Huw Edwards case - the impact on family

[therunningman]

Spare a thought for Huw Edwards family today. They must be going through hell and feeling deeply conflicted right now. This is something that will reverberate through their lives for years to come. And being such a public figure, impossible to forget or box away as a "family secret" (yes, every family has them) in the future.

I write from bitter experience. Some years ago my dad was similarly prosecuted and pleaded guilty. Completely out of character and out of the blue. Outcome was some sort of supervision order. No custodial or suspended sentence.

Fast forward today and my wife refuses to have anything to do with my parents, they are persona non grata to her, completely. On the other hand I refused to "cancel" my dad just like that. This has placed a huge strain on our marriage and mental health at times. To compound difficulties my sibling and their partner found a way to forgive. They remain very close to my parents and holiday with them and do all the usual family stuff Christmas etc. regularly. Watching that is very hard for me. (You'll notice I've written parents, yes they remained together.)

It's all too easy to join a braying mob ("peado!") but very very difficult for close family to navigate. There is no right or wrong answer and certainly no guidebook.

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really?

There is no greater test of your marriage than that (or indeed your relationship with you in-laws), trust me.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jul/27/husband-viewing-child-abuse-images

This article was in the guardian over the weekend. Interesting read from the wife's point of view.

It wouldn't be much of a test for our marriage, actually. Convicted sex offender = no contact with our DC, ever, and ideally no contact with the rest of us either.

I read this and thought the self serving narrative of the husband the more interesting. Her efforts to be “normal” will probably hurt her in the long run.

I'm really not in the mood to be mansplained to this week.

Or he said that in case he got caught.

He carried on conversing with a fucking paedophile.

I would cut him out completely and I would expect my DH to as well. I don't think I would want anything to do with family members who stood by either. I don't feel sorry for family members who stand by these men even if I recognise that it may be difficult for them.

I'm with your DW all the way. I'd cut contact with all the family making excuses for him and still seeing him. If that included you, I'd divorce you as I just couldn't stomach looking at you.

This has made me wonder if you'd cut off a DC who did similar. (Obviously not excusing it)

Men like your father can never be rehabilitated. He’s sick in his mind. It IS his character. Over my dead body would I let my children near him. Back up your wife.

anyone who acts upon their urges towards children be that physically or online automatically waives their right to be treated with any humanity in my book. but that’s just me!

Fucking grown up, jealous because your sibling goes on holiday with a pervert! Obviously you have a fucked ip family, glad your wife is protecting your children

perfect reply

You say there is no wrong or right answer for close family. Yes there is. Don't continue to support someone who abuses children.
As a side note your wife is awesome and is not allowing an abuser or an abuser supporter to dictate how she should think or behave.

It’s so clear cut and yet it isn’t , if you start somewhere else.

Men seem to swap dirty pictures- share porn.
Some men are interested in ‘twinks’, just like men were interested in Sam Fox.

If men are swapping images like that, many people think nothing of it.

I think it’s disgusting, but it’s legal.

Then, in among the usual pictures, images of children that are 13-15 crop up- which were most of the cat A pictures.

I think it’s a bit like boiling a frog.
It’s gone too far before you know it, you’re up to your neck and complicit with child sexual abuse.

Good moment to see your lawyer and check yourself into rehab.

But he deleted it, ignored it and just carried on with the legal images.

🤢

Does your sister have children OP?

He is evil, the little boys on the videos were under 9 years old. Hope he rots.

I'm not a parent, and can honestly say if anyone in my life was found to be a paedophile that would be the end of them being in my life. If someone is contributing to child abuse by owning images of the same, I don't want them in my life in any capacity. For me, it would not be difficult to navigate, there would be a right answer and I wouldn't need a guidebook.

I do feel for the family in this situation on the assumption they knew nothing about it and have just had their lives turned upside down. Less sympathy for them finding it "hard" to manage their ongoing relationship with someone who gets off on the sexual abuse of children.

I'm going to reserve all my sympathy for the children who were exploited and abused to make those images.

YANBU - his actions affect so many innocent family members and because of him you will always have to pay for his mistakes, despite him launching the grenade.

I don't have an ounce of sympathy for your father, but it's so terribly sad for you, your children and your wife, because you are missinng out on a relationship with him that should have been a given.

It must cut so deep knowing that your brother's children have a grandad/grandparents relationship, and that your children are missinng our on their right to have a grandad.

Do your children ever see your mother?

As a society we have to put the children first.

I also feel sorry for Huw Edwards' children and the shame and confusion they must be feeling.

I wonder how much his wife knew? If your husband had homosexual tendencies and was partial to young men, would or would you not have picked up on this?
I am not victim blaming (and she is a victim of this) but curious...

No way. No offense but your dad should be locked up. There is no way I would stay in touch with my own father let alone a father in law.

I imagine your wife hasn’t divorced you because at least while you’re together she knows she can stop you letting a convicted paedophile near the kids. She doesn’t trust. I wouldn’t either. You’re minimising a sickening crime.

I wonder if this may happen before sentencing actually

@therunningman I agree with your wife but recognise how deeply traumatic this must have been for you, and how conflicted you must be still.

I feel deep sympathy for HE's wife and children. They're his victims too. It's not quite as black and white as some posters seem to think. There has to be an element of "love the sinner, hate the sin" here.

I feel desperately sorry for his wife and children. His wife must be appalled as they were a church going family and how can his children cope with knowing that he ogled children younger than them. Just awful.