Alone on holiday

[RecoveringMillennial]

Feeling more upset about this than I usually do, so wondering if I’m overreacting. Please be kind.
On holiday with a group of friends (couples). Two of us overslept and missed dinner. Other hungry friend has food brought by DP. When I say I’m hungry later (10:30ish) DH says I’ll be fine to go and fetch something on my own. Only a 5/10 minute walk, but in a foreign country and late. I can’t explain how hurt I was by this and I can’t get over the lack of care or consideration. I also suspect he didn’t want to leave the bar.
He does have form for being selfish so I don’t know if this is worse or just the final straw.

Missing the point here but you overslept all day until dinner time?

If it’s a safe town full of tourists it’ll be fine

Were you looking for a snack in downtown Mogadishu?

I would be upset, too, and think it showed how little he thought of me. It's even harder when you are with couples who are considerate.

In which other ways is he selfish?

Maybe try Uber Eats? that's in many cities in the world.

Have you told your DH how you feel? It's the sort of thing, I think, that some men might not immediately understand but then when they have a wife telling them to step up they might change their mind and do the gentlemanly thing.

Thought this too 😕 🫤

It wouldn’t occur to me to want DH to go and get me food when it’s a 5 minute walk away. I would ask him to get the drinks in while I picked up something to eat.

I’d be more pissed off with the friend who could have picked up enough for two!

So ... you overslept and missed dinner (presumably your own fault) and now want someone else to get you food? Why can you not get your own food?

I don’t know. I have asked. He said he never thought

No, it was supposed to be a nap, but I woke up 4 hours later

I'm with DH!

He's had his dinner and is now having some drinks.

Your friend got some good but presumably you weren't hungry then and didn't join them.

You've now decided you're hungry and you want him to go out and get you food despite being something you could easily do yourself.

And you think he's unreasonable and selfish and not that you're a spoilt little princess?

I would just go and get some food , like I would if I was on holiday without DH. Why have you waited until 10:30 to decide you're hungry, when you woke up you knew you'd missed dinner. Does the bar not have bar snacks?

I this is a bit lame of you OP. You overslept and missed dinner which is reasonably antisocial in itself and now want your dh to prioritise getting you food over whatever he was enjoying doing for no particular reason. Hard work.

My dh would never expect me to go off wondering on my own in an unfamiliar country to find food. He'd come with me, if not for my safety, but to give me company. My dh would also have woken me up for dinner in the 1st place.

This is not anything to get upset about. Just have a sleep and some water and a good breakfast in the morning. Your DH has not done anything wrong. Start tomorrow afresh without any resentment.

Same

I was expecting mumsnet to be harsh but I would never let a friend go somewhere on their own at that time in our own city, let alone abroad. I’m genuinely shocked that so many people would.
I don’t usually sleep for so long so I was amazed when I woke and saw the time. Hotel had stopped service by that time. I didn’t expect him to go for me, but with me yes - in an unfamiliar place, late at night.

As an adult yourself OP I would expect you to be responsible for your own food? I think you're behaving a little spoilt. I'm just wondering - is your friend whose DH got her some food someone that you are envious of usually?
Can't you get a snack at the bar and then get up early for breakfast?

What time did you wake up?

Sorry, I agree with this.
You've overslept, you've suddenly decided you now need food. (nothing wrong with that, I do the same)
Your husband sounds settled at the bar though? Maybe he thought he could relax and have a few at the bar? Why should he suddenly have to think about your food needs now you've woken up, are you not your own person?!

This. You are presumably a grown woman. It's not difficult to go out and get your own food unless you drip feed and say you are miles away from a shop / takeaway

Okay, so you need food.

What country/resort are you in?

If safe to go alone, then go alone!

If unsafe, ask someone in the group to accompany you a 5/10 minute walk to the nearest shop/takeaway. Now.

Posting on Mumsnet isn’t going to cure your hunger.

Sheesh, are your standards so low?

Where is your home city, this terrifying place where you wouldn’t let a friend walk five minutes after dark to get food? War-torn, sniper territory?

Honestly, how do people this helpless get up in the morning and start the day?