ever suggests ‘sex work’ or getting a prostitute to mentor you.

At 22, what does she know? Very little. Is this going to impact her ability to find a decent partner? Her children? It speaks to a lack of self respect and vulnerability. She won't be unscathed by this.

If it was my daughter I would want to know.

Very likely to do with age ☺️

YABU. It’s really none of your business, or your friend’s business either. She’s a grown adult capable of making her own decisions, and you don’t have to like them.

You're surprised underage kids aren't encouraged to do sex work for work experience?

It's not
You don't even have to have sex, be naked or show your face
(Or even do anything sexual)

It’s depressing the number of people on here that think selling their bodies online for money is a perfectly normal, acceptable thing to do. It goes hand in hand with things like body positivity where being morbidly obese is absolutely fine, where celebrating males who identify as females winning at girl’s sports is a kind thing to do or being absolutely OK with a 14 year old child having sex with her boyfriend in her bedroom because ‘they’re only going to do it somewhere else’.
Some people just fall over themselves to be so left leaning they’re positively horizontal.

So? She's a 22 year old woman she has her own life she can make her own decisions, Who cares

She's making 10,000 a month, doing what, crochet? Why is this a secret and nobody else's business then? We all know what she's doing

She’s an adult so it’s really nothing to do with you.

I also think only fans is seedy and that we are trying to sanitise what is happening - these women are sex workers and many are prostitutes.

I do recognise some of them are making huge sums of money the like of which most of us never will even after degrees, training etc.

I can see why they do it - but to me it is seedy and I wouldn’t do it even for the money that can be made. I also think it demeans women so is harmful to women as a group - but I still respect the individuals right to do as they wish with their body. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

The impact of her behaviour extends far beyond herself.

I feel like things are swinging more the other way and in a few years this will be seen as even less acceptable. Some of the comments I see young men and women post to and about Only Fans models online show so little respect to them and this appears to be the popular view now. I’d be worried if my child had put something like this online, it will be around forever.

I haven't actually looked on OF so not 100% sure on this but isn't it all online? Pics & videos? How is she therefore having sex with them? This sounds more like Adultwork, no? Which is selling sex.
Either way, probably best to stay out of it.

Can ask - if it was your DD - and she was the same age what you’d do once you knew ?

It really is none of your business at all. She’s an adult - not a child .

I'd have to tell my closest friend this.
But I also wouldn't be certain it was definitely true, having heard information before from my DD about online stuff where she's misconstrued/ been misinformed. So if there's a photo/any sort of identifying info on the TT or OF I'd show it to my friend saying I was worried her DD's image was being used by a catfisher. Something along those lines anyway. Second or third hand information should be taken with a pinch of salt.

If the young woman is doing it then I'd find that desperately sad. I don't care if that makes any want want to call me a pearl clutcher - it would make me sad if my DD sold her body for money, so I'd be a hypocrite, IMO, if I was happy for other young women to do it. And if she is doing it, she hasn't even been cautious enough to ensure no-one knows, which could have wide-ranging effects on her and her wider family for a long time to come.

By changing, presumably you mean regressing even further in terms of equality?

Seeing OF as something normal or positive is just pure gaslighting of society that paying for sexual gratification is just fine and dandy. This can only lead to the further entrenchment of the view that women are there to be bought and sold for the enjoyment of men. Personally, I'm not cool with that, for me, my daughters, or anyone else.

One that’s on Instagram and TikTok all the time is “Only Fans detected, opinion rejected”. Basically saying you’re on Only Fans therefore nobody cares about your opinion on anything. These girls are not getting the respect of their peers.