To find this apology an absolute cheek

[Crabsinthesea]

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

Not your friends

I'm shocked that people actually voted that you are being unreasonable.

YANBU - They aren't your friends

NRYFT but only one of those friends has contacted you- badly.

How about replying something like this:
"Based on that message, it is clear that we have a difference of opinion here. You see things differently to me, but I need an apology that acknowledges what you said and did. It's important for me to hear that you understand why your actions were hurtful to me."

Edited cos I got it wrong

Just give them the link to this posting and the replies and let them see what everyone thinks of their "banter". They owe you a genuine, honest and truly apologetic response or ditch then as you can do a lot better!

I'd have walked out of the restaurant.

I'm sorry YOU.... Is not an apology, its blaming you for their behaviour. I don't know anyone who would be sensitive to being laughed at and joked about. Honestly they're not your friends.

Both still nasty though?

Op, so sorry your friends were so unkind. A true friend would never ever “banter” about anything, they celebrate who you are. You deserve better x

Since you're not sensitive I just wanted to let you know that you're rude, your breath smells and you have the fashion sense of a binned teabag. I'll just take my fat sensitivity and leave you to it.

Is what i would reply

Wrong B word…Bitching NOT Banter!! Hope you’re okay OP.

Sounds theyre bitches who got caught bitching.....not friends!!!

How awful for you, they clearly don't give a shit about your feelings if they can joke about you and then offer a half arsed apology!

People like this are not worth your time.

Hope you are okay

That made me laugh!

It’s not you, it’s them. That’s not an apology, it’s a telling off about you being ‘sensitive’. How dare she?! As another pp says, had it been ‘banter’, she’d have said it to your face. They were talking truth, they weren’t expecting to be overheard. Cows.

She”s not very bright, this “friend”, is she?

” Banter” is when you say it to the person’s face, and they know it’s a joke, and it’s pitched so that they don’t actually mind.
When you say it behind their back, and it’s unkind, then it’s not banter; it’s just plain “bitchiness”.
She got caught bitching and now she’s back-pedalling (quite ineptly) to make it look like she’s not in the wrong. You can call her out on it, or pretend you understand and smooth it over.
(Also, her grammar is dismal)

Agree with this. Honestly. Why are people like this?
Please chalk this up to experience. Thus is them. Not you. They are horrible horrible people.
Xx

Sadly OP, I think this friendship is over. I’m not sure even an apology would let me trust these people again. They sound like mean girls. I don’t think I’d respond at all to that ‘apology’. If you did want to respond I think maybe smthng like:
Don’t apologise for my feelings and reactions. It was hurtful that my friends were making fun of me behind my back. Happy to leave it.

Then lose them. At least they’ll know you’re not a pushover. I’m really sorry this happened to you.

I wouldn't even reply to that OP. They are not friends. Friends don't make fun of their pal's weight. Sorry. You deserve better xx

I’m so tired of people who say, ‘Oh, it’s only bantz.’ It’s such a cowardly get-out. You’d be well shot of this pair.

""Banter" is something you do to take the piss out of the other person to their face, not "joke" about something personal about someone else behind their back.

Your apology isn't even an apology. You're sorry that I'm upset. You're definitely sorry you got caught. What you're not sorry about is that you said it."

God I'm raging for you OP!

“I shouldn’t have been surprised considering how rude and jealous you can be. Apology accepted hun”!

What a pair of snakes. If it were banter they’d have said it to your face. And a joke is only funny when all parties involved, are laughing. You weren’t included and they clearly wouldn’t have said it to your face. And then gaslighting you after with the message. Don’t reply, completely block. These are not your ‘friends’.

Better off without 'friends' like this. You deserve better.

It's a joke when all of you think it's funny. It's not if one of you is the the joke and is hurt from the brunt of it.
They should be better.