To let my DD be a tomboy in this society

[CowboyJoanna]

My youngest DD is 6 years old and she is a massive tomboy. And when I say a tomboy, I don't just mean she prefers cars to dolls, or prefers trousers to skirts. She hates anything and everything even remotely girly.
Her interests include star wars, cars, football. All her friends at school are boys and she even gets invited to 'boys only' birthday parties. Her teacher has told me in school reports that she is 'one of the boys'.
Everytime we go to clothes shops she runs straight over to the boys section, even insists on wearing the boys school uniforms and has thrown massive tantrums whenever I've even tried to pick out packs of 'girls school shirts' even though theyre her size and only difference is they button the other way.
She has her hair cut very short close to her scalp, and even though she has a feminine name we call her a similar-sounding nickname more associated with boys for short. If you were to look at her, you would have no reason to expect shes a girl. Shopkeepers have even called her 'mate' or 'good lad', and though DD doesnt bat an eyelid it does make me worry.

It happened again yesterday when I took DD to the dentist, and the receptionist said to her 'youre getting a big boy arent you?'. And it got me thinking given that schools will start teaching her about how you can change your gender, i worry that my DD will be vulnerable and start thinking that shes a boy. Especially with everyone already mistaking her for one. But at the same time, thats how she likes to dress, likes to play and how she likes her hair, and she likes her 'boyish' nickname i dont want to stop her from being herself. Shes a very happy, confident, strongwilled little girl.

But what do i do for her long term happiness?

🤣 why is it more unsuitable for a 6 or 8yo girl to be in shorts than a 6 or 8yo boy? In fact how would they even know at that age?

What's the safeguarding concern exactly?

Thats a very good idea. I don't have the energy to argue I just wanted advice.
I was expecting much better from this website.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

Have you been living under a rock re the massive spike in teenage girls identifying as boys, and the ‘born in the wrong body’ rhetoric being promoted in schools? Girls that would previously have just been tomboys have been encouraged to question whether they are actually boys. Which is obviously ridiculously sexist if nothing else.

Yes she is.

Her daughter isn't a 'Tomboy'.

She's a girl who likes things that are typically associated with boys, that's all.

Tomboy is a stupid expression that belongs firmly in the past.

I agree with this. My dd is one that has been caught up in the whole ‘trans’ thing 🙁. It’s talked about way too much in schools, primary age children should not be told about ‘changing gender’, being a Tom boy and living in the wrong body are town very different things.

I was expecting much better from this website

What were you expecting from this thread that's been done a million times before then?

Girl likes 'boyish' stuff just as many girls have done for centuries.

Big whoop.

Give it 2 or 3 years and she may or may not be obsessed with Barbie dolls and makeup 🤷‍♂️

You need to dial down the drama.

Things which boys typically do are not "boy's things."

Doing "boy's things" doesn't make you a boy.

Doing "boy's things" doesn't mean social contagion and teachers jumping on her to "trans" her. This line is from the idiots who think Harry Potter fan fiction can turn you trans. Even "I want to be a boy" is not the same as "I am a boy."

She will know if she "is" a boy, which is very different to wanting to do "boy things".

However you dress her or change her behaviour will make no difference as to whether she's cisgender or transgender.

I was 12 when one of my older sisters talked about a transwoman who applied for a job as a secretary at a company she was working at. I am now in my late 40s.

Basically you have had a sheltered upbringing.

She will know if she "is" a boy, which is very different to wanting to do "boy things".

How will she know that?

You've never heard of Quentin Crisp?

I was born in the '50's and knew about "cross dressers" as they were called in my youth.

The only difference now is the claim by some that one can change Sex - which is impossible.

No, it really isn't. The only "study" on social contagion was an internet poll on an anti-trans website. There are more trans kids coming out for the same reason there was a startling increase in left handedness - acceptance.

The paper initially proposing the concept was based on surveys of parents of transgender youth recruited from three anti-trans websites; following its publication, it was re-reviewed and a correction was issued highlighting that ROGD is not a clinically validated phenomenon.

Many doctors and psychologists, independent of any sites (none of which were 'anti-trans') have pointed out that it is a social contagion. 6000 (six thousand) percent increase in children claiming to be trans. There is no way you can deny this. It is a real phenomenon no matter how desperate you are to deny this.

My DS who is 5. Absolutely loves the colour purple, loves rainbows and has a pair of pink, purple and yellow crocs. Wears "girly" colours such as pink/purple tshirts. Has a pair of rainbow colour glitter sunglasses. He's also very much in to cars, motorbikes, all things mud, sand and nitty gritty bug hunting. He also has blonde curly locks.

He's 5. He's happy. He's thriving. I will let nobody tell me or him, that wearing/playing or anything of the sort, is not what boys do or should do/wear/play with. Just let kids be kids. If they're happy.. then that's the most important thing surely?! This is no age for this bollocks.

She will know if she "is" a boy

This part isn't possible

Depends on the pool. Dd had to wear a costume not just bottoms from starting swimming lessons

Men with a sexual fetish have been around for centuries. Women and children being 'trans' - no - there were no 'trans children' when my Mum and I were growing up. It has been invented in the 2000s as a cover for the men.

No, they have not. I mean - do some basic research. You can start on wikipedia as a 101.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapid-onset_gender_dysphoria_controversy

You're just embarrassing yourself now.

Er, Wikipedia is not a reliable source. Anyone knows this as base common sense 101. There is a reason universities do not accept it as a source.

Also it is Meninist captured and very anti-women. I wouldn't trust it to tell me the year we're in. It's actually laughable you genuinely proffered it as an actual serious source.

I don't think reading comprehension is their strong point 😸

You're the one that is embarrassing yourself.

I think you are referring to yourself there.

You could be describing my daughter. She is now 17. Still dresses and looks like a boy. But she is very happy to be female. I think in some (not all) cases older children assume they are trans gender because they hate their gender stereotypes but are forced into them by parents.

Just let her be herself. There was a child in my DD’s class just like your DD, she’s 16 now and hasn’t changed gender but is a lesbian. It was obvious from a young age, same with my eldest son (though not as obvious to outsiders but I knew from age 5-7 ish) who is gay. I never tried to change him in anyway.