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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why do my in laws ALWAYS desecrate my toilet?!

247 replies

sydneyprescott · 08/12/2024 09:48

In laws coming round this morning. So I’ve cleaned the downstairs bathroom.

Literally EVERY time they come, one or both of them take a massive stinky dump in our newly cleaned toilet. Can they not bloody go at home? For context they only live 10 mins away so it’s not like they have a big drive and then need to drop off a load

OP posts:
Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 15:43

Mipil · 08/12/2024 15:37

Why would OP know if the suffer from IBS/IBD or urge incontinence, @Nolegusta? It’s their private medical information to choose whether they share that or not.

It’s not relevant whether they do or don’t have bowel issues as to whether your comments are ignorant or ableist.

I quote you:

It is quite odd. If someone has bowel issues they may end up caught shortbon occasion, but that wouldn't be with such regularity.

I pointed out why that is factually incorrect.

You then followed that with:

Well then have the coffee, or do whatever thing stimulates the poo, at home, before coming? Of course they don't need to mark territory at home, do they? 🤢🤢🤢🤢

As I already explained, that won’t work if they have something like IBS.

So you think people with a medical condition or disability should moderate their lives so they don’t inconvenience people with their bodily functions leaving a smell (NB OP hasn’t said they leave a mess, just a smell)?

You've dropped a few of your straws.

thepariscrimefiles · 08/12/2024 16:02

Mipil · 08/12/2024 13:49

Ableist comments like that deserve a patronising response 🙄

Which university did you study armchair psychology at?

If they have something like IBS, that isn’t going to work unless they take a powerful laxative to completely empty their bowels. People with bowel disease do often avoid eating and drinking when they are out in case they get caught short. You would hope that the one place they feel comfortable doing normal things like having a social cup of coffee would be at a family member’s home.

Show quote history

I think this was a response to a poster who said that she always did a poo 45 minutes after having a cup of coffee.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 08/12/2024 16:33

If they've got to go, they've got to go. Living 10 minutes away isn't really the point if the urge arrives just as they walk through your front door.
If they are not cleaning the loo properly afterwards that's another matter. Putting out cleaner and a brush in a prominent position, and opening the window before they arrive, could help.

Mipil · 08/12/2024 16:50

It wasn’t, @thepariscrimefiles. It was in response to a poster suggesting that if it happened every time, maybe it was triggered by drinking coffee or something at OP’s home. @Nolegusta persists in saying that they are doing it on purpose to mark their territory 🙄 She seems to think that they should do whatever triggers their need before they leave home so they don’t inconvenience other people with the smell of their bodily functions despite having had it explained to her why it won’t work most people, especially if they have bowel issues.

Anyway, let’s use Occam’s razor here. Somewhere between 15 and 30% of the population have had symptoms of IBS. 100% of us have gastrocolic reflex. What’s more likely, that they are control freaks with amazing bowel control that deliberately poo on command every time they visit to mark their territory or that they need to use the loo because they have bowel issues or are just having a natural response to eating or drinking that we all have that 🙄

BettyBardMacDonald · 08/12/2024 16:51

Whether due to a medical condition or not, they should be attempting to moderate the impact on their hosts. Open window, turn on extractor fan, strike matches, search out or ask for cleaning products, and bring own PooPourri (they sell purse-size versions of it) are things that considerate people would do.

Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 17:07

Mipil · 08/12/2024 16:50

It wasn’t, @thepariscrimefiles. It was in response to a poster suggesting that if it happened every time, maybe it was triggered by drinking coffee or something at OP’s home. @Nolegusta persists in saying that they are doing it on purpose to mark their territory 🙄 She seems to think that they should do whatever triggers their need before they leave home so they don’t inconvenience other people with the smell of their bodily functions despite having had it explained to her why it won’t work most people, especially if they have bowel issues.

Anyway, let’s use Occam’s razor here. Somewhere between 15 and 30% of the population have had symptoms of IBS. 100% of us have gastrocolic reflex. What’s more likely, that they are control freaks with amazing bowel control that deliberately poo on command every time they visit to mark their territory or that they need to use the loo because they have bowel issues or are just having a natural response to eating or drinking that we all have that 🙄

I stand by my comments.
If you don't agree then ignore me and move on. You don't have to keep making up accusations when you've no idea what situation I am in or understand.

Auburngal · 08/12/2024 17:19

SaagAloopa · 08/12/2024 15:12

You can't stand them?

Show quote history

What I meant is those people who say that they can only do poos in their own home. Just you wait til you get digestion or bowel issues. Then will regret what they said.

Ever since gallbladder removal. One minute I’m fine and the next, I am dying to do a poo. Like a flick of a switch. Fortunately it has been places where I can access a toilet.

JohnTheRevelator · 08/12/2024 17:21

If this was me,I wouldn't bother cleaning it before they came round!

Newname85 · 08/12/2024 17:24

WTF is wrong with some women these days? They are your husband’s parents !! They pee/poop whatever - it’s their son’s house. If you have a problem, get DH to sort out the problem after they leave.

Do you think they hold poop until they get to your place? Do you really think people do that?

Im assuming you never poop in other peoples homes or your parents never poop while they are visiting you.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 08/12/2024 18:48

Some people need to unclench on this thread - quite literally

MintShaker · 08/12/2024 18:53

Mrsmch123 · 08/12/2024 10:15

I absolutely can't go anywhere but my own toilet. I've tried but I just can't. Never done a poo at work. My stomach will be sore and uncomfortable but no matter how hard I try it just doesnt happen.

Show quote history

How do you manage when you go on holiday?

Liverpool52 · 08/12/2024 18:58

Shocker: people use toilet for it's intended purpose.

They should absolutely be leaving it clean (assuming the means are there for them to do so).

But given the Op hasn't been back to clarify if that's actually the problem, I'm guessing poo troll.

Printedword · 08/12/2024 18:59

So if someone in my family had a poo at my house and looked for and used cleaning products for the loo, I would think that was really odd.

If someone in my family had a poo at my house and it was a bit pongy etc., I would think that was just the same as anyone who lived there having a poo in the loo.

Only the person who does loo cleaning cleans our loo and if he’s not here I do. Guests don’t.

arcticpandas · 08/12/2024 19:06

I lost a friend over a poo incident..temporarily at least. I was out walking and had stomach aches close to her house so I called and asked if I could drop by. Well, I never smelt something so foul in my whole life🤢.. I even had some in my knickers🤯 so I rushed home to shower and change. Sent a message excusing myself and thanking her. Didn't hear anything back in a year 🤣.. It was really bad and quite a rude thing to do (I did clean up though but the smell was awful) so I don't blame her.

@sydneyprescott I can't believe they keep on doing this. If they live 10 minutes away surely they can hold it until they get home. I know I couldn't but it was a stomach bug and if they have that problem constantly they should see their gp. I would say the toilet is out of order when they drop by. As in plumbing problems so only pee is possible.

arcticpandas · 08/12/2024 19:07

Printedword · 08/12/2024 18:59

So if someone in my family had a poo at my house and looked for and used cleaning products for the loo, I would think that was really odd.

If someone in my family had a poo at my house and it was a bit pongy etc., I would think that was just the same as anyone who lived there having a poo in the loo.

Only the person who does loo cleaning cleans our loo and if he’s not here I do. Guests don’t.

So you think it's normal to leave shitstains in other peoples toilets? 🤮

CurlewKate · 08/12/2024 19:14

It's a bloody loo. How can you desecrate a loo by using it as a loo?

Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 19:36

CurlewKate · 08/12/2024 19:14

It's a bloody loo. How can you desecrate a loo by using it as a loo?

You don't understand how someone can leave a mess in a loo?

nutbrownhare15 · 08/12/2024 19:55

It's your in laws so presumably your husband/wife can clean the bathroom for them and after them? And have a word about leaving it clean? Not sure why it's your job to deal with it.

Dramatic · 08/12/2024 20:33

Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 17:07

I stand by my comments.
If you don't agree then ignore me and move on. You don't have to keep making up accusations when you've no idea what situation I am in or understand.

Show quote history

You are being weirdly persistent. Plenty of people have IBS, loads of them undiagnosed. If I get the urge to go then I only have a short time to find myself a toilet, I can't predict when it will happen or what will trigger it. I'd hope my family would be considerate of that.

VegTrug · 08/12/2024 20:37

Thanks for that vision, OP.....

How can we possibly answer this?!

Nolegusta · 08/12/2024 20:38

Dramatic · 08/12/2024 20:33

You are being weirdly persistent. Plenty of people have IBS, loads of them undiagnosed. If I get the urge to go then I only have a short time to find myself a toilet, I can't predict when it will happen or what will trigger it. I'd hope my family would be considerate of that.

Show quote history

I'm responding to strangely persistent and unfounded accusations. Feel free to ignore my comments.

summersolsticesoon · 08/12/2024 21:05

It is sometimes necessary to use a toilet other than your own toilet in your own home.

If there are no cleaning materials there are other ways to clean the toilet , the bowl should always be left spotless using toilet paper and even a little toothpaste or shower gel, there should never be poo left smeared round the bowl .

Smells do happen but you can open a window.

Printedword · 08/12/2024 21:11

arcticpandas · 08/12/2024 19:07

So you think it's normal to leave shitstains in other peoples toilets? 🤮

Show quote history

It’s something that might happen and it isn’t a thing you could always prevent from happening. Obvs if there is a brush there you could use it but if you sought out rubber gloves and toilet duck that’s going too far.

eightIsNewNine · 09/12/2024 02:51

I can understand that some people's bowels perform only at home. It just isn't a virtue, it is either a sheer randomness or a rather unhealthy result of some kind of shaming.

Let's not spread the shaming further; it is ok to use toilet outside home, just use the brush afterwards to keep it clean.

CurlewKate · 09/12/2024 04:22

@Nolegusta "You don't understand how someone can leave a mess in a loo?"

The OP did not say they left a mess in the loo. She said they used the loo.

Obviously if you leave a mess you clean. If you leave a smell there's not much you can do about that if there's no air freshener or no opening window.