Would you have children if you knew they may never move out?

[bubblemaze]

I know times have changed a lot lately and parents who had children who are now young adults are finding that those children have reached adulthood but aren't able to fly the nest so are staying in the parents home.
We don't know how society will be in 25 years.

What do you imagine for the future generations? Are people thinking about starting a family looking at permanently being financially responsible for their children, a lot of parents say they wouldn't charge their adult children to live in their own home but could be living with them for the rest of their lives?

I'm trying to imagine what having a family will look like for our generation.

I mean it’s not ideal, but it’s always a risk. I assume my kids will be with us for a while, especially as one has additional needs. I wanted children more than anything so for me, yes.

In lots of cultures it’s common anyway

We’ve got a big house I would actually love it if they didn’t move out but know they will!

Yes, I would still have children if I thought they would live at home for the rest of my life. Just what @Newsenmum said, multigenerational living is common worldwide.

Unlike many mumsnet women who seem to feel sad and tearful when children leave nursery, primary, secondary etc, I’ve always been pretty positive about those stages.

i adore my dc, and I adore my life- both the elements we do together and the parts of my life that are mine alone.

hard to answer whether I would not have them if it meant never moving out… but possibly I wouldn’t. I both enjoy this stage of my life and am looking forward to the next stages without the children in my house, without the same daily care requirements.

Yes, I would have. I firmly believe in multi generational living and having a pretty much open house for my adult children, their partners and their friends.

Mine will always have a home where I live, whether they live elsewhere or not. So, for me, it would be fine. I suspect one is unlikely to move out anyway due to additional needs.

Yep. I fully expect both my kids to be here with us until they're late 20s/early 30s as a minimum. The housing market is abysmal and it probably won't get any easier. I'll do what I can to get them set up in their own places but there won't be any pressure. Even though they drive me potty at the moment (they're 6 and 18 months), they'll always be my kids and it'll always be my job to look after them

A friend of mine lives at home with her parents. They will stay with her older brother (he's now the head of the house), his wife, their baby and any future children until they die. My friend will go and live with her husband's parents if he is the eldest boy in their family. It's part of their culture. A lot of countries already do multigenerational living, it wouldn't surprise me if we ended up having to do the same

I look likely to be in this sitution with at least one of my DC. I think I would still have had them but made different housing decisions, and may have to move out of London ( which I will hate). Currently we are very cramped.

I come from a culture where multigenerational living is common, but I should point out that in those cultures, kids take care of their parents. By which I mean, do everything for them from changing adult diapers to cooking for them and taking them to the doctors. I think most people who praise other cultures have never actually lived like other cultures.

@ChannelyourinnerElsa , but people don't have the same daily care requirements as adults. My late teen DC are generally lovely to have around, pitch in, good fun and generous natured. It is no hardship having them here and I can't imagine that changing significantly.

I don't believe in multigenerational living btw, because it usually means women end up doing even more work. As happens in most cultures that encourage it.

Mine can stay as long as they want. We have plenty of room so it wouldn't be a problem.

@Lentilweaver I don't think that is that unusual tbh. I don't live with my own very elderly parents but have done all those things plus others in times of illness when visiting to look after one of them.

I would simply ensure a bigger home, multigenerational living was common in my grandmothers time. More land so each child could have their own 1/4 acre.
Somewhere along the way we would have figured something out.
My 3 all own homes, and are planning on helping their children.

Yes, because my child was a contraception failure. She was going to turn up whether we liked it or not. I think thats the case for a good 50% of kids (first kids at least!)

Yes, but I didn't really think much past them being babies and primary schoolers. Oops!

I assume my youngest won't move out.

Or at least not until 30/in a LTR.

I won't do laundry for an over 18 though.

I do think it is unusual because I see many posts here by women complaining ( quite rightly) that eldercare is very difficult. If it wasn't, nobody would ever have to go into a home.

I'd hate for my kids to be paying £1k+ per month in rent in a shared house when they could live at home and save most of that

... for a deposit on their own places

Interested to hear from parents in London or the SE.

I have one who is unlikely to ever live independently. He's 14 now and although I am worried what happens after his dad and I die I love the idea of always having him with us. He's such terrific company and along with his younger brother there are no other people I want to spend time with as much as I do him and DH and DS2.

I like the idea of multi generational living though. We briefly had my FIl stay with us for around 6 months before he passed due to his illnesses and needs and I loved it. Just having us all under the same roof.

If you are going to bring a whole new person into the world, you should at least be willing to live in their company.

For ever?😨

Yes I would. DD has mild SEN so is likely to be here for a fair bit anyway. Yes of course part of me longs for her to be independent and fly the nest but I love her and love having her here.