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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

335 replies

LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 20:16

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

OP posts:
Jennyathemall · 27/08/2024 20:17

Ah bless you

Celticliving · 27/08/2024 20:18

I think your comment was unnecessary at best. Why do you have an issue with a woman's body? It's not like she was naked.

Winrus · 27/08/2024 20:20

Yabu because it’s none of your business what she does. It doesn’t really take a genuine to figure out why she’s doing this does it? Just move on if you don’t like it.

LemonyCoughSyrup · 27/08/2024 20:20

So many do it, so might feel like you are picking on this particular women. It’s currently a trend and will pass. I don’t mind seeing women in their underwear. Doesn’t cause any offence imo

sugarbyebye · 27/08/2024 20:20

It's just attention seeking. This is the internet now.

Pantaloons99 · 27/08/2024 20:20

I'm having this same dialogue in my head alot these days. Just put some clothes on for the love of god.
I'm a chilled, reformed wild child so by no means a prude but this stuff is becoming insane. The social media Tiktok half naked air head explosion is just infuriating me. I don't know why I get so bothered. It's not jealousy at all - I think it's more feeling so separate from society when so many are just absolute brain dead zombies flashing their everything for likes.

So that was a rant 🤣.I try avoid comments on these things as rarely goes down well and no one wants to feel they're being preached at.

But yes you're right! I don't know why people don't think about the impact this may have down the line on family, parents, future kids.

Mum2jenny · 27/08/2024 20:21

A very good reason to not buy said jumpsuit imo.

persisted · 27/08/2024 20:21

Unnecessary skin on show on the internet? Who knew?

I think that ship has sailed....

KreedKafer · 27/08/2024 20:22

Christ, how incredibly patronising of you.

Why the hell shouldn’t they be in their bra and knickers, if they’re comfortable with it? It’s their body, and none of your business whether they choose to show it. They’re just in bra and knickers. It’s no different from anything you’d see on a beach or in a catalogue. Good on them for not being self-conscious or ashamed of their body, I say.

Doggymummar · 27/08/2024 20:22

Isn't it called get dressed with me? So they start off in underwear?

BippityBopper · 27/08/2024 20:22

Winrus · 27/08/2024 20:20

Yabu because it’s none of your business what she does. It doesn’t really take a genuine to figure out why she’s doing this does it? Just move on if you don’t like it.

When you post things on the internet it's everyone's business.

WeeOrcadian · 27/08/2024 20:23

If only there was a way you could scroll on past......

Everyoneesleistheproblem · 27/08/2024 20:23

I think it's helpful. You can see where the fat actually is and how well each item flatters.
I am always surprised how big bellies are on women that don't seem fat at all in clothes. I thought it was just me!

lazyarse123 · 27/08/2024 20:24

Yanbu. If we don't want judging on our bodies why keep displaying them?
I know women can wear what they like blah blah blah but it's so unnecessary.

TheNewSchmoo · 27/08/2024 20:24

If you start a comment with "Imnot being unkind but...", you know you are being unkind.

Pigeonqueen · 27/08/2024 20:25

You don’t need to comment if it’s something you don’t like. You can just scroll past (yes, the irony of my own comment isn’t lost on me here).

LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 20:26

Celticliving · 27/08/2024 20:18

I think your comment was unnecessary at best. Why do you have an issue with a woman's body? It's not like she was naked.

I don't have an issue with the woman's body. I just don't think it's necessary for me or anybody else to see her in her underwear.

There are kids on the app. Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?

I have a daughter and I'd be upset If she posted something like that.

I don't think it should be normalised. What next?

There's a reason changing rooms are enclosed.

There are many reasons for me and none of them are to do with her personally.

OP posts:
Yozzer87 · 27/08/2024 20:26

I don't see the point in you posting that. It's not going to make her stop doing it and it's not like she's the only one. I've seen much more over the top stuff on these kind of videos. If you don't like it just scroll past.

Irridescantshimmmer · 27/08/2024 20:27

Your comment was spot on and you have EVERY right to express your opinion.

I would have found that nauseating to be honest, and inappropriate.

Putting · 27/08/2024 20:27

There are kids on the app. Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?

No, their parents should be putting controls on / checking what they’re watching

Fromage · 27/08/2024 20:28

I think showing normal bodies (assuming she isn't a swimwear model) is a good thing. Makes those of us who aren't a perfect 10 feel a little less hideous, maybe?

There is also the option of blocking those whose content we dislike. No need for micro criticisms, unless our opinion is asked for.

Garlicfest · 27/08/2024 20:28

For god's sake don't look at any Dove skincare ads. Or the lingerie sections of any clothing retailers. Or the beachwear sections. Or people on beaches, or at swimming pools. In fact, it might be best if you don't look at any media that might contain images of humans. Limit yourself to looking at people outdoors in a cool climate, you'll feel much happier.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 27/08/2024 20:28

I agree OP it's a bit much, but surely you realise that most young women on the internet these days get their kit off. It's basically a surefire way of getting attention.

Dotto · 27/08/2024 20:28

They do it in their bra & pants deliberately to get more followers and make more money

yesmen · 27/08/2024 20:28

Winrus · 27/08/2024 20:20

Yabu because it’s none of your business what she does. It doesn’t really take a genuine to figure out why she’s doing this does it? Just move on if you don’t like it.

Why is “it’s none of your business” such a standard answer ?

The TikTok poster uploads video of her herself in her bra and knickers. It is the equivalent of walking through town in your bra and knickers.

As such, it is our business.

if I click to see a jump suit I have not agreed to look at underwear.

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