Absolutely fuming with H for commenting on DD's eyes

[fumingh]

DD 4 has deep tear troughs. She just does.

So does my H ! She has it from him. I have asked the doc about it, nothing aside from making sure she's hydrated helps apparently.

In any case, he's fucking convinced it's because I don't moisturise her under eye area as much as I should.

I do put cream on her once a day, sometimes at bed time too. But he's never there to see it.

He constantly goes on about it. Not in an obvious way in front of her, but he'll make sure I know what he means. Like saying stuff like ' did you put cream on ? ' whenever he comes home from work and sees her. He says, you need to put cream on. Again, DD doesn't know he means that or her. But it really annoys me because he just keeps saying it.

First of all, I do it. Second of all, it doesn't make any difference, it's just her face- so why does he need to keep going on about it ?

I blew up tonight. I think it's a really shit thing to keep pointing out and it makes me really angry.

Erm.. ok?

There are many people who do, we aren't talking anti aging moisturiser products here were talking moisturiser. There can be many reasons, skin feeling tight after washing, or being out in the sun. Skin conditions. Fresh scarring.

DH randomly moisturises DD’s cheeks because she has mild eczema. You DH has plenty of opportunities to do it himself. Also he could stop fussing over it, she looks how she looks and he should leave everyone alone about it. DD has a prominent birth mark, we never mention it, not because we are avoiding it on purpose. It’s just not a problem for us because we don’t care much how she looks.

You're both going to be giving your child a complex. She's going to be insecure about her face. She doesn't need cream.

In nursing school we called these "allergic shiners" and are common in people with allergies. Tell him to back off before he causes psychological damage to his child.

How do you know she doesn't need cream? She might not need it for the troughs

😅😅

Yes that was my thought. Moisturise your child as much as you want but…. under the eyes?? That’s weird unless you have very specifically got eczema there and you’re using prescribed hydrocortisone cream or whatever. But that’s not moisturising, that’s eczema treatment.

i just feel that you have every right to be angry at your husband but I don’t get how the moisturising thing has been linked to helping her ‘deep tear troughs’. That deluded assumption should have been shut down ages ago.

It's good that you told him to pack it in! You are absolutely correct

Ps creams will never help with appearance of tear toughs

I live in Canada and rarely had to do that with my kids, not even in winter. I just used a mild cleanser when I bathed them and kept a humidifier on in the winter. It's the dry indoor air that causes the problem in a cold climate, not the cold itself.

The op has clearly stated that her child does not have eczema under her eyes. She has stated that she is using eczema cream near her child’s eyes because her husband tells her to. Her husband is telling her to do this as he (wrongly) thinks that the child’s “deep tear troughs” need correcting and that applying eczema cream near the eyes will help with this.

The op has stated she is applying this cream even though it won’t help, to placate her husband.

This has nothing to do ethnicity whatsoever.

I wonder if people in this thread are aware that moisturizers often contain formaldehyde (hidden under other names) as well as parabens, phthalates, chemical fragrances and alcohol?
That's hardly a healthy thing to be putting on a child. If you must do it, choose a product without those ingredients. Read the label. Google all the names manufacturers hide formaldehyde under so you know what to look for. I'm surprised by how few people seem to know what's in the stuff they put on their skin.

Well he must be either blind or stupid if he can’t see that he has a deep tear trough too and that she clearly inherited it from him! He’s obviously deflecting but god knows why.

Wonder away! What's the point of your post, it smells like you're very keen to be "better" than other people.

Different strokes for different folks. I put lotion like child's farm, e45, cerave balm or moisturiser or aquaphor (big jars) on my kids faces and bodies. My parents used baseline lotion or gunk (yes the evil petroleum jelly) on us. I lotion my entire body most times or at least legs, arms and face. It's just how I grew up. Sue my parents 😂😘

My god people on this thread are annoying! Some kids need moisturiser some don’t. I never did as a child, it wasn’t part of my routine but our child gets dry, chapped skin on their face (and eyelids for the record) so guess what…we moisturise it with prescribed E45 cream. Nothing to do with a skincare routine or their appearance. It’s just to make them comfortable. I double checked with the GP that it’s safe of their eyelids and they assured me if I used it sparingly it would be fine. What happens between seeing words on a screen and then your brains processing and interpreting the words that makes you all add random things that the OP didn’t say?!

Also formaldehyde isn’t itself a dangerous or bad thing. We just associate the word with chemicals and preserving dead things so it creates some sort of panicked judgement.

There is nothing to “fix” though us there?

Well I'm not for one minute suggesting that OP get her 4 year old filler and bleaching cream am I! However as an adult, it has made a remarkable difference to my own under eye area.

The op clearly said that the child does not have eczema or dry skin around her eyes

The real problem here is that husband dislikes the look of his daughter's face.

maybe it is a form of guilt, if as the op says she inherited it from her dad.

I know that. I was responding to all the pearl clutching about moisturising a child’s face and the people who are saying you can’t moisturise a child’s eyes. You can if it needs it. OP’s child might not but it’s not the crazy and dangerous idea people seem to think it is.

WTF are you talking about? The point of it is to inform people of the presence of toxic chemicals. Duh.
You seem quite hypersensitive. Do some work on that.

@XChrome I'm sure people didn't need you to inform them, they're quite able to read the back of a bottle. You're not giving away a secret.

Total bullshit. Lots of people don't know either about the presence of these chemicals in moisturizer or that they are toxic. Lots of people don't read labels. It's particularly uncommon for people to know that the manufacturers hide formaldehyde under different names. You're just being nitpicky because you hate being shown to be wrong with your silly accusations about people's motives.
So you double down instead of being a decent person and apologizing. Disgraceful. Now fuck off.