I realised too late I don’t like parenting

[ThatCleverFawn]

I’m sure I’ll be judged to beyond but gearing up the enthusiasm to do yet another day of it is destroying me.

I’ve had a number of bad nights with the toddler, and ideally yesterday would have been one of those days you beg grandparents to have the children for a day while you and your partner sleep, do some housework and recover a bit. But we don’t have that option. Yes, you can have those quiet TV days but I think most people with little children know that’s an ideal and not a reality.

So we wrap up and go out and yes it’s a sweet little day, they are fascinated by the ice on the pond and I teach my older one a bit about animals hibernating in winter and we agree we wish we could do the same and he has an ice cream even though it’s sub zero and my toddler toddles about. It’s still hard work though: toddler won’t go in pram, won’t be carried and helpfully won’t walk in the direction we’re going, four year old needs a wee at the worst possible moments. And just. So. Tired.

But things shift and change quickly and I know all parenting moments are fleeting.

All the comments are relating to people on this thread who are obviously not in the category of people your referring to which goes without saying. I'm also as entitled to post my views on this topic as you are.

I found age one awful. Still didn't sleep through the night. The slightest whiff of a cold, up the entire night, ill all the time. Clingy.
She's 2.5 now and I still find it tough but not as tough as age one.
It's relentless. The cooking, the cleaning, trying to stay organised. The lack of freedom I find the hardest.
Parenting is hard and the internet wants you to believe it's this magical feeling of love and happiness.
I also have a teen which is actually horrific.
Does it mean I love them any less? No. It doesn't. You're aloud to say it's hard and it sucks. Because most of it does.

And worth every second

Also what bugs me most about the parenting advice is
Nap when they nap. No she can't nap, she has a four year old to look after whilst the other one is napping.
Let people help more...sometimes grandparents live far away or don't show the enthusiasm to be involved.

Like if you could be doing these things you already would be.

You are very brave to admit it, many people feel this and don't feel they can be truthful.

No I’m not 😂

Most people find parenting tedious and exhausting at times. It isn’t the same as finding the children personally tedious and exhausting.

You can't bloody nap with another young child to look after.

OP mine are the same ages and one is a terrible sleeper. It’s really hard. We are in the thick of it but it will pass.

@Thoughtsonallsorts yes we all know, you don't find parenting hard, it's a magical breeze for you. That's great, we are all pleased for you.

People can find parenting hard, everyone's circumstances are different. Sometimes very different. Kids are all different. Parents are all different.
Nobody is doubting the kids aren't worth it. The op is in need of support and told that yes it's ok to say she doesn't enjoy parenting. That doesn't mean she neglects her kids or doesn't love them. Infact she loves them so much, she is utterly drained and burnt out, by looking after them without the support she needs.
Honestly, I hate when other people jump in to invalidate others.

Of course parenting is exhausting and many of the other feelings posters have highlighted. That doesn't mean to say there are never aspects of parenting which make you realise having a child is the most beautiful & worthwhile experience you can have in life. It's the all encompassing negativity here I find hard to accept.

You don’t have to accept it.

You don’t like the thread, I’m not finding your posts helpful, so is there anything to be gained by endlessly posting the same thing over and over again? To be honest, I’ve lost sight of what you are trying to say. And I’m not sure that you know either!

If you want me to make it clearer I will.

I wish people here would stop shouting about how dreadful their life is because they have a child. It's unbelievable. Anyway you'll be pleased to know I'm done with this negative thread surrounding innocent children who didn't ask to be born. Perhaps take a leaf out of the Radfords 22 kids & counting.

I have DDs 14 & 16 and tbh I’ve only really enjoyed parenting in the last couple of years! Being a parent is hard work. It’s relentless. It’s exhausting. It’s mentally draining. I’m loving their little bit of independence. Being able to have a laugh and a joke with them. Doing nice things together and them just being more like people than children. The early years were undoubtedly the hardest … it does get easier.

We had a nice day today, swimming, lunch, home to watch some TV together. Played. Then the nearly 2 year old's nose started to run. Another cold. And he really hates the first day of a new cold and wakes every 45/60 minutes crying and sitting up. So that's my night ahead... I wouldn't mind so much if he was sleeping through the rest of the time but he doesn't... So yeah... A nice start to the week

We have small DC and my husband says “It was the best of times, it was the worse of times” about once a month 😂

We went through years of infertility and IVF to have our gorgeous children. And I find parenting extremely challenging relentless and exhausting!!

You are not BU OP xx

God my 5 year old keeps telling me she wants daddy, loves him more and makes faces at me. This morning I was met with a scowl, no “good morning” and a demand to fetch her toy (which I didn’t). She also regularly kicks off when cartoon is turned off, etc etc.

my baby is a delight but suspect she also might not be when she’s 5.

so yeah, today my view on joys of parenthood is pretty grim. I hear you!

Too cute, age 5 is amazing. They really start showing who is boss & it's usually not mum 😂

Great description ‘In the trenches’
It so is… time will pass in a blink of an eye and you will be knocking on bedroom doors to entice them out to share a movie with you. I do sympathise though , at those ages, parenting can be relentless.

Increase your patience and lower your expectations is great advice banded on the wise MN threads ❤️

Perhaps in your world £15 isn't expensive.
In mine, it's far too much.

Oh heck OP. Mine are a nightmare! 29 and 30! Can't afford to rent or buy. I'm actually plotting to run away and not tell them where I've bought. I've seen a lovely cottage in South Wales!

It's like a conspiracy.

No one will say what they really feel because it's shameful and of course you don't want the child to ever learn that. So we all go along with this faux joy over pregnancy announcements, gender reveal, baby shower and many at some point are thinking ' you have no idea'. 🤣

I didn't like being a parent until my dc got to tweens. They are amazing now as older teens and lovely teenagers (so I must have done something right). The early years, I'd say until about 8 or 9 are really hard. As soon as they started secondary school it all started getting so much easier, to the extent I even started to feel like the old me.

for someone who “values diverse of opinions and experiences” you are spending a heck of a time here trying to argue with people having different opinions /experience than you

I am very glad you found age 5 amazing, grandma. I don’t.

😬