I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

RTFT

@Ablar ......
Can you not READ????

FFS

I cannot believe how you are handling this - with so much strength and dignity.

I’m so relieved your family have sprung into action and presumably your brother and SIL are with you now.

I have butterflies thinking about the conversation you’ve got ahead of you. Wishing you well OP xxx

@Ablar read the thread. She has proof

Sending big hugs to you and strength. I'm glad you have some family support. You will get through this. Just remember this hard time will pass.... Xx

My god what an absolute piece of shit he is. I'm so sorry op.

I've just caught this thread and looking at the time OP will be in the midst of hell, I hope she copes with tonight and has taken some strength from the replies and support here.

I'm sorry @Waffletots , sorry that you've had this dumped on you now and sorry that your DH is absolutely not the man you thought he was. It's not your fault, you trusted him, so all that extra time at work when he was actually seeing the OW you never suspected a thing because you didn't think he was like that. He'll lie now, over and over, because he didn't want the OW, not full time, he just wanted a cheap thrill on the side and he'll try to hang on to your marriage.
Hold your head up Op, you have nothing to be ashamed of, don't let him try to make this your fault

Just read your latest post. I'm so sorry @Waffletots

So sorry you got the proof, but this will be your source of strength to help you move forward.

Take care of yourself and your babies, I'm glad you have support.

You will get through this.

I just put on 40 Songs of Survival at the BBC. It's probably on iPlayer.

Brilliant, strong women (mostly) singing about cheating men.
Some great lines for.when you're ready.

It's Not Right, But It's OK by Whitney:
Close the door behind you, leave your key / I'd rather be alone than unhappy

Strong Enough by Cher
And was she worth it / Was she worth it?

This! Not that it matters to the OP right now but studies have shown that it's easier for younger children than 8+ to deal with divorce. I know I took the hardest hit being oldest at 11 when my parents divorced. Because you understand more.
Most important is how the parents deal with it. If they can be cordial and not backstabbing each other it can be just fine.

But this is early days and noone can expect OP to not be filled with hate towards her husband who have betrayed her. I think it's fair to say we all hate him here for putting you and your children through this.❤️

Let’s not lose sight of the fact that the OP is having her second baby soon, so I really hope all this horrible stuff won’t take away the joy of that.
Personally, I could kill the cheating husband, but I can’t, so I can just pray for her and her child and the soon to be born little one.
I hope everything will be ok for the whole family (except the obvious one). He can rot in hell!

There is no reason on earth why anybody would go to these lengths and lie when it is someone she actually works with. Particularly as he is her manager, this could put her career in jeopardy. OP she is telling the truth, she must have felt terrible when she found out you are expecting, he clearly fed her a pack of lies and she has decided to do the right thing.

Kick him out and send him back to his parents; definitely let them know what he has done to you whilst you have been carrying their grandchild. You don't need his presence stressing you out while you're about to give birth.

I'm SO sorry for what he's done to you OP - your heartbreak is devastating to read and I'm so glad you have a good support network around you. However, the strength you've found within yourself to handle this appalling betrayal of you and your child (also like a QUEEN!) is truly inspiring. You are not a fool - he is - and a worthless one at that. You deserve (and will have) SO much better. Take care of yourself OP - sending you big hugs and all the luck in the world going forward. 🤗

Awful as it is it's for the best that op now has the proof otherwise he would gaslight her and lie and play mind games.

If there's any positive with this thread it's that in part die to mn support, the OP is doing the exact right thing. Getting family support and someone to be with her when the husband turns up, got factual confirmation of the offence, getting him to leave tonight, not planning on engaging him or the OW.

Well done and we can only wish her the best in this dreadful situation.

OP I hope the beautiful new baby will carry you through the worst time of your life. A new baby did for me although the circumstances were different.

What an absolute, total shit bag that excuse of a man is. You are dealing with this with so much dignity and strength. You deserve so much better.

Can't believe how common this behaviour is. It's absolutely shocking

I'm deleting now, hadn't read all the posts as unfortunately haven't got the time to sit and scroll through 25 pages!! No need to be vile

justdarent · Today 18:28
Agree. Shut up with this. Don't you think she feels shitty enough without being made to feel, what, guilty? about getting rid of this cheating wanker?

I think you and others are being unnecessarily harsh to oakleaffy.

She hasn’t said OP should stay with the cheater, she is clearly just lamenting that he is putting his pregnant wife and young child through the stress of a break up and divorce, and potentially a house move.

Yes children are resilient and yes OP and the kids will get through this.

But the immediate fact is that this will be a period of turmoil for both OP and her dc. She is not trying to make OP feel guilty.

So perhaps stop piling on now.

I'm aware now. Didn't have the chance to read over 25 pages before I commented

Also ..not the time for these statements, the woman has enough going on.

Commenting on the post you've commented on btw.

What do you mean ‘ignore’? Would you never question your partner and honestly assume the message was from a ‘troublemaker’? I’d love to be as blasé as you.