Why do my in laws ALWAYS desecrate my toilet?!

[sydneyprescott]

In laws coming round this morning. So I’ve cleaned the downstairs bathroom.

Literally EVERY time they come, one or both of them take a massive stinky dump in our newly cleaned toilet. Can they not bloody go at home? For context they only live 10 mins away so it’s not like they have a big drive and then need to drop off a load

lol what do you use your toilet for ? Is it just a decoration?

Does your poo not smell or something? Doing a number two is a normal part of life, I can’t understand people who are terrified of pooing outside their own home.

Imagine using a toilet for its intended purpose. Shocking.

I know of someone, an intelligent and highly educated woman, who took Immodium for the duration of a holiday, so she didn't have to poo. She told me this herself (not randomly, there was an ongoing conversation about toilet habits, spurred by an unpleasant incident).

If they were pooing on the sofa or behind the fridge I would say YANBU. But the toilet is there to be weed and pooed in - it literally serves no other purpose, unless you want it as a water feature.

Leave the window open or the extractor fan on, and give the Harpic a whirl before they arrive, so nothing sticks. If they need to go they aren't realistically going to say "Excuse me everyone, I need to defecate so I'm going to walk home - back in 22 minutes".

It's a toilet; it's a shit. They kinda go together OP. In fact, it's actually what toilets are designed for. I've never understood how people time their shits. I am physically incapable of going on cue, I either need a shit or I don't. The idea of getting ready to go somewhere and being able to think "ooo I need to have a shit before I go" and somehow manage to get my bowel to translate that thought into pushing one out seems so nonsensical to me.

Before I came on Mumsnet I had no idea how many people had very definite ideas about who was allowed to poo in which toilets.

Along with another group who can't poo at all unless in a specific toilet.

And another group who can never sit down on a toilet unless it's one of their pre-designated "safe" ones or they've decorated the seat with half a roll of paper.

Holidays are the exception. I don't know why🙈

Dont get old@sydneyprescott I used to think like you but at 65 things have changed.

Add lots of reed diffusers, but that won't help them with the cleaning.

We've been renovating and 1 workman did the biggest poonami I've ever seen. Poo had sprayed upwards and covered the underneath of the seat! He'd made no attempt to clean it either! 😡

Since having children, if I need to go I HAVE to go, I don’t have the luxury of holding on to a poo for hours. I would be mortified and so upset if someone went in after me and made a big show of spraying air freshner, so please don’t do this.

Just send your DH in after they’ve left to sort it out and learn to shrug your shoulders about minor issues.

Honestly, if someone only lives 10 mins away I would wonder why they keep deciding they need a poo when they happen to be at my loo. It is quite odd. If someone has bowel issues then they may well end up caught shortbon occasion, but that wouldn't be with such regularity. Most decent folk would also ensure no mess was left.

They should definitely be cleaning up after themselves and always make sure to have a spray in there or maybe some VIPoo?
I spent years in chronic pain because I refused to go to the loo in public, I actually had to talk about it in therapy as it got so bad! I would rather not do it in public but I have a very irritable stomach and when I need to go I need to go.

OP hasn't actually said that they leave a mess, or how she knows that they've had a poo.

That is so weird! Who takes Imodium so that they don’t poo outside of their own home?! Like, why?!

Why do people keep saying it's unacceptable that they leave a mess? OP hasn't said they leave a message, just that they have "a massive, stinky dump". How she knows the size of their dumps is beyond me. I'm pretty sure they don't leave them in the toilet so I expect OP is making assumptions.

My body literally won't do it, its not a choice i just end up constipated. I was away for 2 weeks once couldn't poo then ended up hospitalised as I was so constipated it blocked me being able to wee i had to have a catheter put in. 🙈

Mess not message

She just hated the thought of using a strange loo. I think it was also somewhere that used loo roll goes in a bin as opposed to being flushed (somewhere in Greece perhaps?).

You can’t help when your body needs to go

Barring medical conditions, yes, you can. You get up and go in the morning before you head out. You don’t wait until you have an overbearing need to poo before going! That’s what children do. Again, barring age or medical conditions, most people can control their bowels and go prior to or after visits.

Can you put a loo brush and deoderant spray in prominent locations in the toilet room, and add some plug in deoderants or jars or room fragrance? Or those things you wire under the rim of the toilet?

At the end of the day, a toilet is for crapping in.

Upset stomach for some reason probably, but he definitely should have made efforts to clean up.

That’s me. I don’t hold it in, I just don’t need to go unless I’m at home. There must be a strong psychological connection between my brain and my bowels.

I’ve never once had to shit at work, on a day trip, at a friend’s house... We’re all different.

Absolute nonsense. This may be how your body works but we're all different. I'd love to go in the morning but I can't. My bowels simply don't wake up until late morning/early afternoon so I always have to go at work. I hate it but I'm physically incapable of going earlier or holding it in until I get home.

OP I would just bleach and flush and wipe down the top, make it look presentable and clean after.
We have a lot of visitors most days to ours (kids friends mostly and they poop whenever wherever) and we have proper clean 1x a week in all bathroom etc and spot clean daily. Spot clean, make it look presentable, clean once they are gone.
Wouldn't get worked up about family using the loo, if anything personally I am always proud that everyone sees my home as comfortable and uses my kitchen, bathrooms etc as they see fit. People being comfortable and happy is the most important IMHO.

Although the state of the toilets after big gatherings like birthdays and Christmas...sometimes it does surprise me. It's a high turnover then though. 😂