Alone on holiday

[RecoveringMillennial]

Feeling more upset about this than I usually do, so wondering if I’m overreacting. Please be kind.
On holiday with a group of friends (couples). Two of us overslept and missed dinner. Other hungry friend has food brought by DP. When I say I’m hungry later (10:30ish) DH says I’ll be fine to go and fetch something on my own. Only a 5/10 minute walk, but in a foreign country and late. I can’t explain how hurt I was by this and I can’t get over the lack of care or consideration. I also suspect he didn’t want to leave the bar.
He does have form for being selfish so I don’t know if this is worse or just the final straw.

I would, unless there was a reason I’d rather go alone 🤣 I’m beginning to wonder if there was a reason the OP overslept by 4hrs and he didn’t want to wake her, maybe she was sleeping off the lunchtime cocktails?

This is bonkers...

Set your alarm to get up

Go and get food if you're hungry. It'll be perfectly safe. Assuming you aren't holidaying in Gaza

I mean that’s fine obviously, but it’s not typical if you live in a safe area and conduct a social life.

Imagine this was the other way round, OP: I’m on holiday with DH & friends, he was supposed to have a quick nap but was flat out & completely missed dinner by 4hours.

By the time he surfaced and decided he was hungry I’d already eaten with friends as we’d planned to and he complained I didn’t offer to go and get him food - I was having a drink with our friends by this point and thought he should get his own food…

So where is the OH staying ?

I do have a bit of a social life! But it's more meals out, walking along the costal path with a friend, days out with friends and our children, afternoon tea etc. My clubbing days are long gone. I've moved out of the city.

But presumably when you lived in a city, you were sometimes alone at night, either going to or coming back from whatever it is you went out to do?

I'm guessing OP has never travelled abroad on her own?

I'm totally fascinated by all these people who are horrified by the idea of being outside alone after dark, do you all work reduced hours in winter so you can be safely home in day light hours ??

I agree, MN is full of reverse vampires who can’t go out after dark alone.

But you weren't alone as you said someone came with you?

Tbh I live in a relatively safe albeit quiet area in London and I wouldn’t do this. I have seen two cases of people getting mugged in broad daylight and another happened near the school a little while ago. I worry more about getting mugged as a tourist especially at night.

This

You’re on holiday with several other couples, you don’t have to do everything with your partner, though it’s nice to do some. I get wanting company when you go to get something to eat. But I also get wanting to stay at a bar when you’re having fun with friends. It seems one of your other friends was happy to go with you, so I think you should be okay with how things turned out. Your expectations of your partner here seem more selfish than his actions.

Unless it’s a dangerous part of the world, being upset about people not thinking you need a chaperone when you missed the regular meal is unreasonable. You weren’t being left out by others, you weren’t at risk. If you didn’t give the others reason to think you wanted to be woken for dinner, this is you expecting everything to revolve around you and getting upset when your partner doesn’t want to drop what he’s doing to cater to you.

That is perfectly reasonable. All the just get your own food, he was having fun in the bar, bla bla bla posts are not reasonable. Of course you don't leave your wife to go off looking for food in a strange city late at night on her own.

Why? Is woman not capable of going out by herself without her husband?
I'm my own person. If I'd have fallen asleep and missed food I might go out for a wander by myself.
I wouldn't expect DH to have to chaperone me. (if he came it would be nice, if not then Ok)

Doesn't say all day 🙄

Well, I must have been well and truly gaslit because I’ve been walking around in all sorts of places for the past 40 years unaccompanied. Surely this is a wind-up?

How do you survive?

By this logic you wouldn’t go out in broad daylight?

I'm probably missing the point entirely here but surely there's some sort of fast food delivery you could've gotten if you're in a resorty area? Why did you need to go anywhere in the first place? Modern convenience and all that.

Because she is in some tourist town, she’s going to be surrounded by a bunch of other tourists.

Cool the drama. The chances of her getting attacked are mini, and would be higher for him.

It’s your own fault

Hi Op

Are you the poster in Mexico? I can understand your concern about eating on your own if so

Agree. MN is a very odd place with some bizarre attitudes.