Absolutely fuming with H for commenting on DD's eyes

[fumingh]

DD 4 has deep tear troughs. She just does.

So does my H ! She has it from him. I have asked the doc about it, nothing aside from making sure she's hydrated helps apparently.

In any case, he's fucking convinced it's because I don't moisturise her under eye area as much as I should.

I do put cream on her once a day, sometimes at bed time too. But he's never there to see it.

He constantly goes on about it. Not in an obvious way in front of her, but he'll make sure I know what he means. Like saying stuff like ' did you put cream on ? ' whenever he comes home from work and sees her. He says, you need to put cream on. Again, DD doesn't know he means that or her. But it really annoys me because he just keeps saying it.

First of all, I do it. Second of all, it doesn't make any difference, it's just her face- so why does he need to keep going on about it ?

I blew up tonight. I think it's a really shit thing to keep pointing out and it makes me really angry.

If it isn’t a prescription and she hasn’t got a skin condition a young child doesn’t need cream on her face, let alone multiple times a day. The poor lamb will develop a complex.

Tell DH he can pipe down and there will be no more cream.

I was agreeing with you that it's not bad to moisturise kids.
I'm not sure if it read like that or if it came across as criticism or something?

@IncompleteSenten no not at all. I was just stating what I use and my experience.

Are you both from the UK? Just wondering if the moisturiser is a cultural thing.

Unless this is a health related issue, what a weird thing for him to fixate on. Certain things genetic and no amount of cream will undo that.

One day she's start to notice what he's on about and he'll give her a complex about it.

I’m 31 with perfect under eyes (well they are dark but plump nothing concealer can’t cover). I eat shit, rarely moisturize and get around 5 hours of sleep. It’s genetics. Had a chubby face my whole life and it’s finally coming into its own.

Your husband is ignorantly on this matter.

Exactly this!! What’s this cream being used?!

Oh good. I'm glad. Thanks.

He thinks moisturiser will affect tear troughs? On a four year old? He sounds a bit daft.

Just by the by…Queen Victoria wrote about how unattractive her son Bertie’s eyes were. They were 100% her eyes and she was projecting her own insecurities on him. Who does it help? No one.

This. Most likely you will be disturbing her skin's acid mantle and microbiome as a lot of creams are filled with rubbish (including children's cream). Ffs - she's a child!

Stop putting unnecessary cream on your child and tell your husband to shut up.

I am flabbergasted.

It's trying to beautify a child ffs. Crazy.

TBF it can easily be a cultural thing if they are both from the U.K.

(But, either way. he's still daft to think cream will help tear troughs.)

So many red flags here. Time to upsticks and think about your future without him. You deserve so much better than this.

What are deep tear troughs?

My children are mixed w British and b African but it's not a culture thing. It's a skin thing. It gets very dry.

It's just the shape of someone face

Right so WHY are you fucking about with cream and making it a "thing" as if she needs daily medication on her face.
Because it's not just about a general face moisturizer now is it? You are applying it as an eye cream

You are in the wrong. So is your husband.

What exactly does he think cream is going to do?

She's enabling it.

He can do it in the morning then

Natural shadows under the eyes.

The moisturising has nothing to do with how she looks.

It's because she's prone to eczema and her skin can get dry. That's it. Doctor recommended the routine we have.

Nothing to do with her eyes.

My mum moisturised us daily too.

Moisturising is not a big deal.

I also moisturise my kids after a bath. It's not that weird.

Your DH is an asshole for going on about it.
As an aside I have an 8 and 10 year old and have never moisturised their face, I never thought kids needed it. I don't mosturise their body either except for using eczema cream where my sone needed it.
It makes sense you would use cream on your DD has ezcema but the underage thing is weird and I can't believe it has any impact!

You need to have a massive word with you DH and explain this to him, then. He seems to think (like the people on this thread) that you are applying the cream to change what her face looks like. You need to make crystal clear to him the cream is not for that, and that he needs to shut the fuck up about her face. It's her face, you're not interested in changing it. This idiot man is so concerned with berating you about applying cream and he doesn't even know what it's for, pathetic.

My 4 year old has these too, by the way. Genuinely it has never once occured to me to try and change what he looks like. I didn't even know the term, but I can see it now I've googled it. What your DH is doing is very damaging. Your DD looks perfect, just like my DS does.