For wanting to hang out with my good friend without her baby all the time?

[Railous]

Don’t get me wrong her baby is very cute. I understand having to bring a newborn or a baby that is very small and still breastfeeding. But her baby is soon 1 year old and takes bottle. I understand she is very proud of her mini self and wants to show her off. But it also becomes distracting when we meet, baby is more awake and craves more attention, and conversations being interupted by a baby is not my cup of tea. Also not sitting in a restaurant having a baby that gets fussy and feel like i have to help out with baby, its like i become a co parent with her.

Not fun at all. Espacially since her partner is at home gaming or whatever while she brings baby. I understand that she can’t hang out as much as before and i understand that. But kinda sad when i see her off all sudden posting out with her partner and another couple and they at a restaurant without baby. I just miss my friend and our conversations. Also when baby is around it all becomes centred around looking and talking about baby. I don’t want to come out as rude i just wish one time to get some alone time with her like good old days.

I don’t blame you for being fed up. There’s nothing more boring than other peoples’ children.

@Christmasatcadburys yea especially every time we hang out

Then do your friend a favour and find other friends

Already did. Many years ago. Best decision I ever made. I'm not a great believer in wasting my precious time on friends who obviously don't give a shit about me.

Aha all these posters commenting that you need to accept it etc are ridiculous - I’d be SO exasperated that the baby came everywhere! I have a small child and would be 100% be leaving her with her dad while I enjoyed a catch up with my friends!

@BlaBlaBla87436780087
i think people who say this are people who can’t leave the baby with their partner and brings it everywhere, and only talk, focus about the baby, and then later wonder why they lost a friend

@Railous i think at the end of the it depends on how good of a friend i see the other person as. i have maybe 3 very close friends who have been with me through thick and thin. anyone else it’s going to be a coffee catch up with the baby

Or post on here (when their kids are older) to ask why they don't have any friends!!

@Nanny0gg and this reason i want adult time since a baby don’t understand and can’t wait for its turn. So mom is 99% entertaining baby or having a hard time listening to what i have to say. Simply becomes a waste of time when every meet up is baby included.

@TwentyBillion can’t really blame their friends. Especially when the parent friend makes their child or baby their whole personality. And nothing else than baby talk comes out from their mouth, its exhausting!

@motherofbabydragon well thats boring

@FruitFlyPie
like i don’t want to talk or hear about the baby the whole hang out
No ones baby or kid is that interesting that i want to hear everything about them and their life

This. Your friend has a baby now and it is the most important thing in the world to her. You will have to accept her life has changed.

You sound very unpleasant.

@CaptainMyCaptain no shi, and i think most people are aware of that🤣.
But you also have parents who make an effort to meet their friends without kids/baby on tow. Some parents mostly take and never give

@CaptainMyCaptain also not very pleasant to hear someone babling about their kid the whole hang out , diapers, night routines, hard life ect, or hang out being about entertaining a kid

But why?! She’s not said she hates her baby- she’s said that they go out, her friend is distracted the whole time and talks non stop baby and there’s no need when her husband is at home. I have kids myself and hate it when people do this! There’s so much adult stuff to chat about. To the mum the baby is so interesting but to others they really aren’t. I’ve never put my kids on other people!

@TheJones fr some people think that just because others want adult time, that you are a baby hater, not always true. I think most people hate parents who become so obsessed with their child and can’t do anything without them anymore. And then the parent ask why they lost friends. Its super tiring to hang out with someone who brings a baby everytime that needs constant attention and becomes fuzzy. And you can’t enjoy food at a restaurant because friend needs help with baby that can’t stop whining or cryin. So i have declined when she ask for a trip to a restaurant. No thanks! Don’t want to pay lot of money to deal with someone elses baby.

What does the friend have to accept? Can she never be there for the OP ever?

Friendships are supposed to be two-way

I've been friends with most of my friends for years and years, through ups and downs and all the joys and tragedies of life. If they couldn't deal with the fact that for now my baby is now the absolute centre of my life (and will be until he’s bigger and I don’t feel the need to be with him 90% of the time) then I'm not sure they were a friend worth having to begin with. I say that as someone who does leave my 6 month old with his Dad regularly to do things that I want to do, but none of those things are 'hanging out' with people who'd prefer to pretend he doesn't exist.

Also OP, the word you're looking for is 'fussy' not 'fuzzy'. Unless the baby in question is particularly hairy I suppose.

@CheeseWisely your baby is YOUR center of your life not your friends life. I get that a newborn and breastfeeding baby need to come but as soon as baby start taking bottle and is almost 1 year old it can stay home with dad. Thing is that is not that people make like the baby dosn’t exist. They just not that interesting to everyone than parents. Or they don’t know what to do or talk about when it comes to a baby and most don’t mean to offend parents they just don’t relate of know. It reach to a point when friends don’t enjoy your company when a baby is gonna be present in every hangout.. til its 18 years old. Friendship is about take and give

Unfortunately it’s the joys of being a parent their priority will always be their kids over u.

@Skybluepinky and that is no suprise lol, think everyone is aware of that. But get suprised when they start losing friends. For me friendship is about give and take

I think what most critics are missing is that the friend does stuff without the baby with other friends that aren't the OP I.e. OP is getting the message she is low priority, which can hurt. We're all entitled to choose our priorities and how we spend our free time, and yet it's quite a human reaction to feel hurt if we are not as important to someone as they are to us.
It doesn't even have to be about babies, the baby may have just revealed this. May - its also possible your friend doesn't know its bothering you so much and would make time for you if you asked.

@Poodleville yea like she had priotized one on one time with her other friend and them going on double dates.. while with me and my partner or only me baby has to come.. its not the same, and feels shite when they make time like this for others but with me or me and my partner its always baby included

Wow, yes I think this friendship is over. Parenthood which most definitely includes holding and being interested in babies/ children is a massive part of her life now. If you feel that interacting with her child is babysitting I really can't see a future in it.