Why do my in laws ALWAYS desecrate my toilet?!

[sydneyprescott]

In laws coming round this morning. So I’ve cleaned the downstairs bathroom.

Literally EVERY time they come, one or both of them take a massive stinky dump in our newly cleaned toilet. Can they not bloody go at home? For context they only live 10 mins away so it’s not like they have a big drive and then need to drop off a load

Sometimes exercise makes people want to go. I know when I first get up I don't have the urge but when I have been up a while and walking around then I do need to go. I can easily imagine that your PILs might not feel the need at home but after a ten minute walk to your house they need to go.

And I am not clear what the problem is. Are they leaving it a mess or is it just the smell. If the latter YABU. Get an air freshener or open a window or something.

Frankly I find it absurd and a bit shocking the number of people who say they can't use a toilet away from home. What's wrong with you?

My stepdad does this. It's like an animal marking territory or showing they're the biggest in the wild. I find it rude and it infuriates me. He does it at my sister's too.
Love him to bits though!

How embarrassing for you to keep tabs on your guest's toilet habits.
Make sure the brush and cleaning liquid are within easy reach and obvious.
I don't think anyone tries to go to the toilet at other people's homes but if you need to, then it's better out than in.

They're marking their territory. NC is the only way to go here.

I always need to go when I'm in asda it's bizarre 😂

I have a colleague with this problem. She says it's not good for her health to be holding it in so long.

Caffeine has that effect on a lot of people. If they are coming to yours for a coffee, they may well need to loo after.

It’s a loo. It’s what they’re for.

Sign saying

NO HEAVY USE!

My BFF has blocked my loo on many an occasion. Beautiful woman, horrible arse.
I hate sharing loos so my en suite is out of bounds. I don't even like the DH using it. I do have poo phobia though. It goes back to childhood.

If I miss my morning poo slot for whatever reason, and even worse if I'm away from home, I'm fucked.

V I Poo (genuinely thought this was a made up joke when I first heard about it) It’s fabulous, the pink one smells divine. Spritz inside the loo before they arrive & the room smells lovely. When the “item” hits the water, the smell is sealed in. Leave it out so the offender can re use it too.

Not sure if it helps prevent skid marks too, but I haven’t noticed any, so maybe it does.

Husband needs lessons specifically so he can clean up after his parents. I would refuse.

“desecrate” 🤪 😂🤣

Why - is your toilet just for show?

You can't just poo on demand so they probably can't go before they arrive. How odd to expect someone not to use the toilet.

If they have bowel issues, they really could get caught short with such regularity, @Nolegusta. Eating and drinking can be a trigger, especially coffee and hot drinks. When everyone eats or drinks, the gastrocolic reflex stimulates peristalsis to (putting it bluntly) move stuff out to make more room for the incoming food. If they have bowel issues (eg IBS), they probably have an overactive gastrocolic reflex. Presumably, OP offers them a drink at least when they visit.

I agree about leaving no mess, but I don't understand why you think they "decide" they have to go. If their digestive system tells them they need to go (maybe OP has given them something to eat or drink, which could trigger it), do you think they should deliberately ignore it and endure the discomfort until they get back home? Why?

I must be from another planet - for some mad reason I thought a toilet was for going to the toilet in.
I’m obviously using mine wrong.

Get over yourself.

It’s ridiculous to be annoyed about family using the toilet.

I have a co-worker who has IBS and when she needs to go, she has to go.
It doesn’t matter if she’s at work or someone’s home and I would never be annoyed at her or anyone else doing something that they can’t help.

Just make sure you have cleaning supplies and air freshener available for them to use afterwards.

@Frenchie01 Same! But it's always when I'm halfway round Tesco.
It's so weird!

OP make your dp go in after them and sort it out.

How could you not?! It's normal human behaviour. Someone regularly shits up your loo, you're going to notice. It's a human trait to recognise patterns.
It's a really odd and ignorant thing for you to have written.

Unless you’re op’s in law it doesn’t apply to you? Why take umbrage on someone else’s behalf?

I think it’s odd that is only so close to home at least one of them need to go at your house every time they are there.

Dh is like this at his mother’s. Even if only grabbing something he has to have a shit. If his grabbing something from any other house it’s fine but his mother at least one shit per visit.

At home has to shit first thing morning routine wake up, shit not one single day can he get up and do anything prior to apparently needing to shit.

I think in dh’s case and many it’s learnt behaviour. Bit like the sudden urge to pee when putting your key in the lock. So dh sees his mums house needs a shit. Alarm goes off need a shit no matter if it’s 9am or 7am.

I have to be ready to explode to poo in public or others houses.

You can set your watch by my bowels. As I get up. I never need to go on a day out 🤷‍♀️
I’m ok first thing in the am in someone else’s house/hotel/wherever

😂😂😂 so funny

Did you mean to sound so patronising?
My point stands. It's highly likely they are territory marking.