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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Huw Edwards case - the impact on family

217 replies

therunningman · 31/07/2024 16:31

Spare a thought for Huw Edwards family today. They must be going through hell and feeling deeply conflicted right now. This is something that will reverberate through their lives for years to come. And being such a public figure, impossible to forget or box away as a "family secret" (yes, every family has them) in the future.

I write from bitter experience. Some years ago my dad was similarly prosecuted and pleaded guilty. Completely out of character and out of the blue. Outcome was some sort of supervision order. No custodial or suspended sentence.

Fast forward today and my wife refuses to have anything to do with my parents, they are persona non grata to her, completely. On the other hand I refused to "cancel" my dad just like that. This has placed a huge strain on our marriage and mental health at times. To compound difficulties my sibling and their partner found a way to forgive. They remain very close to my parents and holiday with them and do all the usual family stuff Christmas etc. regularly. Watching that is very hard for me. (You'll notice I've written parents, yes they remained together.)

It's all too easy to join a braying mob ("peado!") but very very difficult for close family to navigate. There is no right or wrong answer and certainly no guidebook.

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really?

There is no greater test of your marriage than that (or indeed your relationship with you in-laws), trust me.

OP posts:
ispecialiseinthis · 31/07/2024 16:35

My priority would and always will be my children esp if they were vulnerable (i.e. not adults). I would cut my FIL, father, brother, BIL in a blink of an eye if they ever did something similar - no question.

Copperoliverbear · 31/07/2024 16:36

It is infuriates me that they say they're remorseful and get a lesser sentence, anyone could say that, once a weirdo always a weirdo, bring back the death penalty for these Bs

DavidBeckhamsrightfoot · 31/07/2024 16:37

Sorry, your Dad was found guilty of having indecent images of children but the issue is your wife not sweeping it all under the rug.

Yea no I do judge you all.
A lot
He should've been shunned.

Do you think the children get to go on ignoring what happened?

Viewfrommyhouse · 31/07/2024 16:39

therunningman · 31/07/2024 16:31

Spare a thought for Huw Edwards family today. They must be going through hell and feeling deeply conflicted right now. This is something that will reverberate through their lives for years to come. And being such a public figure, impossible to forget or box away as a "family secret" (yes, every family has them) in the future.

I write from bitter experience. Some years ago my dad was similarly prosecuted and pleaded guilty. Completely out of character and out of the blue. Outcome was some sort of supervision order. No custodial or suspended sentence.

Fast forward today and my wife refuses to have anything to do with my parents, they are persona non grata to her, completely. On the other hand I refused to "cancel" my dad just like that. This has placed a huge strain on our marriage and mental health at times. To compound difficulties my sibling and their partner found a way to forgive. They remain very close to my parents and holiday with them and do all the usual family stuff Christmas etc. regularly. Watching that is very hard for me. (You'll notice I've written parents, yes they remained together.)

It's all too easy to join a braying mob ("peado!") but very very difficult for close family to navigate. There is no right or wrong answer and certainly no guidebook.

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really?

There is no greater test of your marriage than that (or indeed your relationship with you in-laws), trust me.

He wouldn't be near me or my child ever again. If my dh had a problem with that, I'd leave him too and do everything in my/the court's power to ensure that dh couldn't facilitate any contact.

Paperthin · 31/07/2024 16:39

No - my children come first. No one should brush it under the carpet like your family seem to have - it wasn’t ‘out of character ‘ it WAS HIM and he was guilty.
I’m with your DW.

HeddaGarbled · 31/07/2024 16:40

bring back the death penalty for these Bs

Tad excessive. Do you actually know what he’s just plead guilty to?

summerdazey · 31/07/2024 16:40

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really? choose their kids over their parent and grieve for the relationship they used to have.

WhyAreYou · 31/07/2024 16:40

The write answer is to not abuse children and to not view child pornograhy.

Abitboring · 31/07/2024 16:41

OP I'm massively judging you for 'forgiving' your father. Your wife is right.

WhyAreYou · 31/07/2024 16:41

I'm wondering how he was caught.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 31/07/2024 16:41

As someone who's experienced rape, I have a zero tolerance policy towards anyone who colludes in sexual abuse - whether that is of adults or children. I would cut out a family member if they were convicted of doing so, and I make no apologies for that.

The men who purchase and share child abuse images create a market that directly causes more children to be abused, to make more images. They are colluding in child rape.

CosmicDaisyChain · 31/07/2024 16:41

On the surface I think his wife is either stupid or just has no problem with his paedophilia but I imagine it is deeper than that and there is probably a lot of denial at play. I'd be like your wife. I would cut ties. I'd have no issue doing it either.

ViaBlue · 31/07/2024 16:41

Good for your wife!!!!!! Respect to her.
Women who stay with peadophiles and families who protest those peadophiles are a disgrace.

Reallybadidea · 31/07/2024 16:42

I'm so sorry that you and your family have been through this. It must be very isolating for you given the nature of his crimes. I hope you have real life support.

Finnulafishface · 31/07/2024 16:42

Of course I feel for his DC, that was my first thought when this story broke - how do you come to terms with that.

For you, your choice to still to have a relationship with your Dad, however, if my DF or any male relative had carried out the same, they would have been cut off immediately. I’m amazed that you cannot see and support your wife here and have allowed it to cause issue with your own family.

WhyAreYou · 31/07/2024 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Abitboring · 31/07/2024 16:43

Didn't Huw Edwards barrister or someone describe him as someone of excellent character? Makes me so sick.

summerdazey · 31/07/2024 16:43

Abitboring · 31/07/2024 16:43

Didn't Huw Edwards barrister or someone describe him as someone of excellent character? Makes me so sick.

That's their job though

PurpleReindeer2 · 31/07/2024 16:44

If my dad had pleaded guilty to making sexually abusive images of children then I would have been horrified and shaken to the core. The love and protection of my children would automatically take effect and he would have no contact with them. I would be so betrayed that I would also have to distance myself from him. This depraved abuse destroys families.

Copperoliverbear · 31/07/2024 16:45

@HeddaGarbled I am talking about pedos in general if they're proven to be guilty they do not deserve to live.
Tell the children in those videos and photos, children who have been abused tell them the death penalty is a tad excessive.
That's why this country is in the state we are in, because we are weak and someone says sorry and they get away with it,
Once a pedo always a pedo.

TheWoodlanders · 31/07/2024 16:45

Abitboring · 31/07/2024 16:43

Didn't Huw Edwards barrister or someone describe him as someone of excellent character? Makes me so sick.

That's how the law works though. You hire a barrister to defend you.

MacDonaldandHobNobs · 31/07/2024 16:45

Your dad is still a paedophile, your forgiveness hasn't changed that and as evidence suggests, he is still having the same thoughts about vulnerable children. There is no cure.

How does that sit with you?

Sarahconnor1 · 31/07/2024 16:45

Similar but not the same happened in my family, and I agree with your wife.

These are images of real children being raped and abused.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 31/07/2024 16:46

Spare a thought for the predator apologists.
Take that to MNHQ and have them fix your title.

MacDonaldandHobNobs · 31/07/2024 16:46

I can guarantee the OP won't come back and answer any challenging questions

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