Huw Edwards case - the impact on family

[therunningman]

Spare a thought for Huw Edwards family today. They must be going through hell and feeling deeply conflicted right now. This is something that will reverberate through their lives for years to come. And being such a public figure, impossible to forget or box away as a "family secret" (yes, every family has them) in the future.

I write from bitter experience. Some years ago my dad was similarly prosecuted and pleaded guilty. Completely out of character and out of the blue. Outcome was some sort of supervision order. No custodial or suspended sentence.

Fast forward today and my wife refuses to have anything to do with my parents, they are persona non grata to her, completely. On the other hand I refused to "cancel" my dad just like that. This has placed a huge strain on our marriage and mental health at times. To compound difficulties my sibling and their partner found a way to forgive. They remain very close to my parents and holiday with them and do all the usual family stuff Christmas etc. regularly. Watching that is very hard for me. (You'll notice I've written parents, yes they remained together.)

It's all too easy to join a braying mob ("peado!") but very very difficult for close family to navigate. There is no right or wrong answer and certainly no guidebook.

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really?

There is no greater test of your marriage than that (or indeed your relationship with you in-laws), trust me.

My step dad sexually abused me and my sister and nieces also his own daughter.
His own daughter actually went to prison to visit him but didn't want to cut him off as he was her dad.
I absolutely could not forgive her that. I understand it was difficult for her but she had a daughter who fortunately was left alone.
Luckily for us he died painfully just as he was due to be released. I celebrated that day. I've never spoken to her since, no idea where she is nor do I want to know. Anyway I am with your wife can't actually understand why you're not.

I wouldn't let them anywhere near my kids and you shouldn't either. I'm sorry this happened in your family but your wife is right in protecting your children. Your view is very worrying, and is offensive to the children your father hurt via his actions. I do not believe you can cure or excuse paedophilia, and the only answer is to lock them up, away from anyone they could hurt. Even if that's my DH or my Dad.

Jesus wept. He was sent 44 images showing the of the sexual abuse of children - the bulk of which were over a 2 month period. So for more than 2 months he was happily receiving sick images, which he discussed with the fellow paedophile. Only when sent a video of the sexual abuse of a child aged between 7-9 which the other man described as looking ‘quite young’ did Edwards tell him not to send him anything illegal. He was presumably quite happy with the other images he was sent of child sex abuse though.

Have you given any thought to how this fellow paedophile know to contact Edwards via social media in the first place? How did he know this random public figure would be open to discussing and viewing child sex abuse? It can’t have been a speculative contact. I rather suspect he is/was known amongst fellow nonces.

Please don’t be a paedophile apologist. It’s not a good look.

Adult male transgresses Societal norms - cue everyone feeling sorry for him, understanding, forgiving, loving wife stands by in the face of a probable shit show……

For example Teenager lashes out in anger ( been abused, let down, left with limited options in life) prison, drug addiction, homelessness here we come because somehow we have less compassion for this person

It must be very difficult OP when this happens in the family however - the number of men who partake in this abuse is staggering ( and a few females - Vanessa George)
As a society we have our priorities wrong - we live in a world where men are put on pedestals, highly paid and then everyone understands he just had so much stress he had to click on images ( as young as 7 we are told) to relive his stress

It’s not child porn - it’s abuse. Someone’s son or daughter. Perhaps they are poor perhaps the parents are not very competent perhaps they conspire to involve their children because they know no better

I would not engage with your FIL for a second. His actions are heinous

Looks like @therunningman is not coming back - either because he is weak (no surprise given he is a paedophile sympathiser) or just started this thread for kicks

I agree with the OP about the impact on family, and indeed on work colleagues, not all of whom were highly paid presenters.

In no way does that reduce my disgust and abhorrence at what Huw Edwards has done, and his accomplice.

Out of the character that he showed to you, you mean. It's not something anyone announces.

Probably not "out of the blue" either. Most of them do it for some time before being caught.

It's not unreasonable for your wife doesn't want to know him. (Do you want to be matey with any sex offenders you're not related to?). Count yourself lucky she doesn't insist on you cutting him off as well. If you and she can agree to differ and just not talk about him, that really is the best you can hope for.

I wonder if Jesus forgives these men? Clearly no one on this thread would, but what about religious people who preach forgiveness? I’m not religious but it got me wondering - is there forgiveness or any redemption possible?

Christianity teaches that God forgives anyone who sincerely repents. But that doesn't mean us mere humans need to ignore the dangers being around sex offenders or letting then anywhere near children. Only God can know Edwards' heart.

On the contrary. I had no qualms whatsoever about opening this thread, and am not surprised or offended by the tirade of replies (I haven't read them all). Let me be clear, I am no paedophile sympathiser. I choose to continue an "arms length" relationship with my dad, my wife doesn't, and that's fine. My sibling and partner have decided differently and we are not going to let that come between us either. You are free to decide that they are paedophile sympathisers if you wish to, of course.

The point is to highlight the unholy mess that families often have to adjust to and live with, and is forgotten about after the event. Huw Edwards has 5 children (and let's suppose partners). Some of they may want to shun him, some won't, and some will be rowing with their partners soon enough. Who here is to say which of them are right or wrong? They will each react differently and have their reasons.

It's a sad sorry mess for any family to live with, that's all. No guidebook, as I wrote in the OP.

Unfair and harsh on OP who has been dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions

Well Huw wasn’t thinking about his family was he, so why should people who don’t know them?

Who here is to say which of them are right or wrong?

Those of us that know that having an interest in child sexual abuse is wrong, and would rightly have nothing to do with anyone who has an interest it, can absolutely say you and your sibling are wrong not to shun your father. That is those of us who don't think in an unhealthy way and who don't feel the need to stay in contact with very bad people just because they're family. You're father is messed up, it's no wonder that the children of people like him are sometimes also messed up in some way.

I agree. All of you posters vowing that you would cut the perpetrator off without a second thought, really don't understand the complexities of a situation like this. Thankfully it's one I have never been in but I can spare a little empathy for people caught up in it through no fault of theirs.

@Fairyliz I think you would have to be a very hard person to not see what hell his family must be living through.

Oh come on, we all know what he did was very, very wrong!

Don't make insinuations about people, when you clearly cannot even vaguely comprehend what families endure as a result of their loved one's crimes.

Child safeguarding should be the top of everyone's priorities and keeping away from paedophiles is the very essence of that. By choosing any sort of relationship with a paedophile you are completely disregarding the safety of children.

Even if the children are never, ever in the company of the paedophile? As in this case?

I’m sorry - what? There is zero difficult question here. You cut them out point blank period. I speak from experience, as my uncle was prosecuted with the same and received a custodial sentence. He is dead to me, as are the family who stood by him.

There is absolutely and clearly a right or wrong and it would be the end of my marriage if my husband did not immediately detach entirely from any family member convicted these crimes.

Oh come on, we all know what he did was very, very wrong!

Don't make insinuations about people, when you clearly cannot even vaguely comprehend what families endure as a result of their loved one's crimes.

How do you know what I can comprehend? You have no idea what I have endured.

Loved ones.....anyone who still classes someone who is interested in abusing children as a loved one is messed up. It's tied up in family. duty, obligation etc, not because they're a good person. It's fucked up.

I agree. All of you posters vowing that you would cut the perpetrator off without a second thought, really don't understand the complexities of a situation like this. Thankfully it's one I have never been in but I can spare a little empathy for people caught up in it through no fault of theirs.

Then it's you who doesn't understand. I've been there and did cut them off. You meanwhile have no fucking clue and are speaking nonsense based on what you imagine! How disgusting.

There are what 60 million people in the Uk I cannot care about all of them.
Even if I did care about them what difference would it make; I don’t know them and they don’t know me.
Stop making excuses for defending a paedo by doing the whole ‘what about the family’. What about the poor abused children they are the ones who deserve my sympathy.

People really need to think what these sickos are doing, what they're looking at, what they're getting off on...children being sexually abused. Anyone that has any sympathy for them are sick in the head. I can have sympathy for a family losing the person they thought their husband, brother, father etc was, but I have no sympathy at all for those who keep in contact, or worse still, like OP, keeps in contact and tries to gain sympathy. It's sick.

Oh there is absolutely a right and wrong. I have no doubt his wife, children, close family and friends are reeling and most likely cannot believe that this once revered man has such a dark side. I have every sympathy for them. His wife is divorcing him, I believe.
However, just a split second of thought for the children being raped in the video removes all doubt. Unthinkable.
And if you have children or are close to children that similar ages to those in the photos and videos…it makes me feel sick.
Enjoying holidays together, Christmases, sharing a bed with him. Incomprehensible.

I wouldn't care who it was in my family, I'd cut them off immediately. I doubt I'd ever want to be in the same room again as someone who had been convicted of something so awful. I could never put my children in the position of keeping in touch with a person knowing that someone had willingly viewed pictures of that nature when I have children. It's inconceivable.

What a hateful and untrue post!!! Not even going to dignify it by replying!