To let my DD be a tomboy in this society

[CowboyJoanna]

My youngest DD is 6 years old and she is a massive tomboy. And when I say a tomboy, I don't just mean she prefers cars to dolls, or prefers trousers to skirts. She hates anything and everything even remotely girly.
Her interests include star wars, cars, football. All her friends at school are boys and she even gets invited to 'boys only' birthday parties. Her teacher has told me in school reports that she is 'one of the boys'.
Everytime we go to clothes shops she runs straight over to the boys section, even insists on wearing the boys school uniforms and has thrown massive tantrums whenever I've even tried to pick out packs of 'girls school shirts' even though theyre her size and only difference is they button the other way.
She has her hair cut very short close to her scalp, and even though she has a feminine name we call her a similar-sounding nickname more associated with boys for short. If you were to look at her, you would have no reason to expect shes a girl. Shopkeepers have even called her 'mate' or 'good lad', and though DD doesnt bat an eyelid it does make me worry.

It happened again yesterday when I took DD to the dentist, and the receptionist said to her 'youre getting a big boy arent you?'. And it got me thinking given that schools will start teaching her about how you can change your gender, i worry that my DD will be vulnerable and start thinking that shes a boy. Especially with everyone already mistaking her for one. But at the same time, thats how she likes to dress, likes to play and how she likes her hair, and she likes her 'boyish' nickname i dont want to stop her from being herself. Shes a very happy, confident, strongwilled little girl.

But what do i do for her long term happiness?

If you think wikipedia is a vast anti-gender-critical conspiracy, you can start here.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/evidence-undermines-rapid-onset-gender-dysphoria-claims/

"Scientific American"?!?? The site that says there are THREE SEXES? That pseudoscience 'site'? That is not respected by any serious scientist?

What next will you use as a source? Pink News? ffs!

I was a massive Tom boy at that age. Hated dolls, hated skirts dresses. Would prefer jeans and trousers. Loved Star Wars, football, GI Joe, army games, car games. Had my hair short, preferred boys company as I found girls hard work.
This carried on until I was about 13 and by the time I was 16, I lived in dresses and sandals or heel. 20’s I was clubbing in short skirts or shorts
let her be what she wants to be

FWIW yes I realise a couple of scientists were forced to retract their findings due to enormous ideological pressure. However many individual Psychologists and Doctors on social media and elsewhere have confirmed it is indeed a Social Contagion and the validity of ROGD.

OP I’m really sorry the trans activists found this thread and are attacking you.

Children are not born wrong. It’s fucking disgusting that they are on this site promoting their agenda that harms children.

Your concerns are understandable and valid. There has been some good advice amongst the activism.

Here is a full break down of the issues with the single paper which suggests this hypothesis

Now provide any other evidence for this at all other than a single paper which relied on a self-selecting survey of parents, on three anti-trans websites.

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0214157

Here is a paper which does actual research which found no trace of the phenomenon. Being trans is no more a social contagion than being gay.

www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476(21)01085-4/fulltext

As I said, I realise a couple of scientists were forced to retract their findings due to enormous ideological pressure. However many individual Psychologists and Doctors on social media and elsewhere have confirmed it is indeed a Social Contagion and the validity of ROGD.

And those three sites were not 'anti trans'.

Give me single research paper in a reputable journal which supports RODG, and if you think it's all a massive pro-trans conspiracy that such a thing does not exist, I've got a bridge to sell you.

The best thing is to ensure for dc who have a broader range of likes and clothing is to keep them from the harms of gender ideology.

It's a huge shame adults push their agenda on this. But it is fine to have different likes and wear whatever when you're six. Trousers, skirts, colours etc

Last link:

states; "among those assigned female at birth"

Straight up you know this is an ideological cult-talking point and not indicative of a non-biased report. I didn't bother to read further, naturally, as soon as I read that red flag.

Secondly, at the top of the page where it lists the contributors it has this; "Trans Youth CAN! Research Team∗"

Yeah, nah.....

This is what the RODG's paper's author had to say about it.

"This report did not collect data from the adolescents and young adults or clinicians and therefore does not validate the phenomenon"

The only other article was so bad (asking parents again) it has been retracted.

It is not rapid-onset gender dysphoria,it’s rapid-onset parental discovery.

Honestly though how would you know it's a girl other than by the clothes?

My children both wear board shorts and usually (but not always) a rash vest...add a swim hat and they're basically homogeneous. Couldn't tell if they were male, female or somewhere in between!

This reminded me of this advert from years ago

hit me right in the feels!

I would speak to her teachers and ask if gender ideology is taught at school, I would express your concerns, bring their attention to the latest educational guidelines stating that teaching must be evidence based and not teach that people can be born in the wrong body and if you see any school behaviours that reinfirce stereotypes, drawn their attention to it.

Keep reminding here that there are very few things that girls or women cannot do.

Maybe find her an out of school activity that she enjoys.. my daughter enjoyed mixed hockey for a while, until the boys wouldn't pass to the girls, then girls football.. lots of people like her there. We have also hung out with our neighbours kids together as a family, 4 boys and DD.... lots of weekend activities where she holds her own and gender is not an issue.

At secondary school, it is a bit more of a challenge because her friends don't have the same interests... but she has found common ground.

With kids who haven't reached puberty you can't generally tell their sex unless you hone in on their genitals. (Even when some kids adults have reached puberty you still can't tell.)

It is actually perfectly normal to get the best quality clothes and shoes for your money from the opposite sex labelled section if they fit your child and they like the designs. In many cases they sell the same pattern but with different designs. So my DD's swimming stuff is from the boys section but it's a long sleeved all in one and the ones in the girls section have different patterns.

My DD and other kids I know have been called the opposite sex due to the clothes they wear and their hair.

When I asked my DD, 6, did she mind being called a boy she said she didn't care.

It helps she has had carers and reception teachers of both sexes. She seen adults of both sexes - cook, clean, do DIY, do car/bike maintenance, etc since she can remember. I took my car in for a service once and mechanic was a woman who she met. She seen both mens and women's football in real life plus rugby and cricket on the telly.

What? Did you read the OP? The OP isn’t trying to make her into ‘girly’ things or change the way she is…she’s not being closed minded. She’s just worried (rightly so) that sooner or later her DD is going to be told she can ‘change into’ a boy and become a boy if she wants, when this obviously isn’t true. Her DD is vulnerable to this.

yes love this!!

We had some building work done recently by a company of female builders, have a rather topsy turvy household in terms of gender stereotypes and I really love that my oldest is questioning why the clothes in shops are separated like boys can't like rainbows and girls don't wear trucks. When you're an adult and changed shape fair enough but as a kid...well, they had a good point! I've stopped heading to the appropriate section for each kid now, I just let them choose the stuff they like!

That’s really great - reminds me of the Secret Life of Four Year Olds on Channel 4 - they had a lot of stuff like this.

It's a good message. But I still wouldn't let them anywhere near adults who push gender ideology.

Girls are girls no matter how they run, they cannot become boys and vice versa.

Football is for girls now.
Come out the dark ages lol.

In the 1970s, I was like your daughter, I was indulged to a point. I played out with the boys, football, cowboys and indians, and soldiers and wore clothes that could be either. sex. It was probably easier as blue/ pink hadn't really got started orange/brown instead
I hated wearing skirts and wanted to wear grey school shorts but wasn't allowed.
I played male parts in make-believe games. My girl cousins would be the girly parts, I was with the boys.
I did have a shopper type bike. My poor brother had to have one too. Think they knew I would object if he had a boys bike and I was more into cycling than he was.
I'm still more 'boyish' even now. My hobbies are more traditionally male orientated. I'm often taken for being 'butch lesbian', but I'm a straight, married mother of 3.
I was recently invited to an 80s fancy dress, I immediately googled 80s male looks for inspiration.
I have short boyish hair going grey

I despair at all the trans stuff.
Although 70s and 80s had plenty of gender challenging stuff going on. Lola by the Kinks anyone?

Oh wow you're still talking.

My NDN DD is the same. We've been neighbours since our kids were 3 and are now both 20!

She tried summer dresses in year 5 as I think she felt she should try to do girly stuff.

But it's not her. She prefers men's (boys) shirts and shirts. As I have a ds she's always had first sides in the clothes he's outgrown as he's been taller than her since they were about 13.

She doesn't want to present as male, use male pronouns etc she just has her style. And she's an absolute diamond and so polite and kind.

That’s not the point. When she started playing no girls played, I struggled to find a girls team for her, she wasn’t allowed to play on the boys team at school and there were no other girls we came across who wanted to play. Thank goodness that has changed but 15 years ago the girls just weren’t playing

Have you just made that up?