Alone on holiday

[RecoveringMillennial]

Feeling more upset about this than I usually do, so wondering if I’m overreacting. Please be kind.
On holiday with a group of friends (couples). Two of us overslept and missed dinner. Other hungry friend has food brought by DP. When I say I’m hungry later (10:30ish) DH says I’ll be fine to go and fetch something on my own. Only a 5/10 minute walk, but in a foreign country and late. I can’t explain how hurt I was by this and I can’t get over the lack of care or consideration. I also suspect he didn’t want to leave the bar.
He does have form for being selfish so I don’t know if this is worse or just the final straw.

I would love to see some of these posters walk through my high street after dark. Wouldn't last 5 minutes. It wouldn't even be safe to walk during the day.

That's horrendous!

Nothing like that where I live.

Blimey, don't husbands and wives do little things for each other? All these comments about her being a grown woman and being able to source her own food, of course she can.

But wouldn't have been nice if her husband had said ok darling I'll get you something to eat? What would be wrong with that?

You are not alone on holiday.

You are hungry on holiday.

Your husband is horrid op. I would feel uncomfortable with going out in an area I was unfamiliar with after dark.

The fact he didn't wake you, the fact he didn't go out with you to get something to eat just shows his priorities.

My husband tonight wouldn't pull over so I could take a picture of the moon. This might be a small thing, but they build up. When your significant other can't be arsed to do the small things to put you first at times just shows a lack of respect and priorities.

Tonight my husband wasn't interested in a red moon so therefore would not help, your husband is interested in drinking more than helping you out.

As I said earlier it's these small things that in isolation are not big deals but when they happen time and time again they become habits and a way of life. It's rubbish

During the day, yes. In the dark/night? No. Luckily, I'm a bit boring, so I'm never really in the situation where I'm out in the dark or late on my own. If I go out with friends, we usually get lifts back together from someone's husband or relative, or drive. I'm never out on my own in the nights, really. I can't say I've particularly gone out of my way, I just don't really have a need to.

It's just a bit gross. Especially the expectation. How would you feel if your husband was in a strop with you because you didn't go and get him something to eat as soon as he woke fra 4 hour nap?

I travelled for 6 months around the world on my own in my twenties, I know the world is different now 10 years later but every night I had to go find food on my own.

Unless you are in skid row or something then I think just put your big girl boots on and get some food.

OH not waking you to say "going to dinner soon, do you want to get up" is poor, and on him - I would expect this unless I had particularly said "don't wake me, I don't mind missing dinner". If he has done this, the rest is on you. We all should be responsible for our own needs, factoring in the environment we are in. Unfair to join the group late at your will, and put your own demands over others.

She’s hangry on holiday

I just need to know where you are now @RecoveringMillennial 😀
FWIW i'd be pissed off and hurt if he didn't at least wake me and say hey do you want to come for dinner or stay here ...

Why should he? If I was on holiday and DH slept through by 4hrs and I was having a nice glass of wine and chilling with friends I absolutely would not be ‘ok darling I’ll get you something to eat’

Goodness are we reading the same thread? I didn't realise she demanded food as soon as she'd woken.

Also, I would never leave my husband sleeping whilst I went for dinner, I would wake him. Obviously.

Touristy area is it?

Whilst I’m not minimising that sounds absolutely horrendous, I’m quite sure OP isn’t on holiday anywhere like this.

You wouldn't wake him and say hey, are you coming for dinner? No?

You wouldn't "let" a friend walk somewhere five minutes away in your own city ??? Are people really so wet ??

Unless you're holidaying in downtown Mogadishu, go get your own food and stop being such a princess. And set an alarm tomorrow.

The OP is in some tourist town, full of people mooching about, if she wasn’t, she’d have told us, of this we can be sure.

If this was me and OH, he would've woken me up to begin with.

If for whatever reasons he didn't, he'd ask even before I mentioned it if I' hungry and do I want anything.

Then he'd go and get me something or we'd go together.

Am I capable of sorting myself out ? Yes. Is it nice to not have to sometimes? Also yes.

If everyone can and should do everything and anything by themselves, what's the point in having a partner?

@Changingplace why not wake him to begin with?

I don't understand why they can't go together. It's odd to expect your partner to go off on their own.

Thank you. To be honest, it has. My husband is away at the moment. I'm far more safety conscious, making sure all the doors are locked, etc. My house is a bit isolated. No-one would hear us if there was a problem. I think you're right 20 years ago, I wouldn't have thought much about walking around at 10.30 at night. But now I'm older, I see things differently. I wouldn't do it now alone. I just wouldn't. If that makes me pathetic, well, then so be it. In my life, I've been sexually assaulted three times. Twice in work. I honestly just don't feel that safe. I had a problem in Bristol one evening a few weeks back, when we visited. It was around 9.30 pm, I was with my mum and sister, and we were getting hassled by a drunk bloke. I would have hated to have been on my own. I felt scared enough as it was.

If its the OP wishing her husband had got her some food just because it would be a kind thing to do then ok, that would have been nice of him. But then all the comments about it not being safe, or a woman shouldn't be out on her own after dark anywhere etc etc I lost sympathy. For goodness sake, can women not be independent capable adults who can navigate the world without needing a man next to them?
Obviously you judge the situation and certain areas or situations are best avoided, but a 10 minute walk in a touristy area (though OP hasn't told us where she is so we can only assume) is hardly being foolhardy.

That was not anyone else's fault

This 🙌🏼