Village bullies - time to move?

[Joyjazz]

Aibu to sell a house I bought 8 months ago?

I bought a beautiful house in a village and have spent a lot of money renovating it and building an extension.

The only problem is the neighbours … I think they have a vendetta against me because I’m the newbie in the area. It started with some complaints about the builders’ noise which I could understand. I explained that the work would take x amount of time and there would still only be noise on weekdays 9-5pm. That passed.

Next it was about the parking. I have a drive and my visitors park on the road. Three neighbours have started blocking me in when a visitor’s car is on the unrestricted road. I tried to discuss it and it ended up escalating into an argument.

Next some mad neighbour reported me for running a food business from my property without a licence. I keep bees elsewhere and donated a few jars of honey to the village fete as raffle prizes . The neighbour used this as evidence that I run a food business illegally from my property.

I’ve spent a lot of money on the house. I won’t get it back if I sell any time soon. But I feel so stressed and miserable as the neighbours (4 in particular) really seem to be ganging up on me. if I move it would be back to the city which would mean a less beautiful and much smaller place.

For context, it’s just me and my child who is not yet at school.

Aibu to want to move? Wwud?

I’ve always thought I’d hate to live in a village and this thread has only confirmed it!!

sorry OP - I agree with those saying stick it out till your DC is in school as that can be a community in itself if you want it to be. And while moving schools is always a disruption you would want to avoid, moving between R and year 1 isn’t the most difficult transition.

I don’t recognize village life but I do recognize bullying. Of course bullies always pick who they perceive as vulnerable people who won’t fight back or don’t have a support system. It may be cloaked in corduroy and folksy tradition (the cleaners car parking😂) but its bullying. Absolutely don’t move. Put the bins back and record it on doorbell then confront them. Or better yet if you can lay in wait and confront them in the act. As for the parking sure use the drive if you can and if you can’t one goes in front of your house. every neighborhood in the world is affected temporarily by visitors or parties. It’s temporary. And be friendly to those who are friendly but don’t worry about making friends of these bullies. The thing they have supporting their friendship IS bullying. Read up on bullying and tips for handling it. This is bullying birthplace I’m sure…little cliques who don’t want anyone to have what they have or be like them.

You need to start playing a game here. They are targeting you because stuff you do is pissing them off. It doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to do it but it’s pissing then off and so they were acting like bullies.

if where your visitors are parking is causing an issue then is there a different place your visitors could park? I know they are entitled to park outside your house but is there anywhere that right now isn’t as problematic, if so get them to park there.

The builders noise was temporary so hopefully that’s over now. So my next plan would be to join the residents group on Facebook and get involved in other local stuff and make friends. What you need is a network around you so these bullies will back off. Local food bank, local church, local anything worthwhile and volunteer led and get involved. Honestly once you start to get to know decent local people you will feel a million times better about your neighbours being dicks.

My lovely friend has had a lot of grief from village ‘friends’ because although she grew up in a council house, she has been able to afford to move to a large detached house.

They are sooo obviously just envious.

Hugs to you. I felt very sad reading your post as I had neighbours from hell that were a nightmare. All things being said I’d stay put as it seems like you’ve invested time and money and neighbours aside love where you live. They may never be your friends but that’s fine.

Are they old? I'd ride it out.

guessing the Op has shuffled off

OP…. best not to post a load of contradictory threads about being a single mum of a new born one week, then having trouble with your MIL the next week, referring to a DH the next week, and then back to single mum this week. All in the space of 2/3 months

We don’t have a school where I live. When dd started nursery there were obvious cliques. I did find another left out parent but by y6 we were still a rarity and not admitted to existing cliques. You have to form your own.

Should have said school was in a bigger village. Our catchment school. Most dc in our settlement didn’t go to it. A few dc did eventually at junior level but by then dd wasn’t friends with them. It was tougher than I expected.

This is why I hate village life and the myth that country folk are oh so friendly. It is far pettier, less accommodating than city life, where people are used to rubbing up against each other and tolerating differences.

Don't even think about it! What if a new place is even worse? There are no guarantees. In time, if you behave well and do not bite the bait, they will come round, or they may move themselves. Stand your ground politely.

I really really hope you are right.

I'd be dragging back their full bins and accidentally tipping them over and disposing the whole contents of their fronts!

Horrible situation but try to ignore, hold your head up high and they’ll move on.

Of course I am liars don't stop being liars and people start picking up on things that don't add up and before you know it they don't believe a word that person says, no matter how of a liar that they think they are.

Classic bullies.

Bullies don't respond to niceness. They see it as weakness.

I think you'll have to step up to them. For eg. Don't use your drive. Park in "bettys" space. Move their bins. Spill them. Install CCTV. Start a rumour that you're selling your property to developers.

Sorry, they sound unpleasant. Hopefully you can take them down.

i can’t remember the last time i saw my neighbour! Let alone had a conversation with them whereby they denigrated me. How does the neighbour denigrate you?

they're either old, Tories, or both.

I've been in a village 20 years, in a rented house. My teenage son has started vaping in the garden at night (after we are in bed), and the neighbour reported us to the landlord. We have received a warning letter, and will be evicted if it happens again. Obviously my son has had a proper "talking to" from me, and he will stop doing it, but FFS. Our family home is at risk ... people can be f'ing weird. What if some passer-by vapes near their house and we get accused? It's curtains...

isn’t it a bit more than vaping? not weed too?

Erm...by having conversations with everyone else and slandering me to them?

everyone else being other neighbours? sounds like a real community! i’d have no bloomin idea what one neighbour said to another

Yes other neighbours. You'd be surprised the trouble one person can make in a small neighborhood. If I could live in a field in the middle of nowhere there would be nothing holding me back.

all with far too much time on their hands

When your DC starts school join the FPTA - it's an excellent way into a village community and you'll soon meet some lovely local parents who will become your friends. The curtain twitching bin moving parking space hogging nobodies will fade from your mind as you slowly meet the rest of the community.