To find this apology an absolute cheek

[Crabsinthesea]

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

"Happy to leave it".
Then back away..they aren't your friends...

Walk away op

Fuck off.

Them, not you.

Banter is with the subject of it appreciating the joke and joining in. Bitching behind someone's back isn't banter. Maybe point that out to them. If you want to continue as friends they should both apologise - properly, not that non-apology that blames you for being too sensitive.

But they don't sound very nice.

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

Ask her outright what exactly is funny? What is it about your weight that they find funny? And how enjoyable is the banter about your weight?
Ask if they would enjoy it if you picked up on something they are unhappy about, and proceeded to mock them for it and call it “banter.”

Dont pull any punches. They’re dickheads. Make her explain exactly what was funny.

Nastiness is not banter, get rid, you're better off without them.

What did they say exactly?

I'd tell them to fuck off. If it was banter between you all and you all give as good as you get then that's one thing. 'Banter' aka bitchiness behind your back is different.

Talk about non apology. So she's sorry without being the least bit sorry and at the same time making it your fault that you were offended. I'd be dropping the pair of them.

They aren't friends. They're arseholes.

Blaming you for it as well!

Back away from them. They are piss takers and enjoy making fun of people.
Can we leave it. Not their decision, I would be glad I found them out, and move on. Keep your pleasant friends. I hope they see this thread and realise they are nasty unpleasant people.

Yeah, friends don't 'banter' about their friend's weight. Ever.

A short, sharp 'off you fuck' text will do the job.

Arseholes. It's not on you for being sensitive.

Both of the things you’ve suggested are awful and not funny. Would you find it funny to joke about someone not suiting their clothes? That’s just bullying. It’s snide and bitchy and bullying.

What exactly is funny and enjoyable about pointing at someone and saying how awful they look in their clothes? Would it be visible fat rolls that are funny? Overhanging tummy that’s funny? Visible upper arms?

What is it that you find funny about fat people in certain clothes?

I'd be really upset in your position. They sound pretty awful and I'm not sure I could continue with the friendship.

The only thing correct here is that she has used ‘could have instead of ‘could of’ OP.
The rest is not an apology.
A true apology…

1. is about saying sorry for the hurt caused
2. a promise it will never happen again
3. an understanding that the person hurt may need time and space to reflect. It does not read like this and the ‘can we leave it now. Sorry 💗’ deserves an extra award.

They are not friends. I would never ever comment about my friends weight to anyone. I don't even think about my friends weight. They were bitching. Well done for confronting them. I would cut them out my life and find decent friends.

"knowing how sensitive you can be we shouldn't have said it really"

Turning it round on you as if it's all your fault for being overweight and sensitive.

It wasn't "banter" it was bitchiness. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. Truly dreadful text, I would reply with a simple fuck off and block.

They are not friends. Don’t even give them a reply. Ignore and don’t waste anymore of your time on these nasty people.

"well, now I know that you find it funny to laugh at other people. Goodbye"

You’ve done the hard bit by confronting them at the time - well done.

Don’t let them weasel out with their heart emoji non-apology message🙄. This is all about making themselves feel less shit. Personally, I would not write back and block. Move forward with your own beautiful life and leave these cows behind. Would you ever want to go out for dinner and bants with them again???

Mean girls ! Alive and well in 2024 , how horrible

I couldn’t be friends with these people . And that “apology “ is not an apology .

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on!

Half of this is good advice, you should just do that, move on. They are not your friends, there's nothing positive for you in sticking with them.

Total 'sorry, not sorry' there. Just awful.