To find this apology an absolute cheek

[Crabsinthesea]

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

I’m failing to see the vast difference you mention? It’s nasty either way…

That's heartbreaking OP, I could not forgive that if I were you. They are not friends. I wouldn't meet with them again. I'd send them a last message, saying you realise they need to drag you down to make themselves feel better, and therefore they are not your friends.

just block and ignore them.

This.

Send them the dictionary definition of 'bitching' and 'banter', then block/ghost them both.

YANBU it’s not “banter” and I’m so sorry your friends are so rude and shitty.

It's not banter to make fun of you behind your back. It's bitchy and unkind. These people are not your friends, they have shown their true colours. I wouldn't reply to the message, I'd block them and cut them out of your life.

I'd reply

'Banter is funny. What you said was just plain nasty and rude. Happy to leave it as I don't want to associate with such spiteful, bitchy people. I would say have a nice life but I doubt thats possible since you must be quite unhappy insecure people to behave in such a way. When you grow up and develop some class, still don't call me.'

However I'm not known for avoiding a row.

Banter is not funny, it's humiliating someone under the guise of humour.

I wouldn't want these two as friends, they shown you who they are - believe it.

No there isn’t.

You are totally not being unreasonable. You don’t need friends like this, bin them.

Another "one and done" poster???

What sort of friends take the piss out of a friend’s weight and then calls it ‘bants’.

Fucking hell. Bitches.

Yes I see what you mean:

OMG you are so fat = not funny

vs

OMG you are so fat in that skirt = hilarious

Are you one of OPs friends by any chance?

Banter is when the person is included and everyone is having a bit of a laugh about something. They were bitching behind your back.
Makes you wonder what else they've been saying....

I think I'd send them a link to this thread where they can see how utterly horrendous they've been based on an objective audiences opinion, and also never speak to them again. You don't need poison like that in your life. I hope you have some other friends who are actually nice 💐

What did they say exactly. 'She has put on a little bit of weight since last time' is different to making pig noises and calling you hippo features.

Anyone is entitled to comment be they friends family or strangers, but we do not have the information as to what was exactly said.

If it was nasty 'look at that fat xxxx'. Ditch them. If you made a comment about their features would they be angry or accept it as banter and everyone is fair game. Some people are like that. Their banter ways may simply not be compatible with the way you are.

Text:

‘Shifting the responsibility of what went down yesterday onto me is something that I will not accept. What should be happening is the two of you should be mature enough to seriously reflect on your error of ways and truly appreciate the impact of your thoughts and words. It appears like this is out of your reach, so I therefore wish to have nothing to do with either of you and will be seeking more honest friendships with people who value me completely.’

Then never speak to the pair of them ever again.

They don't sound like good friends.