To let my DD be a tomboy in this society

[CowboyJoanna]

My youngest DD is 6 years old and she is a massive tomboy. And when I say a tomboy, I don't just mean she prefers cars to dolls, or prefers trousers to skirts. She hates anything and everything even remotely girly.
Her interests include star wars, cars, football. All her friends at school are boys and she even gets invited to 'boys only' birthday parties. Her teacher has told me in school reports that she is 'one of the boys'.
Everytime we go to clothes shops she runs straight over to the boys section, even insists on wearing the boys school uniforms and has thrown massive tantrums whenever I've even tried to pick out packs of 'girls school shirts' even though theyre her size and only difference is they button the other way.
She has her hair cut very short close to her scalp, and even though she has a feminine name we call her a similar-sounding nickname more associated with boys for short. If you were to look at her, you would have no reason to expect shes a girl. Shopkeepers have even called her 'mate' or 'good lad', and though DD doesnt bat an eyelid it does make me worry.

It happened again yesterday when I took DD to the dentist, and the receptionist said to her 'youre getting a big boy arent you?'. And it got me thinking given that schools will start teaching her about how you can change your gender, i worry that my DD will be vulnerable and start thinking that shes a boy. Especially with everyone already mistaking her for one. But at the same time, thats how she likes to dress, likes to play and how she likes her hair, and she likes her 'boyish' nickname i dont want to stop her from being herself. Shes a very happy, confident, strongwilled little girl.

But what do i do for her long term happiness?

Schools don’t pressure young chn about gender! I work in primary with this age group in particular. All chn can play and learn equally. All sports are available to all chn regardless of gender.

Why are some things to do with girls in any case?

There's no reason a girl has to like certain things

Also I think people are being harsh to the OP. I never made a fuss about anything being a girls vs boys thing, always selected a mix of clothes from both sections in shops, always had a wide selection of toys and always let kids pick what they wanted without any fuss. It doesn’t stop them absorbing the idea some things are for boys and some things are for girls via way clothes are arranged in shops, what other kids were doing/saying, what they see on TV, read in books etc.
Plenty of things are treated as gendered as a matter of course regardless of how stupid you might personally find that and so I think it’s best to acknowledge that and point out it’s silly vs pretending it doesn’t happen.

Exactly the same her with my 7 year old DD. Including the 'boy' comments

I have to admit I'm fucking proud when she states that girls clothes are uncomfortable and she prefers boys ones

Also, Barbie et al are pathetic and not as much fun as biking or climbing tress

It's true!

She’s 6. Where is she getting “sissy” from?

Some schools definitely are.

My eldest is in high school and she's surrounded by gender ideology, her friends are part of the 'nonbinary' subculture and shes completely unfazed by it.

DS10 is in Year 6 but last year in school he told me about learning about the "genderbread man", we all laughed about it with the kids but it did really anger me and I don't want DD9 to be learning this crap this year.

Trans people have been around for centuries, it is not a new thing despite what a handful of people seem to think.

Just let your daughter be the way she is, there is nothing wrong with the things she likes.

Secondary is more tricky but she’s not there yet.

I'm not saying a girl has to like anything. I'm wondering why she has such a deep aversion to anything considered feminine.

This! My god I can’t believe how closed minded you are. That’s what will damage her. Let her be who she wants to be

Probably some of the other boys in school. Ive told her its not a nice thing to say but she says it even more

Why do any of those things make her a "tomboy"? Who decided en masse that the interests she has are for boys only?
Let her enjoy what she enjoys, help develop her confidence in her own body, but most of all stop reinforcing the idea that the interests and preferences she has somehow makes her less female than her peers.

Where is she learning this from.

My dd is the only girl on the football team, shes the only girl in her boxing class, she isn't into squishmallows and dresses and either, but she doesn't think she's better than anyone else. Nor does she name call people about their interests.

That's the issue here, not her interests.

There’s nothing you can do OP, she likes what she likes. The alternative is you forcing her to wear things she doesn’t want to, forcing her to behave in a way you deem okay, forcing her to play with/watch things that you deem “girly”, and have a daughter who grows up to hate and resent you. She is who she is, you can either support her and have a daughter who loves you and knows you are on her side always, or you fight her and end up with a daughter who hates you and knows she has to hide parts of herself to be accepted by you. I know what I’d rather.

Probably not! Why does there have to be a reason? She probably just likes what she likes!
I was also a 'tomboy' hated anything girly, also as PP have said wanted to be George from the famous five. Lived in jeans and shorts (still do). My DM once made me wear a dress for photo day (9yrs old) and seceral of my teachers actually commented thatvtheybdidbt know I had legs!

Never had long hair, only dress I own is my wedding dress, no skirts. Don't do clothes shopping, hate shoe shopping, make up, handbags but I am very much female and love my DH. it's just my 'make up!

I had a friend like this at school.
She just wasnt girly like me but we got on so well still do.
She`s married now with kids of her own still not girly.
Just the way she is nothing wrong with it.

Funny how we've never even heard of them until the last five years ago or so...

There are 70 billion+ people in this world who are individuals. Let her be herself without putting her in a box.

Because there might be a reason. For example, I hated anything to do with girls because I was socialised to see anything feminine as weak and inferior.

It's unusual for a child to completely reject anything to do with their sex, down to shirts because they button a different way. Seems a bit extreme.

Just let her be, Seems to me you are the one making a big deal out of it.

I'd correct the 'girls' stereotypes with clarification eg 'girls don't like football' - No, the other girls in your class don't like football. Lots of girls do!!!

'I don't like girls' - No, you just don't like the girls you've met. There's awesome girls out there

Girls things are sissy - no they're not they're just things! Why are fairies sissy? They're awesome magical creatures that can fly that sounds cool to me.

Oh give over. Go and do some research before you make yourself look really stupid with this alarmist bollocks.

@CowboyJoanna Are teachers at your daughter's school telling the kids they can change sex as and when they want to?

I thought like this too at that age. Learning about the suffragettes was what cured me of it I think.

I understand your concerns and it's awful that we have to think like this these days.

But, very simply, she is a girl and there are no right or wrong ways to be a girl. Model that thought for her. She sounds wonderful, encourage her in everything she loves to do. ❤️