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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do my in laws ALWAYS desecrate my toilet?!

247 replies

sydneyprescott · 08/12/2024 09:48

In laws coming round this morning. So I’ve cleaned the downstairs bathroom.

Literally EVERY time they come, one or both of them take a massive stinky dump in our newly cleaned toilet. Can they not bloody go at home? For context they only live 10 mins away so it’s not like they have a big drive and then need to drop off a load

OP posts:
TTPDTS · 08/12/2024 09:50

I mean I personally can't do that outside of my own house so I feel your pain - it's almost a bit rude!

Hopefully they at least make an attempt to clean it / air it out?!

I wouldn't begrudge family members using a toilet for what it was made for, but I wouldn't expect it to be left a stinky mess.

chipsandpeas · 08/12/2024 09:52

maybe dont clean it then it wont be so inviting

ProvincialLady24 · 08/12/2024 09:54

Put a note up about leaving the loo as you find it.::

SingaporeSlinky · 08/12/2024 09:54

Go in after they’ve used it and heavily spray air freshener while they’re in earshot. Should make the point.

OrwellianTimes · 08/12/2024 09:54

Well as someone who has bowel disease thanks for this. When I have to go I have to go.

They should leave it clean however. Maybe leave cleaning stuff obvious?

SaagAloopa · 08/12/2024 09:55

Buy a new loo brush and show them next time. Buy one that is especially accessible to them so easy to use and say you feel so bad they were so clearly struggling with your old one.

SaagAloopa · 08/12/2024 09:56

But shit does smell

JedwardScissorhandz · 08/12/2024 09:57

Seems legit this.

WalterdelaMare · 08/12/2024 09:57

Ew. I’d hate this but what can you do?

NigelHarmansNewWife · 08/12/2024 09:59

It's a toilet, you can't expect people not to use it or only use it as you wish. If they don't clean up after themselves when there is the means available that's a different matter.

GrandHighPoohbah · 08/12/2024 09:59

Do they always arrive at the same time? If that clashes with their "morning poo slot" could you ask them to arrive an hour later? I hear you though, I would be silently irritated by that.

Anotherworrier · 08/12/2024 10:00

What a strange thing to keep tabs on.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 08/12/2024 10:01

If there’s bleach and a loo brush but they’re leaving poo marks then YANBU.

If it’s just a bit of a smell then YABVU, I think people who shame others for doing a poo in the loo are complete pricks to be honest. You have no idea whether someone has a health issue and it’s really not nice to shame people for a normal bodily function.

thecherryfox · 08/12/2024 10:03

Not being funny but a lot of people hate the idea of going to the toilet in other peoples homes. It’s either that they REALLY need to go, or they feel comfortable at your home to be able to do that… possibly both. I don’t see how you’re complaining about them using a toilet, that’s what it’s made for? You can’t help when your body needs to go. Jesus- you want a toilet for show🤣

SaagAloopa · 08/12/2024 10:04

thecherryfox · 08/12/2024 10:03

Not being funny but a lot of people hate the idea of going to the toilet in other peoples homes. It’s either that they REALLY need to go, or they feel comfortable at your home to be able to do that… possibly both. I don’t see how you’re complaining about them using a toilet, that’s what it’s made for? You can’t help when your body needs to go. Jesus- you want a toilet for show🤣

True maybe it's a sign they feel at home. A compliment.

SallyWD · 08/12/2024 10:04

I never understand people who say they can only poo in their own toilet. So if you're at work for 8 hours, or having a full day out, and you need to go, you just hold it in?? I'm simply not physically capable of doing this (and it's bad for you). Or do people just never leave their homes for long?
I think it's a bit mean to be monitoring what they do in the toilet. This is what toilets are designed for. Maybe they didn't have the urge at home but when they need to go, they need to go!

MintyFreshest · 08/12/2024 10:05

I'm assuming they shit very soon after arriving? If so I can see why you're annoyed!

Personally I hate other people pooing in our house. The smell is bad enough from my immediate family never mind my FILs which absolutely reek but what can you do? It's a toilet.

eightIsNewNine · 08/12/2024 10:05

YaWeeFurryBastard · 08/12/2024 10:01

If there’s bleach and a loo brush but they’re leaving poo marks then YANBU.

If it’s just a bit of a smell then YABVU, I think people who shame others for doing a poo in the loo are complete pricks to be honest. You have no idea whether someone has a health issue and it’s really not nice to shame people for a normal bodily function.

This.

It is ok to use the toilet.
It is rude and unreasonable to not perform the reasonable steps to clean after yourself.

Maybe the ten minutes walk encourages their digestive systems.

Hekett · 08/12/2024 10:05

Do you mean defecate?

also a toilet has one job, and this is literally it.

lazyarse123 · 08/12/2024 10:07

For some reason I can't fathom I always need to go when at my daughter's, but the big difference is I always clean it and if I can't I ask for the stuff to do it and apologise.

Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 10:07

That would annoy me too OP.
I'm quite blunt though so would probably ask if there's a reason 'why you feel that you have to take a stinky dump every time you visit, when your own house isn't far away?'

Lalalaking · 08/12/2024 10:07

thecherryfox · 08/12/2024 10:03

Not being funny but a lot of people hate the idea of going to the toilet in other peoples homes. It’s either that they REALLY need to go, or they feel comfortable at your home to be able to do that… possibly both. I don’t see how you’re complaining about them using a toilet, that’s what it’s made for? You can’t help when your body needs to go. Jesus- you want a toilet for show🤣

Exactly what I was thinking 🤔

YaWeeFurryBastard · 08/12/2024 10:08

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MintyFreshest · 08/12/2024 10:08

SallyWD · 08/12/2024 10:04

I never understand people who say they can only poo in their own toilet. So if you're at work for 8 hours, or having a full day out, and you need to go, you just hold it in?? I'm simply not physically capable of doing this (and it's bad for you). Or do people just never leave their homes for long?
I think it's a bit mean to be monitoring what they do in the toilet. This is what toilets are designed for. Maybe they didn't have the urge at home but when they need to go, they need to go!

For the most part I simply cannot go outside of my own home. I might want to, but it just won't come out.

I really wish this weren't the case because it's very uncomfortable and I can be left with griping stomach pain all day

Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 10:09

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Sure.