Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

[LivingInStrangeTimes]

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

All for clicks views sadly! Agree unnecessary - are they advertising the underwear as well?

Shout out to Evie who is feeling quite proud of herself today as she managed to find the ladys video and write in the comments about this thread.

I had no intention of 'outing' who it was but now you've brought more traffic to the site.

Perhaps she will sign up and comment. Let's see.

It’s borderline prostitution as they show themselves almost naked for money. As that is why they are doing it that way.

I wonder what they'll make of the comments on here and the divided opinions. I've been a nude model for life drawing classes since I went to college many years ago and even those who were surprised, even shocked, when they found out were very supportive about it. Totally different to a lot of the negative comments on this thread from people who presumably don't even know the woman in the video.

okay well you also sound like a very unkind and deeply unpleasant person

Nothing would happen, I regularly try tops on in the aisles if the changing rooms are busy or they don't have one.

This. If she was genuinely just showing the jumpsuit then she wouldn’t have started in her pants. To be clear, I don’t give two hoots if she wants to film herself in the nip, but it’s the pretending that I struggle with. Just film yourself in your pants and be proud of it, don’t use the excuse of displaying a jumpsuit 🤷🏼‍♀️

why is it any different from someone stood there in a swimsuit, gym clothes, or a bikini?

Its to show the body type before the clothes go on, to normalise the wobbles and curves.

Your comment was unecessary.

Whats the matter? worried your prudish, unnecessary comment might have upset the person.

Bad enough you felt the need to comment on her video, never mind bringing it here to shame her even further just because it's not what you like/agree with.

I think I was perfectly kind in my delivery when I commented on the video. People here have been much more blunt than I was, and now she'll be reading that and likely feel like shit about it.

That's not on me.

I said my bit on her video about her video. This thread is to discuss the current trend in general.

The blame for any upset incurred from her reading this thread lies solely with the little shit stirrer who told her about it.

It was a perfectly vague and non identifying thread about not just her video (because there are hundreds) but the broader issue itself, now she's going to know its not just me who thinks it's twattish, it's over 60% of people who've read the thread and some have been quite scathing.

You're very loud but the poll speaks for itself.

Off you pop.

x amount of women seem happy to display and monetise their bodies and appearance and I would hazard a guess that a greater number of women would rather they didn't in that way, but feel they shouldn't say so nowadays as it might be deemed "shaming" or "hating" or "disempowering" or some such. It's a conundrum but one I'm sure many men are happily reaping the monetary and other benefits of.

I agree - there’s loads of this going on online. I think they are just exhibitionists ! There is no need to start off in their underwear - in (just) my opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️

I disagree with the 'scroll on by' and 'don't say anything'

Why?

If someone has a problem with the way something is, or is done, why shouldn't they say?

At what point/situation are you allowed to say?

it's no more than you'd see at the swimming pool. exposed skin isn't automatically sexual.

It must have been identifying in some way though, given someone has...identified it and linked to the thread?

I don't have an issue with the woman's body. I just don't think it's necessary for me or anybody else to see her in her underwear.

She’s in underwear, no different than someone on a beach.

There are kids on the app. Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?

Should the parents of 13 year olds know what their children are viewing and maybe they would benefit from seeing the body of a non airbrushed perfect body. I’d rather they watched her getting dressed than undressed.
Talking to DH about this and he and his brother used to look at the lingerie section of their mum’s Freemans catalogue. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

I have a daughter and I'd be upset If she posted something like that.

Have a chat with your daughter then.

I don't think it should be normalised. What next?

It should be normalised, could you be more insulting. It’s a regular woman in underwear, it’s not abnormal, she’s just comfortable with her body.

There's a reason changing rooms are enclosed.

I remember communal changing rooms and they never bothered me.

There are many reasons for me and none of them are to do with her personally.

You might elaborate further on, I haven’t read everything. You did however make it personal to her when you commented about her on her post.

I think self-conscious is exactly what people who do this are. They’re self-consciously showing themselves in their underwear. I’m not judging whether they should or shouldn’t, but there’s nothing unself-conscious about it.

If you intended for your thread to be about the “general GRWM trend” as you are all of a sudden claiming then you would have discussed it without giving any details about one specific person and would have said people in general. You also would have fairly pointed out the fact that men are just as guilty for doing it as women. Your thread was “Was I being unreasonable to comment about this woman” with enough details to out yourself.

Don’t apportion blame to the wrong person, you’re culpable for this. The poll says you weren’t being unreasonable, but people’s actual comments show a different story entirely and I would absolutely say speaks for itself as it’s people who comment and put the effort in that shows real consensus instead of just clicking one button. The majority of the comments read that in 2024 misogyny and shame has no place amongst women towards women and no-one has the right to police other peoples bodies. Thankfully we have come a long way since views like yours were common place. So I would imagine that she will be feeling quite validated as there has been an enormous show of support for her choice to upload her video on this thread, whether you and some others agree with it or not. On the other hand, If she does feel bad then that’s wholeheartedly your fault.

The fact you’ve even created this thread in the first place, much less tried to blame someone else for drawing attention to your post and for you to talk to people in such a condescending fashion is frankly awful on your part. “Off you pop” really? I almost died of second-hand embarrassment for you ‘hun’. This might be your post but it’s a public forum and you also don’t get to decide when people should stop commenting because you don’t like the deserved backlash you’ve received. You appear to have a poor understanding of how the internet works in general but that’s how it works on Mumsnet.

You’re back tracking now you’ve been discovered but it’s not down to the “little shit stirrer”, it’s down to you for posting enough details for it to become identifiable. You can claim it was vague, unidentifiable blah, blah but it wasn’t vague enough and it was identifiable and therefore it has been. Those are the facts. That’s 100% on you and claiming otherwise won’t make it any less the truth. This is what’s known in real life as a consequence to your actions. Next time you want to be “twatty” on social media as you so aptly put it, at least have the courage to own it when you get caught up in the web of your own making. May this be a lesson to you. Don’t worry love, I’m popping off now and I won’t be back. I’m feeling pretty smug you’ve been shown up your poor behaviour. Laters.

Right!

I stopped reading at the first paragraph 😂

You're not very knowledgeable of the kind of things teenage boys wank about. I am surprised you think they DON'T wank over women in their 40s pulling up a pair of normal jeans, especially if they can see them in their underwear beforehand.

In fact there are very few things teenage boys don't wank about.

I understand where you are coming from and I agree with your observations. I personally feel concerned that different forms of absurd and dysfunctional behavior have become acceptable on social media because “everyone does it”. Social media is a trap, It taps into our most basic emotional needs (see the irony around calling it social media) and someone makes money out of them!
People must get undressed to get the likes or the followers so that they feel validated and some money can be made…go figure…

It’s attention seeking and wanting validation for being “brave” from strangers. I am depressed that normal women being in their underwear is promoted as some courageous act. It’s still a vapid obsession with appearance under the guise of empowerment. I couldn’t give a shit about what people think I look like in my underwear but I don’t need to show everyone to prove that. This behaviour is strange and people need to realise that.

Many of these girls/women are promoting themselves for the sites that they use for their income.

Sure you did. 😂