To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

[MargaretBrewer]

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

Hmm. My parents were immigrants who didn’t have much money, nor were they highly educated.

I live in an expensive part of London, nice holidays, and own a lovely home. My children are, I would say, are pretty privileged.

What am I faking? Should I have not tried to earn money? Should I have stayed in my box?

Dahling, all the world's a stage and each must play his part.... according to the magickal laws that govern the Universe we create our own realities and how we present ourselves is part of the game. I for example am a witch, dress like one and am poor as a church mouse but you'd never guess from my vocabulary and posture,and totally classless to boot so take that as you will.... once you have nibbled a few fungi you'll be in on the joke and the clenching won't be so painful........😘 🍄 🎩 🪄 🔮 ✨️ 🎱

Accent and manners are much stronger class markers than any of the other things you mention like career, owning property, liking arts.

Lots of middle class people have local accents but they would tend to be mild. If you want to pass as UMC, you need to speak with a mild accent or RP and learn the manners to accompany.... I wouldn't call that snobbery though. Snobbery is judging someone else on their perceived class - not changing your own

Well firstly - yes of course it can. Secondly - everybody chooses to a certain extent how to present themselves. Finally, most people's manner, look, interests etc are a bit of a mixture of classes and types. It's not somehow 'cheating' to aspire to, or adopt, a certain lifestyle or attitude. What a strange OP.

Yes of course things aren't as they seem in a society of human beings.
Every time someone wears makeup or dos their hair to try to enhance their appearance , or wears their best suit to a job interview to look polished, or buys a fancy car that they will enjoy showing off, they are deliberately trying to manipulate their image in the eyes of the world. This is done within social classes and groups too, not just middle class ones. It's part of life.

You snooped around until you found out what your acquaintance’s husband’s father did for a living.

How… unusual.

Calm down, Hyacinth.

lol.

Her father was a welder you say! <Swoons onto fainting couch and fans self with Waitrose magazine>

Oh I hate when this happens. Apparently the Prince of wales is married to the granddaughter of a coal miner. Will
Someone please think of the bloodline

Oh so you're upset because these people you've been admiring are just the children of builders when it's only the long-established middle class who deserve your admiration.

Not quite sure what you think those of us who are from working class backgrounds but are members of historically middle class professions are supposed to do?
Should I go into work wearing a flat cap and carrying a whippet just to warn patients in advance that I am an "actor" and not a bona fide middle class doctor?
If asked I make absolutely no secret of where I'm from or what kind of school I went to, I'm not ashamed of that, but I don't feel the need to tell random people my family history.
I live in a similar house, drive a similar car and have a similar lifestyle to my colleague who comes from a long line of doctors, went to a minor public school and would probably be considered "proper" middle class but the OP. And why wouldn't I - we have the same salary! My parents and grandparents were not well off and my great grandparents were illiterate. So what? I've worked hard, earned well and spent my money on "middle class" things like a nice house and I'm just as entitled to do so as anyone else. Do you actually think social mobility is a bad thing OP??

I think this is about you OP - you’re seeing middle class “markers” and you’re making assumptions aabout bout the background of those people. You then feel affronted when the reality doesn’t match the fiction you’ve created. I don’t really know what the parents of my friends did because I haven’t done a deep dive on their backgrounds. Why do you think you felt compelled to snoop? What were you trying to prove ?

Is social mobility not allowed any more? I celebrate people who have come from a disadvantaged background and done really well in life, often against the odds. In fact I respect those people much more than those with the silver spoon.
I'm suspecting you are MC and had a fall from grace and are struggling with it

But sailing and skiing are really fun things to do - why would you assume he wasn't genuine in liking them?

A welder? Oh the shame! Worked in steel! I feel quite faint.

Yes it can.
It's like when you move to a different country you end up picking up a local accent, dressing like locals, taking part in local activities and so on. You pick it up and absorb it without intending to change yourself. It just happens.

It's not performing or acting. You absorb the ways of your social circles and work circles if you are in it long enough.

It's surely not so difficult to understand.

So you think 'working class made good' should stay in their lane and remain working class and how very dare they enter certain professions.

Ok.

Gosh I'm not surprised you changed your name before posting such an embarrassing OP

I’m the same. My accent shifts from bland with a slight twang when I’m down south where o live to full on Black Country when I talk to my family. It’s not a conscious thing. I don’t even hear it though others do.

as for it being the sign of being musical…that must be true as I have the voice of an angel 😉

The single woman who is a writer with artistic flair should know her place🤣🤣🤣
Presumably she couldn't care less that her father was a welder ( apart from feeling sorry that he never enjoyed the advantages he obviously gave her).
Who knows.. maybe he wrote poetry in his spare time.

This certainly is one of the more ridiculous OPs I've read here on MN 😂

I’m thinking chip/shoulder (massive).

OTOH it does make a change from decidedly MC people (especially politicians) falling over themselves to claim WC roots. Not that MN is without those saying they’re ‘proudly’ working class. Why ‘proud’, I always wonder? What have you done to achieve it? Or were you asked before birth what class you’d like to be born into - ‘Ooh, working class please! Don’t send me to any horrible MC family - I couldn’t bear it!’

I think you’d implode if you met me OP 😂 grew up penniless in a council house, now own a 5 bed… love drinking Earl grey and tending my herbaceous borders, but still enjoy a sweaty rave at the weekend… accent swings from terribly posh to full Essex depending on who I’m talking to! I’d love to know how that fits into your parameters 🤣

But all those things are fun and enjoyable things to do if you have the money to do them. The working classes don't tend to do them because they cost a fucking fortune not because they don't want to be rumbled for masquerading as middle class.