Alone on holiday

[RecoveringMillennial]

Feeling more upset about this than I usually do, so wondering if I’m overreacting. Please be kind.
On holiday with a group of friends (couples). Two of us overslept and missed dinner. Other hungry friend has food brought by DP. When I say I’m hungry later (10:30ish) DH says I’ll be fine to go and fetch something on my own. Only a 5/10 minute walk, but in a foreign country and late. I can’t explain how hurt I was by this and I can’t get over the lack of care or consideration. I also suspect he didn’t want to leave the bar.
He does have form for being selfish so I don’t know if this is worse or just the final straw.

You overslept a nap by four hours?! Time to get your own food!

Why didn’t you go and get food with your friend? Surely that made the most sense and leave both DH in the bar?

I think you’re being dramatic sorry. Unless you’re in Mexico City or some parts of India - why would it be dangerous? Why not call room service? It sounds like you want him to get something for you, he’s presumably in midst convo with other people etc (you say in the bar?) why do you think it’s fair to cut that short? You say 5/10 minutes away - yet instead of just getting going…. You’ve posted on Mumsnet.

I suspect it’s just one of his selfish ways I’ve come to expect. It hasn’t occurred to me, yet I would never have done the same to him.

Perhaps he thought she would prefer to sleep?

Gwad the drama Get yourself some food and next time set an alarm.

10 30pm on a warm summer Saturday night isn't usually a dangerous time in most towns and cities people like to holiday in.

When we were in holiday in France last month we watched the football in a local bar I was feeling a bit tired and wanted to go back, Mr Monkey wanted to stay for a little longer to take in the atmosphere as France won. I managed to walk the whole 10 mins back to our hotel alone because I am a grown ass woman.

You never know. Just a few weeks ago, someone I spoke to went home and was murdered a few hours later. In the middle of the morning. Maybe my perception is off. And I feel like I live in a fairly safe area.

This is Mn. People come home from work and get into their pyjamas by 6 pm.

Why did you go on holiday to somewhere so dangerous? I wouldn't go on holiday somewhere I couldn't walk for ten minutes without feeling safe. Is it the Bronx?

I think our personal experience change
out perception as we grow. I wouldn’t have cared about this 10 years ago. I hope this incident doesn’t affect you

Op assuming it’s the typical kinda town where people go on holiday, then you aren’t in any danger.

If this is genuine anxiety, sort it out.

It is odd he didn’t wake you. Given what appears to be a Grazia level appetite for drama, it may be you have had enough of each other. So have a chat about that when you get home.

But I doubt you are going to be duffed up on the mean streets of Lisbon, sadly for your memoir. Buy and icecream on the way home, it’s always cheering.

I agree, I’d be irritated at the suggestion I wasn’t capable of walking down the road by myself.

Where are you OP?

I must admit I wouldn't expect my DH to go out in the evening without waking me up . I would be really annoyed . And I don't think it's reasonable that your partner did this.

Sadly ice cream is definitely not cheering

Blimey, it must be bad.

Or are you in Copenhagen? Still not going to be duffed up, but perhaps go for a pastry instead

But this is why this whole attitude is so bizarre. Are you never going to go anywhere unchaperomed? I don't mean to be facetious, awful things have happened in my local area too. But I still don't get wanting to be infantalised as a response.

Where did you get food in the end OP?

Id be annoyed if while on holiday my dh had a four hour afternoon nap, unless he was ill.

do you think he didn't wake you up out of spite?

And he got it so, so wrong clearly! And that’s what I find to be the worst part of the situation.

TBH if my partner overslept and missed dinner on a group holiday I'd be hurt and embarrassed by their behaviour.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect him to leave a sociable evening to bring you food, when you can to go to dinner. Couldn't you have gone to join him in three bar and got food there?

it was supposed to be a nap, but I woke up 4 hours later

That's your body telling you you need that rest.

Up to you to sort your food out then. When you wake up. You're an adult woman.
Uber do food deliveries if you don't want to go wandering around. Just google restaurants where you are staying.

Too many women on MN blame husbands when they in fact don't want to become independent by themselves.

Trust me, your future self will thank you for it.

Men leave, die off, become sick. (Women in general live longer than men).

Get in touch with your inner warrior woman.

Did you ask him to go with you?