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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends DC & OnlyFans

229 replies

Clorrien · 22/01/2025 10:57

I’m feeling really conflicted and unsure what to do.
A few days ago DD (20) and I had a conversation about the likes of BonnieBlue and Lily Phillips. Mostly talking about how exploitative the porn industry is.
Anyway during the conversation she told me, someone we know has a “popular” onlyfans account. She then went on to tell me it is the daughter of one of my closest friends. The girl in question is 22. DD says she only knows as there is a link in one of her social media bios and a few of them who know her have spoken about it. I’m shocked tbh, this girl is beautiful, extremely intelligent (she got a full ride scholarship for a top US uni), and always seemed very well adjusted. Her family are very normal as well, parents very loving, not bad off financially so she has never wanted for anything. Apparently she uses a pseudonym but that seems beside the point.

Anyway, this girls mum and I talk most days and I’m finding it hard to not tell her, I doubt she knows and if it were my DD I’d want to know so I could protect her.

WIBU to tell my friend? Or is it none of my business.

OP posts:
CityGrownWillow · 26/01/2025 10:05

As others have said, this has got nothing to do with you! If your friends DD was underage then fine. But, she's 22 years old and is in charge of what she does and her own body.
The fact that she's intelligent, pretty and well adjusted has f*ck all to do with it, you don't have to be a messed up thicko to have an OnlyFans account. Sounds like she's doing well on there and more power to her!

Perhaps you should tell your friend so that she knows your true colours 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sugarcoldturkey · 26/01/2025 10:06

In your shoes I would tell my friend, op. Then it's up to her what to do with the info.

Sugarcoldturkey · 26/01/2025 10:09

CityGrownWillow · 26/01/2025 10:05

As others have said, this has got nothing to do with you! If your friends DD was underage then fine. But, she's 22 years old and is in charge of what she does and her own body.
The fact that she's intelligent, pretty and well adjusted has f*ck all to do with it, you don't have to be a messed up thicko to have an OnlyFans account. Sounds like she's doing well on there and more power to her!

Perhaps you should tell your friend so that she knows your true colours 🤷🏻‍♀️

She's having sex for money (as stated by op,) which means she's a prostitute. There is reams of evidence that women in prostitution later struggle with MH issues, distrust of men, PTSD etc. If someone is engaging in high-risk behaviour, then yes I think it's kind to let their loved ones know.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 26/01/2025 10:11

Sex work isn't only women's work and we need to stop acting like it is

Pherian · 26/01/2025 12:34

The woman is 22 - what she does in her private life is frankly none of your or her mother’s business.

You will accomplish nothing by being a nosey gossip - except ruin your daughter’s friendship and probably yours with the mother.

Swiftie1878 · 26/01/2025 13:04

Clorrien · 22/01/2025 12:11

I decided to message friend and let her know, like others said , if it was my DD I would want to know.

Friend has replied with “thank you but I already know”.

Oh wow. Sounds like you don’t know this family as well as you thought you did.
Maybe she didn’t get that scholarship after all, and this is how she’s paying for college in the U.S. ?

Millie1234567 · 26/01/2025 19:17

I'm sorry she's 22. Get a grip. Only fans isn't just porn. Educate yourself firsthand. It's likely the mother already noes. And if she doesn't what gives you the right to create a storm in their relationship.

WendyA22 · 26/01/2025 19:20

Mrsttcno1 · 22/01/2025 11:35

Exactly this.

As I say I have friends who have done/do it, and when you’re sitting catching up and hearing about how just that morning she’s made £1500 for a 30 second video of her feet and £500 for extra photos of her feet you start to wonder if you’re in the wrong job!😂

I'd do it if I wasn't 62 with horrible feet!

Mamabeans02 · 26/01/2025 19:23

If the reason to tell the parents for you to keep their DD safe, well I can tell you she is SAFE if it's her own personal account! She has control of what is posted on her account!
You are very small minded to think Only fans models are for the dumb & stupid!
Actually most of the models cover their lady parts!
So DD is very intelligent, she is raking it in while being a Uni student, she has more time to study than another student who is working 6 hours at night after a semester.
The DD is financially comfortable amd being independent while doing it SAFE on HER own terms instead of using some stanky company who just sees her a dirty porn cash cow who would expect more and apply pressure ! Like making porn movies etc .... Not your business, don't rock the boat plus the parents might even know but decided not to announce it to others!

JollyZebra · 26/01/2025 19:31

Not your business. She's an adult.

Sassybooklover · 26/01/2025 20:26

It's entirely possible if her parents don't use TIk Tok, they've no idea she's posting on this platform under a fake name, or there's a link to her OF account. Onlyfans is a little different, in that she's in full control of the content she's posting, and it's all on her terms. However, as a parent I don't think OF is something we'd want our children participating in, if we had a choice. This young woman is 22, she's a grown adult, even if you told her Mum, what exactly would you expect her to do?! Yes, she could talk to her daughter but ultimately she can't stop her from continuing with OF. There's actually very little she can do.

fingerbobz · 26/01/2025 21:57

Tell her

If that were my daughter and my close friend knew but I didn't, i would feel humiliated

Also, if my 22 daughter was a full time student and earning £10k a month, i would want to know that too. That's one heck of a lot of money

Do they need financial and tax advice?

WendyA22 · 27/01/2025 01:51

Mamabeans02 · 26/01/2025 19:23

If the reason to tell the parents for you to keep their DD safe, well I can tell you she is SAFE if it's her own personal account! She has control of what is posted on her account!
You are very small minded to think Only fans models are for the dumb & stupid!
Actually most of the models cover their lady parts!
So DD is very intelligent, she is raking it in while being a Uni student, she has more time to study than another student who is working 6 hours at night after a semester.
The DD is financially comfortable amd being independent while doing it SAFE on HER own terms instead of using some stanky company who just sees her a dirty porn cash cow who would expect more and apply pressure ! Like making porn movies etc .... Not your business, don't rock the boat plus the parents might even know but decided not to announce it to others!

Too late - she's already told the mother. Who already knew.

MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:13

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 22/01/2025 11:02

  1. You're very judgemental tbh, there's something uncomfortable about the way you talk about her being intelligent like you expect OF people to be thick
  2. It's linked on her socials it's not a secret
  3. Don't interfere.
  1. It's true. Why would you degrade yourself by getting your vagina on camera for it to be permanent if you had other options. We don't suggest food looking men get their dicks out for gay men...
MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:15

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 26/01/2025 10:11

Sex work isn't only women's work and we need to stop acting like it is

Name one famous or notorious male sex worker?

MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:17

EYP2021 · 22/01/2025 12:13

I think you did the right thing. Now you never have to mention it again and can carry on as you were ♥️

100%

And get her daughter to do the same....as it seems to be accepted on this site

MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:17

WendyA22 · 26/01/2025 19:20

I'd do it if I wasn't 62 with horrible feet!

Pedicure video! I watch them for fun

WendyA22 · 27/01/2025 05:59

MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:13

  1. It's true. Why would you degrade yourself by getting your vagina on camera for it to be permanent if you had other options. We don't suggest food looking men get their dicks out for gay men...

You can bet good looking men do the same

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 27/01/2025 09:49

MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:15

Name one famous or notorious male sex worker?

Name more than the 2 OF stars who have current being in the news because they are wanting to be...

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 27/01/2025 09:50

MyPinkBalonz · 27/01/2025 02:13

  1. It's true. Why would you degrade yourself by getting your vagina on camera for it to be permanent if you had other options. We don't suggest food looking men get their dicks out for gay men...

No one is suggesting we tell girls to do this
Men do get their dicks out for money. And not just from gay men. Chippendale/Magic Mike experiences exist

Littlemisslaughalot · 27/01/2025 12:50

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 22/01/2025 11:02

  1. You're very judgemental tbh, there's something uncomfortable about the way you talk about her being intelligent like you expect OF people to be thick
  2. It's linked on her socials it's not a secret
  3. Don't interfere.

I came here to say exactly this. People do all sorts on only fans. I'm considering putting my feet on there if it'll make a few quid 🤣

Littlemisslaughalot · 27/01/2025 12:55

Clorrien · 22/01/2025 10:57

I’m feeling really conflicted and unsure what to do.
A few days ago DD (20) and I had a conversation about the likes of BonnieBlue and Lily Phillips. Mostly talking about how exploitative the porn industry is.
Anyway during the conversation she told me, someone we know has a “popular” onlyfans account. She then went on to tell me it is the daughter of one of my closest friends. The girl in question is 22. DD says she only knows as there is a link in one of her social media bios and a few of them who know her have spoken about it. I’m shocked tbh, this girl is beautiful, extremely intelligent (she got a full ride scholarship for a top US uni), and always seemed very well adjusted. Her family are very normal as well, parents very loving, not bad off financially so she has never wanted for anything. Apparently she uses a pseudonym but that seems beside the point.

Anyway, this girls mum and I talk most days and I’m finding it hard to not tell her, I doubt she knows and if it were my DD I’d want to know so I could protect her.

WIBU to tell my friend? Or is it none of my business.

Butt out and mid your own business! She's doing absolutely nothing wrong, she's an adult.

Your opinion is exactly that, your opinion, keep it to yourself it's not important to anyone.

mummahbythesea · 27/01/2025 13:27

Happy to see the latest update that you told the mother and that she already knew.
The fact you think sex work is something negative or to be ashamed of, is mind boggling. The way you describe the friends daughter like those attributes make her ‘better’ than those who chose that career is disgusting. It’s 2025, can we stop shaming women.

Branster · 27/01/2025 20:33

How can any woman think sex work is a positive occupation is beyond me!
If nothing else, consider the wider implications. Being part of an industry which relies on coercion and slavery, horrific sex trafficking. Entry level or not, it is the same pot. It is a dirty industry in every sense of the word. Children and women are hurt and are dying because of it. Not to mention the suffering from illness.
What about the links between prostitution gangs and drug traffickers. How many millions of people are affected because of these activities.
Just stop and think for one minute.
Who would willingly want to be part of this at any level?

ThoroughlyModernNotMillie · 27/01/2025 20:51

mummahbythesea · 27/01/2025 13:27

Happy to see the latest update that you told the mother and that she already knew.
The fact you think sex work is something negative or to be ashamed of, is mind boggling. The way you describe the friends daughter like those attributes make her ‘better’ than those who chose that career is disgusting. It’s 2025, can we stop shaming women.

You seriously can't be saying that sex work is equal to any other career that an intelligent educated woman could choose to do? If you are, then you must be one of the most stupid deluded people alive.
Saying that sex work is shameful and not something to be aspired to is not "shaming women", it would be equally shameful if a man did it.
What is appalling in 2025 is that some people, especially women, think that sex work is a valid choice of career. Why do we even bother to send girls to school if you think the careers advisor would tell them that opening your legs on camera and encouraging men to masturbate over what they see is just as valid as being a teacher, doctor, barrister or retail worker.