Why do my in laws ALWAYS desecrate my toilet?!

[sydneyprescott]

In laws coming round this morning. So I’ve cleaned the downstairs bathroom.

Literally EVERY time they come, one or both of them take a massive stinky dump in our newly cleaned toilet. Can they not bloody go at home? For context they only live 10 mins away so it’s not like they have a big drive and then need to drop off a load

The smell

ExBIL used to do this but he didn't use our downstairs toilet - he'd use the guest bedroom which had an en-suite. I didn't realise at first, then when I was making the bed for friends to stay one weekend, I asked ExH if he was using that toilet as it was minging! He said no (and tbf he did use another one normally so I believed him) and it remained a mystery until I caught ExBIL on his way upstairs another time - asked him why (no need to be going upstairs on a visit) and he told me... so I told him to either leave it as he found it, or use a different toilet. It was honestly so disgusting, the way he'd leave it. He did look a bit embarrassed when I told him to clean up properly, so obviously knew he'd left it a mess! He was quite young at the time (early 20s) so hopefully the embarrassment has scarred him for life into cleaning up after himself!

My FIL does exactly the same. When they come over from another country they stay in a hotel about 400 metres from our house. They walk over each morning from across the road and stay all day. That's fine. Within 5 mins of arriving he takes a dump in the downstairs loo. Absolutely gross 🤢🤢🤢

Are you the OP's MIL? If not, what has the fact you have bowel disease got to do with anything?

I wouldn't mind them using the toilet if they need it and find the whole "I couldn't possibly go outside my home" a bit precious.

But I would expect it to be left in a decent state. We have toilet brush and bleach in an obviously place in our toilet and people still leave it with marks, drives me mad!

Ooh look let's start a thread about poo and get people to share lots of shitting stories and vanish
perfectly normal behaviour

I have a condition where when need to go I can often have then than 2 minutes notice before it's urgent. So I'm used to not being embarrassed about using people's toilets. I always, always open a window (at least whilst I'm in there) and use any cleaning products and room sprays that are left in there, so I leave it as clean (or cleaner) than how I found it.

Erm, possibly because you generally go on holiday for more than eight hours?

You're not making them coffee when they arrive are you? That can cause a lot of people to need to go pretty rapidly.

Wait till you see a post about workmen/cleaners needing the loo whilst working in the house 🤣

Have you tried that vipoo spray? I find it helps

My MIL does this but I know the medication she is on gives her the runs so she has no choice. Do you think it could be a similar issue?

This. Or tell them it's out of order and they need to use the service station down the road.

I absolutely hate it when people use my toilet. I realize that's eccentric but can't help it.

Have had more than usual workers & visitors lately and the number of them pooing has been agonizing. I have to give the whole room a wipe down before I feel ok using it again.

OP does the room have a window?

It's fine as long as they leave it clean.

People that leave the toilet with marks are absolutely disgusting.

I think bathrooms should be left clean other than that I can't see a problem.

No, it’s not just me. It’s most people, surely. It doesn’t have to be the morning but most people ‘train’ their bowels. ‘Train’ is probably the wrong word there as it might be subconscious, but you move from being a young child and having desperate urges to poo (often because you’ve ignored subtle signs before) and having to rush off to go in the middle of things, to going at regular times in a controlled way. Again, barring age, medical conditions, illness and so on.

Some people can get up and go immediately; some go after a coffee; some need to give their bowel a little time to wake up but still go prior to leaving, etc.

Coffee and getting up earlier, leaving yourself plenty of time can help.

@sydneyprescott lock the door from the outside so they cannot access it and tell them it is broken and awaiting the plumber!

I had an in-law that would do this even if ‘popping-in’ for a short visit! Could hear ‘it’ through 2 doors 😳
In their case I think it was a ‘… you, Frankie’ 😁

What about when you go on holiday?

Marking their territory.

Bleach, brush and airfreshner.

There are several people on this thread who said they can't go when they want or to schedule. I've reached the age of 50 and absolutely hate going at work but my sluggish bowels are on strike until around lunchtime usually. I have coffee first thing and high fibre foods but it is what it is.

If they were shitting on the floor I'd be complaining. Or walking in shit then walking through your house. Or saying you are shit.

Shitting in the place designed expressly for this purpose. Not so much.

As long as they leave it clean then I am not too bothered. It's a toilet, that's what it is for.

I take it you provide bleach or toilet duck plus a toilet brush so that this is actually possible, and aren't expecting them to put their hands down there to rub it off? If you are expecting them to do that (I wouldn't, I'd want cleaner and a brush) then that's on you.

If, despite you leaving bog brush and cleaner there, they are still leaving it coated in stinky skiddos then you would not be unreasonable to say something. Along the lines of "could everyone who uses the toilet in this house please leave it clean/as they would wish to find it" rather than apparently leaving it to you.

Put an air freshener in there to help deal with smells that aren't immediately knocked on the head by toilet cleaner. Open the window too, if there is one (I am aware that some toilets and bathrooms don't have one). That clears smell evidence pretty quickly.