Absolutely fuming with H for commenting on DD's eyes

[fumingh]

DD 4 has deep tear troughs. She just does.

So does my H ! She has it from him. I have asked the doc about it, nothing aside from making sure she's hydrated helps apparently.

In any case, he's fucking convinced it's because I don't moisturise her under eye area as much as I should.

I do put cream on her once a day, sometimes at bed time too. But he's never there to see it.

He constantly goes on about it. Not in an obvious way in front of her, but he'll make sure I know what he means. Like saying stuff like ' did you put cream on ? ' whenever he comes home from work and sees her. He says, you need to put cream on. Again, DD doesn't know he means that or her. But it really annoys me because he just keeps saying it.

First of all, I do it. Second of all, it doesn't make any difference, it's just her face- so why does he need to keep going on about it ?

I blew up tonight. I think it's a really shit thing to keep pointing out and it makes me really angry.

You said at 21:52 that your DH believes that her eyes are like that because you don't moisturise her face, according to him.

Then you said you do it because she's prone to Eczema. That is what is causing the confusion......

Wow, I'm surprised at the number of people who don't moisturise their children's faces. Not that that is a bad thing, just that it has always been a part of our routine since the kids were babies and we'd put their lotion on them before bed, and when they wake up, and I always rub some on to their faces, too. I thought it was completely normal, and now I realise I am a weirdo 😂

This is so bizarre. I had to google deep tear troughs as I'd never heard of it before, it seems I have them, although amazingly I've made it through 4 decades and no one has recoiled in horror from my hideously imperfect eye area. Looking at the sets of before and after pics on cosmetic surgery websites, I think the women looked better before.

Why is this even an issue at 4??

WTF I have 3 adult children and I never moisturised their faces!

What new witchery is this!?

Isn’t it the case for most creams that aren’t specific for under the eyes to actually stay away from around the eye area?

I wouldn’t be putting any cream near her eyes that ain’t meant to be there. Sure moisturise the rest of her face but what does DH think it’s going to achieve if it’s not specific for under her eyes anyway?

FFS I am in my early 60s with good skin and I don't even moisturise my own skins!!

Bloody hell, the world has gone mad!

@Runnerinthenight I am clearly in the minority 😂 I just thought that's what you do! Cream them up, then the leftovers on your hands get smushed into their little cheeks. I've spent five years doing it all wrong! 😂

Though, my kids do have dry skin if we are lax with their cream and skip it. They are mixed race and DP tells me that melanated skin is more prone to dryness than white skin, so I've just always followed his lead in doing their cream and he's always put a little on their face so I've followed suit.

It's one of those things I've always done, but didn't realise wasn't the "done thing" until I read this thread 😂

I am literally just stunned!! My children are 27, 25 and 20 and the only cream I've ever put on their faces has been suncream! I don't think young skins need it.

I will say my DC1 had dry skin, but it was because I was bathing her every day!

How odd!

Your DP is absolutely right @PassMeTheCookies . Ignore the faux outrage.

Um why is everyone jumping on the OP for moisturising her child? Skin needs moisturising to keep it healthy, it’s your biggest organ, the sun and weather extremities dry skin out, especially in the UK where the weather is constantly changing. Even more so if your child is prone to eczema, and if your child has brown or black skin you can literally see dry skin if it’s not moisturised. This is why you see people walking around in their 20s and 30s and 40s with damaged skin because they haven’t been taught how to look after it!

OP keep moisturising you child, but per your original question, no your husband should not be commenting on your daughter’s eyes, he will give her a complex! Just make sure she is hydrated and slept well, and tell your husband to zip it!

@fumingh

I don't think it's 'weird' to put a quality cream on a child. I lived in a dry climate and it wasn't unusual to rub some cream on them after a bath.

But, as far as your DH goes, is it really about the cream per se, or is it a reason for him to 'pick at you' to make you feel inadequate. Does he do this in other aspects of your marriage, even in small ways like rearranging the dishwasher or running a finger on a surface and looking at it? Does he find you 'wanting' in other ways, like not knowing something/how to do something that 'everybody knows? If so, you need to think about that and what it implies.

If not and if this is truly the only thing he goes on about, tell him that he's now on cream duty, no matter what time it is. A few times of dealing with a grumpy DD who's been woken up to have cream on will shut him up.

So fucking weird. But your husband is off the chain weird.

What's with all the " I didn't moisturise my children, therefore, your child doesn't need moisturising" Even after the OP has repeatedly explained why her child needs moisturising the same ignorance continues.
How hard is it to think of the reasons why some may need to moisturise their faces/skin while others don't? Dry skin, certain skin conditions, to keep the skin healthy etc. Dark skinned people are more likely to moisturise because dry skin is more visible. The same applies to children.

God, the ‘children don’t need their faces moisturised’ comments are so white.

I've never hears of a ''Tear trough'' and had to google.

I have seen them on people, but put it down to tiredness.

Four year old having cream on them?

That's crazy.

I’ve googled them as didn’t know what they were, and it appears I have them!

WTF have I just read.

Firstly nothing wrong with moisturising your children’s face especially if it gets a bit dry. All posters who think it’s weird…. are also weird.

OP- from your original post, it sounded like your DH wanted you to moisturise under her eye to help with the deep tear troughs? Is that correct? Slightly confused by this.

But the skin under the eyes is so delicate a normal moisturiser isn’t usually recommended

i have them. they are literally just the shape of the face and NOTHING will change them, creams will do absolutely nothing. and they look fine, anyway. are you completely sure your husband knows this? he sounds like an idiot. tell him that if he is so hung up on the moisturiser he can do it himself, he has two working hands.

Why would you put moisturiser on a kids face? And wtf is a tear trough?

Worlds gone mad

These "skincare" companies have done a right number on some people it seems now I've read back.

An absolute racket

Tell me you're white, without telling me you're white...

But no one moisturises their children’s face!

A lot of pp are saying this, but I used to put cream on my kid's faces. Their adults now.
I'm black, so it's normal for most black people that I know too put cream on their entire body, face included.

My mum used to cream my face as a kid too.

The eye troughs are part of her and cream will not make a difference.
Tell him to stop bothering you with it.