Partner won't ever go down on me

[Mixedfeelings24]

Posting for trafficand namechabted. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable here but feeling conflicted my lovely partner of 9 years just doesn't do oral. I thought I was fine with this and had resigned myself to not having this anymore as the other things he brings to the relationship are great.

Recently though I found out in the past not long before me he was infatued with another woman and more or less performed on demand, rightly or wrongly this has rocked my confidence and made me feel he can't possibly physically want me as much

YABU - No one should do what they don't want

YANBU - If he was giving in the past why not now

It is completely different. You cannot compare a car share to a 'body share'. OP has said her partner pleasures her in other ways, so her needs are being taken care of, he isn't being selfish, just not doing it that way. Deciding to stop doing something to try and force the other to do something they don't want to do is coercive and manipulative.
Yes, people can change their minds about things, but when the motivation to do so is purely to control or change someone else, it is highly problematic. When you get into playing games like this in a relationship, you might as well call time and end it.

My DP doesn’t like giving oral. I am not a fan of giving it to. I will to help him finish off for his pleasure. I don’t come during oral and there are other things he does which is much more satisfying.

basically you learn from a partner what they like and then from you. My case I am not overly fussed with oral but love thx other things he does to me.