To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

[MargaretBrewer]

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

Hello Hyacinth!

You must be having the vapours about Prince (future King) George. Only a couple or 3 generations from Durham coalmines on his Mum's side.

(Imagines OP outside the Abbey in a few decades time shouting "get that crown off you pretentious peasant!!")

One of my former friends looked down on men from council estates or poor areas. Didn't want to date them. I then found out her mother was from a working class suburb but you'd never guess. She didn't have the working class accent even though she was working class, and so were her family before. It was all about image and address with this former friends family. Trying to be someone you're not.

I thought it was the other way round ... people trying to make out they're working class when they're not!!

The obsession with class is one of the worst things about this country. OP I can’t figure out for a second why you care or even think about this nonsense. They’re people - some people are idiots, some are not, whether their parents worked in the steel industry or own half of Pimlico is by the by.

This.

Why are you so obsessed with other people? It doesn’t matter where they come from and how they present themselves now - do you expect them to act poor because their parents were poor? You are so weird!

You sound deeply jealous with a massive chip on your shoulder and very unhappy.

So, if people do well for themselves, you snoop around and find out about them? A lot of people with money work hard and have a bit of luck along the way and that's how they made their money I might be wrong but you sound a bit put out by this?

This is so bizarre. I choose my friends based on if they're nice people. Don't give a crap what their parents did for a living unless y'know, part of Putin's inner circle or Nazi supremacists. And even then I judge individuals not their family.

Can also totally understand how someone from a WC background who's pulled themselves to MC (and I hate class shite while on the subject but we all know it exists) might adopt a different accent or whatever in an effort to be accepted by people like the OP who seem to want to exterminate social mobility.

Fuck me this is a sad thread, to think people actually think like this.

Are you ok?? Have you never heard of the phrase “social mobility”. My parents were working class- they were so focussed on my education as they had so few opportunities in life. I was the first to go to uni and have been very successful. My husband is exactly the same. We now live in a million pound house and kids go to private school. We have worked hard and achieved a lot. How is that acting???

Indeed. I sail. In fact I own a boat...shouldn't be allowed really. I learned as an adult and do it because I enjoy it. I would have enjoyed it as a kid too but never had the chance. My DC have what might be seen as MC hobbies. I'd have liked them when I was a kid too, but my parents didn't have the money so I couldn't. Am I supposed to avoid them now even though I can afford enjoyable things, just in case someone thinks I'm acting above my station? I don't think so!
Never been skiing, doesn't appeal and I don't feel obliged to do it just because lots of other people in my income bracket do.

Jesus! ‘Their’ snobbery? You need to take a look in the mirror! 🙄

Maybe you’re just really bad at reading people? My dad was a binman and I grew up in a very poor, dysfunctional household and got to Oxford from a school where you needed to be good with your fists if you could read. DH (dad a mechanic who was often unemployed, mother a cleaner, older brother in jail for armed robbery his entire childhood) and I both have lots of degrees, professional jobs, a lovely old house (in need of ongoing renovation) and a comfortable income, I speak five languages well, have won awards for my books, and love opera, DH, a bibliophile, likes skiing and eating in Michelin-starred restaurants, but anyone reasonably attuned to social nuance talking to either of us for a minute would know perfectly well we’re educated WC. Neither of us would have the remotest interest in pretending otherwise.

Maybe you just need to pay more attention to people? It’s not some faux-MC conspiracy by the proles.

What are you talking about? So people can't do well for themselves and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle because their parents didn't? Strange attitude to have.

My gosh you sound like a dreadful snob! Who on earth cares what a grown adults parents did for their career? What difference does it make? Why shouldn't the child of a welder be middle class?
I always think middle class usually means a University education. Other than that I wouldn't consider looking up the person's family tree to establish their level of posh-ness.
What a load of old nonsense!

Spot on!

English people are soooo obsessed about middle class, whilst the aristrocats and degenerates just get on with their substance abuse.

You sound a bigger snob then them, also yes accents change and who said they ever had twhatever accent you’re imagining they had?

I heard Robert Rinder on a podcast recently saying that he consciously made the decision as a young teenager to recreate himself as a middle class person. It was very interesting.

Oh my! What does it matter what background people came from? Especially if they are doing well for themselves now.

You sound like a snobbish character from a 19th century novel, tutting about your nouveau-riche neighbours. whose fathers made their money In Trade, shock horror.

This is 2024, not 1824.

Who cares?

I think you are the one with the problem. None of these people have done anything wrong, do they need to declare their whole family history to you?

I'm sorry... what?