Absolutely fuming with H for commenting on DD's eyes

[fumingh]

DD 4 has deep tear troughs. She just does.

So does my H ! She has it from him. I have asked the doc about it, nothing aside from making sure she's hydrated helps apparently.

In any case, he's fucking convinced it's because I don't moisturise her under eye area as much as I should.

I do put cream on her once a day, sometimes at bed time too. But he's never there to see it.

He constantly goes on about it. Not in an obvious way in front of her, but he'll make sure I know what he means. Like saying stuff like ' did you put cream on ? ' whenever he comes home from work and sees her. He says, you need to put cream on. Again, DD doesn't know he means that or her. But it really annoys me because he just keeps saying it.

First of all, I do it. Second of all, it doesn't make any difference, it's just her face- so why does he need to keep going on about it ?

I blew up tonight. I think it's a really shit thing to keep pointing out and it makes me really angry.

Is there something stopping him from putting the cream on her?

Why doesn't he put the cream on?

Yes he is her father why can’t he put the cream on

If she has inherited it from him, and he is very insecure about his own eyes, maybe he is keen to try and prevent her having those insecurities herself?

I say that but I'm 100% with you, it's her face, it's beautiful as it is, we all look difference and we certainly don't need to fix a 4 year old! What is this magic cream that he thinks will change a face

Yeah, he’s a tosser

sounds like parenting is entirely your responsibility

A four year old doesn't need under eye cream. He needs to chill TF out.

Christ. Maybe he's feeling guilty that she's 'taken after him' and wants to (or wants you to) 'fix it'.

What did he say when you had a go at him today?

He's not around at bed or wake up time so those would be the most obvious times. But otherwise he just blames me for not doing it, even though I do it.

Sounds like he has a complex about his own and that's why he won;t shut up about it, and at this rate he will give your DD a complex.

BTW I never knew they were called that. Does moisturiser really make any difference? Especially on a young child?

Man blames woman for something that's not her fault. Tell me something new 🙄

You should offer to do his every time you do hers, until he gets it into his head that they are genetically the same. Plonker of a man!

If this doesn't stop him though tell him to shut up, unless he wants a child with a big chip.

Are people putting cream on their kids eyes?

Oh my god I would go mad. Tell him she's perfect as she is and you will not be putting eye cream on a child any longer. I would never want to hear it mentioned again.

Is he especially conscious of his own?

Does he know he has them? Or is he in some kind of denial about himself, and it’s easier to maintain the denial if he can blame hers on dehydrated skin?

Have you actually said “she inherited your face, get the fuck over it.”

Are they dark? If so it might be anemia or allergies (allergy shiners).

It doesn't make a difference - lots of kids have that and then as their face grows it changes.

It's dehydration as well that can make it worse or vitamin deficiencies.

I don't think cream does anything.

I have it a bit too. It's just my face.

His isn't bad either. Hers is the most pronounced but she's a kid.

I think some people just get verbal diarrhoea and have no comprehension that they might be being hurtful. Maybe just explain to him that highlighting it may make her insecure and that also you are putting the cream on regularly and he just needs to stop bringing it up.

He needs to stop emotionally abusing his child!

Does he moisturise his own?
If he does then point out it's not reduced them so why does he think it will with her (also it doesn't matter anyway!)
If he doesn't then tell him to do his own and see if he thinks it does anything.

Make it his job

Babies do not need face cream. Throw it away.

Make sure she's hydrated and eats well like any good parent would do for their DC and leave it at that. If he's so desperate to use moisturiser he can do it.

Or better still, stop it altogether. A little girl doesn't need to think that she needs cream to make something on her face less unpalatable. Madness.