To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

Your advice reminds me of Daniel Pelka. His mother told everyone including his school, not to feed him extra, and the poor child starved to death. In plain sight, in modern day Britain.

Not read the whole thread but someone has advised you to report this as a safeguarding concern I hope?
It could be nothing but if school have already spotted other signs of underfeeding it paints a picture.

Mt DGD I'd 5 eats like a horse. She isn't overweight but obviously needs the energy. Also she has allergy issues which we always make people aware of. I wouldn't have given my child a packed lunch seems so rude. Don't offer in future. Such a rude person.

This exact post was on Reddit a couple of weeks ago from a different user.

Isn’t this a sort of perfect example of passive aggression ( in the true sense)?

Just put 👍.

'Please in future can you stick to what I provide'? 😆 so she assumes you're going to look after her again? Just tell her, dc said she was still hungry, I'm not about to have a child under my roof and deny her when the rest of us are eating, I told her she could leave what she didn't want and she ate it all, maybe I was a bit too generous with the cake, but she didn't finish the 2nd piece, so she was obviously full. I'm sorry, did she not want her dinner? Is that why?

Which is about what it all amounts to. No one forced her, and did she just not eat dinner?

You couldn’t have won op without more specific instructions. If you had denied her and said “ no you’ve got your own lunch box “ when she asked to try what you guys were eating, the mother could equally have been annoyed about that - and personally I think that behaviour would have been worse.

You were missing the key info to avoid a problem which was that the mum needed to say “I want to control and limit the food that passes my dcs lips to the few items I have included in the box.”

I can't believe she's had free childcare and sent a response like that. As a one-off, 2 slices of cake aren't going to do any harm. She obviously doesn't get it at home.
In her position, I would've simply said on any further occasions, 'she only needs the food in her pack up, that's plenty for her'

However, I wouldn't be offering to do her anymore favours.

Unbelievably rude and ungrateful. If she's hungry she's hungry, what's the problem. If she didn't want her child earing extra she should have said that. Not sure howd you'd implement that though.

Sounds like she is over-controlling and potentially setting her child up for issues.

Unless there is a health issue, she should just be grateful somebody has offered to help out and look after her daughter. Sometimes kids are just really hungry and its not the crime of the century to have another slice of cake! I might of said something to my own child about having a 2nd slice but I certainly wouldn't say something to a guest, even if they are only 7.

I think you not replying is the best way forward and sadly I wouldn't offer again to help.

Hardly a full packed lunch for a 7 year old

Oh dear 🙄 The cheek of the woman! 😡

I would reply with, "Oh, I'm sorry, was she poorly after? 🤔 And sorry, but she asked and I couldn't refuse. 🤷‍♀️ I do apologize if I upset her stomach, I feel awful. 🤢

Let's see what she replies. 🧐 If she repeatedly curses, then I'd say, "I think in the future you should ask someone who knows you better to look after your child. 😒 I meant no harm."

To be honest, she wouldn't have had an upset stomach, she was offended in case you thought she didn't provide enough food. 🙄 That's her issue and she was extremely rude to have that attitude with you after you did her a favor. 😤

She didn't say, "Please do not feed my child further to her provided packed lunch." 🙅‍♀️ She's embarrassed that she didn't provide more snacks. 🤦‍♀️

It's you who should be offended, not her! She sounds like an ungrateful mare. 🐴 #EntitledParents #RudePeople #StandUpForYourself

What a CF.
"Never contact me again" would be my response.

If you think she's going to ask you for free childcare again I probably wouldn't reply, just to be amused at how she deals with raising it again. But if you think she won't ask then "Since I won't be looking after your child again this did not require a response," or something along those lines.

I suspect there is a lot in the embarrassment theory.

Its usually people who feel insecure who go aggressive. If she was disappointed she’d move on quietly.

Why the bitchy comment?

She is extremely rude, you were doing her a huge favour and you did nothing wrong!

I obviously wouldn't be doing her a favour again.

The child clearly knows when she's full because she left some of the cake.

I’d have a bit of an issue with two slices of cake as they’d be off their head from the sugar, but if you told me my child was still hungry after her packed lunch and you gave her more food,I’d be thankful. Without asking why I suppose you’ll never know why you can’t give her extra food.

Just send back "I was waiting for you to apologise."

Tell her she was hungry so you gave her food as it seemed cruel not to. And never look after her again. Poor kid.

Woman seems a nut case.

I'd say:
I didn't reply because I assumed you'd texted the wrong person. I think the text to me was meant to say "Thank you for looking after my child"

Sounds like the Mother has issues with food not the child