Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

[LivingInStrangeTimes]

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

Your last paragraph made me laugh, @Pantaloons99 But I'm a bit worried by seeing a woman walk down beach in a bikini with a fab body. I've got a crap body. When I finally get to a beach, should I keep my big, baggy dress on, being unqualified to walk in a bikini?

I haven't seen the TikTok either, but these trying-on videos usually entail changing outfits while wearing normal undies. They're not writhing 'provocatively' in scratchy red lace and suspenders. Just getting changed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ok so one of the reasons is because viewers often accuse women who do 'try on' videos of wearing shapeware secretly and thus not actually showing a true reflection of the garment. This is particularly true in review style tiktoks as there is thd understandable suspicion that the brands are paying the influencers for the reviews. Hence, women start out in just underwear and then try on the garment in one single shot to head off that accusation.

I can't get wound up about this tbh. Kids see at least as much on the beach.

Any sentence that starts with 'I'm not being able unkind' would give me the hump right away.

My thoughts on this are layered.

1- You don’t see the men partly because there are less, partly because of your individual algorithm and partly because many of these women are on a mission to show different female body shapes.

2- Does my head in, as does all this GRWM, but I’m a miserable Gen Xer so I kinda just assume it’s not for me.

3- I wouldn’t listen to anyone who told me how I should conduct myself in my own virtual space, so neither should I dictate to others.

Overall I think social media would be a better place if we all just scrolled on by and only said the nice stuff we’re thinking.

And a 13 year old child seeing a woman in knickers is fine.

The ones I report EVERY time are the OF women using fake babies to get their boobs out. Grim.

I hardly think a woman choosing to show herself in her underwear before trying something on is comparable to the things you just listed @yesmen If she was coerced or forced into filming herself in her underwear that would already be illegal but there’s no suggestion here that this was the case.

To be fair, my brother made enthusiastic use of the underwear section of my mum's catalogues 😂

🤢

I don’t get why you would want everyone to see you in your pants either. But her body her choice. But the internet world has gone slightly crazy in literally filming everything in some individuals lives. But maybe if over a certain age we don’t get it!

Oh and you do see men undressing in videos or redressing, while advertising things on social media. Also I recently just saw a pic of some attractive young police officer in America who was given some role at a school and all the ladies were sharing it and making comments about how they’d been naughty and needed to be arrested by him etc so much that it went viral.

Not every half naked female is about "sex" FFS.

Unless a woman is actively being sexual it matters not if she's naked, half naked or fully clothed.

I agree with PP; it allows you to see how flattering the garment is on a particular body shape.

If we all decided not to talk shite-which-did-not-need-to-be-said on the internet , Mumsnet would not exist

There’s a reason I’m not on TikTok.

I’m with you OP but I’ve seen how these types of threads go and having your opinion is extremely unpopular.

I saw a woman walking into town in the afternoon wearing lacy, mostly sheer, lingerie tucked into trousers. It’s her choice at the end of the day (or in this case, afternoon) what she wears but I don’t understand it at all.

Exactly. I was always told to ignore everything before a 'but'.

She wants to draw more followers to her tictok, and if she is making money from it more followers the better.

Im with you

I find the entire tik tok/insta influencer phenomenon sooo strange

They must spend hours getting dressed,
Filming it, editing, refilming, checking they look good. Prob checking for stray pubes and then filming again

And then people buy the crap they promote

It's a strange old world the internet

Oh well that's alright then, I'll just whip my kit off in the middle of the aisle next time I'm browsing clothes at sainsburys and strut about in my bra and pants.

What do you think would happen if I did that?

I'd be told to leave the shop.

Why?

As I said, there's a reason changing rooms are enclosed.

@Garlicfest I need to see this video to really say anything valid on this one. My mind is going to a place regards other videos I've seen so much of - possibly nothing like this.

I love seeing anyone on a beach enjoying the experience,dressed or naked, fat, thin, whatever. I don't even care if my son sees half naked ladies bouncing about on the beach if they so wish. Did it myself.

When I really challenge myself as to what it is that bothers me about it - I think honestly, it just makes me cringe seeing ladies grabbing attention all over the place online - and I can't escape it. I can't escape having to see it, I can't control the extent of it online and how normalised it is. I really dislike seeing women who are mums flashing the gash. Yes I'm mum shaming I'm sure. ( I appreciate this video I have not seen- I'm speaking in a wider context).

I can choose to go to the beach. We can choose to walk away. We can kind of escape it. It's not continually thrust in my face, in kids' faces.

The point the op made is not unreasonable and she would like a discussion.

In that context I do not agree with people telling her to walk on by, mind her own business (even though it is her business if it literally appears before her eyes), and the “it is legal” brigade (my list is only in response to them by the way)

She made a valid point. Many agree.

Why shut her down?

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

Directly to the poster? Yes, it’s unreasonable to say that. They are obviously comfortable with their body. They wouldn’t have uploaded the video otherwise. You were wasting your time.

A woman in underwear isn’t fucking weird and unnecessary. Do you squirm at women in bikinis? Do you find it weird walking round the lingerie sections in department stores seeing images of women in said underwear on marketing displays?

If a video like that makes you uncomfortable then just scroll past and don’t give it another thought. Commenting on it saying “You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment” is patronising and you know it.

Well done for missing the obvious point!
You cannot be so idiotic as to not get its about putting yourself on display for every passing predator and AI bot trawling for porn content.

Quite appart from the obvious attention seeking.

I totally support the comment it was kind sensible and protective.
I would have been less diplomatic.
And if you are going to exploit yourself for all the world to see, expect commentary.

The Internet love a good pile on, I struggle reading the room at times so I get it a fair amount, so I really don't comment on anything unless I want to chatter about it. Just in case I say something massively offensive whilst thinking I'm just being chatty and trying to be friendly. It can backfire massively, I think when you're a faceless name on a forum or something trying to be helpful and nice can seem insincere and condescending. I'm neither of those but I'm someone who is very much, "no strangers, only pals" and people don't want to be my friend, they just want cold hard facts during a discussion. So I'm trying hard nowadays to be less like a labrador 😂

Years ago in a group I was in selling second hand bags some woman was asking for more money than the bag was retailing for in the sales, more than 1 person wanted to buy the overpriced and (badly worn bag) so I linked the bag sale.
Now, I didn't realise at the time that I'd just committed a massive sin, I was trying to be helpful.
Even women wanting to buy the bag piled on me and told me to fuck off 😂
BTW I didn't mention the bag for sale was in shit condition, I literally linked the sale with an emoji or something else innocuous.
Fucking terrored I was 😂😂😂

I might have felt the same but I would never comment like that.

@AlwaysKindaKnewYoudBeTheDeathOfMe 🤣 blimmin hope not.

When 'Readers Wives' mag was all these kids had at their disposal, possibly the truth. 🤷‍♀️🤮🤣

I agree with you OP for the same reason as a PP stated, it isn't the nudity it is the fact that it is attention seeking. No need for it.