Alone on holiday

[RecoveringMillennial]

Feeling more upset about this than I usually do, so wondering if I’m overreacting. Please be kind.
On holiday with a group of friends (couples). Two of us overslept and missed dinner. Other hungry friend has food brought by DP. When I say I’m hungry later (10:30ish) DH says I’ll be fine to go and fetch something on my own. Only a 5/10 minute walk, but in a foreign country and late. I can’t explain how hurt I was by this and I can’t get over the lack of care or consideration. I also suspect he didn’t want to leave the bar.
He does have form for being selfish so I don’t know if this is worse or just the final straw.

Don't be so ridiculous.

A woman not wanting to walk about in a foreign country, at night, on her own is not spoilt. She us aware of the risks to her personal safety.

A woman in Birstall just down the road from me was dragged into a car and raped at 8am last week.

No decent partner would put his socialising and beers over the safety of his wife.

Stop gaslighting women

I don't really relate to the "unfamiliar city" thing tbh. You've said it's 5-10,mins walk. You're not likely to get lost. I'd relish a stroll somewhere new. It's not even that late.

This isn’t happening now. One of our group agreed that I shouldn’t go alone and came with me. I feel so hurt that he wouldn’t care enough. If that makes me a princess then I am.

Where on earth do you live that a grown adult wouldn’t go and get food in your home city? Where are on you holiday?

You’re being really hard work, you’re an adult just go and get some food you don’t need a babysitter unless you’re on holiday in some war torn location.

It would really irritate me if someone I was on holiday with slept for hours then needed their hand holding to grab a pizza or similar.

So you wouldn't walk around Bristol at 8am?

I'm surprised, too. Usually, on mn, the dangers of women alone at night are discussed, tips on how to stay safe etc. Yet tonight, you're perfectly fine in an unfamiliar country late at night on your own op 🤔.

That’s not what they’re saying. It’s being aware of danger and protecting ourselves (and others) where possible

Sheesh are you so incapable of understanding that people should act like adults? I’d honestly not need a male chaperone to walk 5/10mins in a tourist resort to buy food, I find it ridiculous that anyone would be upset by this.

Is he good in other ways? I would think nothing of it, but I think you're comparing with the other couple - comparison is the thief of joy someone once said.
I'd have loved finding food on my own, but I know we're all different. Did you end up eating, feeling better and having fun or did this thing ruin your night?

I honestly wonder about some people, terrified of their own shadows, afraid to stir outdoors after dark even in their home city, yet choosing holiday destinations of such dangerous crime levels that a five minute walk for food is likely to be inviting kidnap.

Where are you on holiday that’s so dangerous? You are aware many women travel all over the world alone and live alone too?

I’m a bit suprised all the people who think a woman should walk in a strange place at 10:30 at night. Her husband should go with her, why take the risk of her getting attacked?

Why didn't he wake you up before he went out for dinner? I find that a bit odd.

Your thread title is so melodramatic it’s quite humorous, ‘alone on holiday’ …for all of five mins walking to a takeaway in a popular tourist resort.

Wait, so what is your AIBU about?

Are you alone now? Is your DH continuing to leave you on your own?

Should I publish my memoir I shall take this into account

If you’re in a tourist resort, presumably it’s relatively safe? I do think it’s princessy behaviour to expect to be escorted around tbh. I can’t stand grown women infantilising themselves. I have travelled a fair bit alone so maybe that’s why.

Same here. Quite frankky, I'm amazed at the low bar so many posters have on this thread.

There is no way DH would have left me asleep and gone to dinner without me. I wouldn't do that to him either.

@RecoveringMillennial I'm glad someone went with you. I would be pretty 😡 with your husband as well.

Guess I'm lucky as my partner would definitely offer to get me something. My grandad would for my grandma, dad for mum etc. it's a caring thing to do.

I think just the offer is nice even if I ended sorting it myself.

I think the actual problem here is that he let you sleep through dinner. That’s kind of shitty.

Me too! This is what I’m finding to be the worst thing about the situation, my partner would never just go down for dinner in this sort of setting and leave me asleep!

This
with big bells on

I’d be annoyed too, more so for letting me sleep and miss dinner to begin with. I wouldn’t be happy walking around strange places alone in the evening either, it’s not about “needing a man” just general safety in numbers. I’m glad your friend went with you OP.

I genuinely don't see it as a low bar. Just that I would hate feeling like I couldn't walk five minutes on my own and hate anyone acting like that was weird.

You don't go out in your own city at 10.30 at night?!

Surely everyone's done that??