To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

[MargaretBrewer]

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

Yes, I know people from older generations (judges, surgeons etc) who took elocution lessons to hide their background. I am not sure that makes them liars though.

I do agree that the people who are most obsessed with whether or not something is middle class tend to be very recently middle class.

People who have been middle class for generations just tend to do what they like/enjoy.

I can always guess who is quite recently middle class because they will be frantically trying to tick all the "middle class" boxes in every area of life

Have you heard of the concept of social mobility?

What I find more irritating are the career 'working class' who make a living out of being 'working class made good' types like 'My grandmother was a little match girl' Owen Jones and to an extent, Caitlin Moran when their families are solidly middle class but either made bad decisions or are completely ignored in favour of some relatives from the 18th century who lived n a workhouse.

Yes, that's what I mean exactly! The more I notice, the more obvious it is that things are not always as they seem!

Why is it so important to you about people's backgrounds?

It works in the other direction as well, for example , I give you Guy Ritchie and his early works.

OP, are you familiar with the concept of Code Switching?

I'd change my name for that too.

I really don't understand your post. Are you saying class is inherited?
I probably am considered middle class. I live in a middle class area, I own my house, I enjoy theatre and the arts activities people consider middle class and, I have a degree and had a job people would consider middle class.
But I was born in a council house and had a fairly poor upbringing.My dad was a steelworker!
I don't pretend otherwise and am not acting. I am what I am.

Sorry, you what?

😂😂

These are all random people. Have you considered that your post is really about yourself and your own insecurities or values?

That's what I'm getting at!

OP I'm going to hope you wrote this as a deliberate wind-up for your sake, as you come across as so judgmental and petty-minded in your post. Wow.

My most generous interpretation of your words is that perhaps you might be trying to make the point that people who are snobbish and rude and look down on others when they came from non-posh backgrounds themselves are being hypocrites. If that is your issue then I sort of get it a bit, but would argue that there's no excuse for snobby rude behaviour regardless. There are no 'middle class family credentials' that should give anyone a pass to think they're superior to others and can be rude to them at will.

If your annoyance is with the fact that you can't tell someone's family history from the way they speak, enabling some people to seem 'middle class' when their parents were not, I can't imagine why this is an issue. We have social mobility in our society (albeit not enough) and people who aspire to do different things from their parents or to give their children different opportunities to their own. More stereotypically middle class accents, bearings etc are still in some ways symbolic of power and status in society and are things that some people learn, emulate or acquire by accident or on purpose as they move classes. (I don't think that's necessary a good thing and am glad that a plummy voice is less and less expected of people in high status professional jobs than it used to be, incidentally). All class and status symbols are performative to a great extent. There's a reason that hundreds of years ago there were even laws passed in this country to try to stop people born as peasants who became wealthy from buying fancy clothes - there was a desire to 'keep them in their place' and keep society fixed as a rigid hierarchy (and even in medieval times this totally failed because, humans being humans, we don't want to be bound by what someone else tells us we should be).

And regardless... none of the jobs you mention have anything wrong with them. I can't believe I'd even have to state this but a steelworker is not automatically a worse, or less intelligent, or less worthy, or less valuable, person than a doctor. Obviously.

I still don't get why the issue you've described matters to you!

What a horrible post. You must be a horrible person tbh. Imagine looking down on someone because they've achieved well in life.

My children are from 'broken' homes. Their father was the youngest of 6 off a council estate. We were so poor when he buggered off we had nowt. They've all done very well, have beautiful homes, and very successful relationships and lives. Should they not have done this?

PS one may well save your life one day, as he's not allowed to judge.

Assuming the post is real. Why do you care about what you think other peoples class is?

I'm approaching 50 and have never given class a second thought in this way.

What a rude and offensive OP! The vast majority of the population are middle class. People are under no obligation to talk about their parents jobs.

What pear-clutching HORROR! The audacity!

@MargaretBrewer

Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

Of course it can. Most people do this to some degree to move in different environments. You can’t speak to your boss the way you would speak to your friends.

My partner is from Northern Ireland and when he first arrived in London he said most of the people he met couldn’t understand him. His accent has naturally modified itself over time to allow him to be understood by his peers here.

Its not necessarily “performance”. It’s just blending in and it’s an absolutely natural human trait.

Imagine a poor child going to a public school. Their speech is bound to change over time to allow them to be accepted. What would you suggest they do, resolutely stick to an accent which marks them out?

Its normal adaptation.

Have you ever considered that their so called snobbery is derived from the fact that they have become successful despite their 'unglamorous' backgrounds? I would find your 'friends' far more impressive than those who were handed down the success of others.

Also, I find that these types of people tend to be far more interesting and down to earth than your typical middle class person. They tend to look down on others less.

.. They are clearly very intelligent people being able to rise through the ranks, so to speak.

Steel?!!! *faints

OP you should take this as a wake up call and stop making assumptions about people based on appearance and a snapshot of behaviours, which is pretty vile behaviour.

You sound a bit jealous bitter and suspicious. Not a good look.

Just because a family has improved financially through generations it doesnt make them liars and actors.

No one has to broadcast their background to you. I have relatives who have done well financially and some not so well, they mix in their different social circles and professions of like minded people. Some have managed better houses, cars, clothes, education for their children because they can afford it. Some are just about getting by.

They are all genuine, not liars or actors. Just different circumstances.They have all originated from the same grandparents.

Would you judge a homeless drug addict in the same way if you discovered they had rich parents/grandparents living in a mansion? Would you class them as liars and actors too? Why are they acting so poor if they come from money?!

It's awful, isn't it? You could be talking to someone and assuming they're an equal and then you find out they're actually WORKING CLASS. They ought to be horse-whipped, the lying bastards.

Haha, genuinely laughed at this.

This is going to shock you OP but my grandad was a plasterer and I went to private school.