To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

Sorry just wanted to add that I don't see how I can tell a guest, child or not, that they can't have more food? Seems rude and mean spirited.

She had only met me a few times before this so I wanted her to feel at home

There was also popcorn during a Disney film but it seems she didn't mention that to her mum

Unless she has allergies then you were meant to leave her hungry? Weird!!

I'd probably reply that no further instructions will be necessary, since you won't be providing childcare again. Rude, ungrateful cow!

Jeez, that's harsh!
I don't see any problem with what you did. Clearly she was hungry.
Unless she is on a special diet then I think her mum is being unreasonable.
Be cruel to have a treat and not allow her any!

Mum should have mentioned any dietary requirements to you in advance, particularly as you were doing her a favour.
Well, you’ll know what to say next time she asks!

I don't think any allergies. I did forget to ask! But as an allergy mum, I've always mentioned those things straight away as they're serious.

And also, at 7 (if a child has no special needs), most children say they're allergic I had thought

I'd be texting back, 'I think in future you would be better to ask someone else to do you a favour and look after your child. That way neither of us will be feeling resentful towards the other'.

What a rude person. You did nothing wrong.

Gosh that's quite a lot of food in the space of an afternoon especially the fact she had two slices of cake on top of two meals.

I'm sure her mum was happy you could have her but I can see why she was a bit annoyed about the quantity of food she ate in just a few hours.

Also of course you can tell her she can't have any more surely you do that to your child too?

She was really rude. You were doing her a favour.

My little girl eats a lot less but if someone had said she had eaten all that whilst looking after her for me, I wouldn't have given it a second thought? I genuinely would've at most wondered how they'd got her eating a lot and not think about it again

You did nothing wrong. If she wanted no treats she needed to specify that. And her reaction is really rude.

Your friend was really rude. You just can't sit eating in front of guests and not offer them food.

If she's eating her own lunch then hoovering up loads more food she might have some sort of eating disorder where she can't stop eating and doesn't realise when she's full. I do know someone who does this.

If so the mother should have said something to you when dropping off.

I wouldn’t have given her two slices of cake and I’d be annoyed if you did that with my child.
Your child is much younger but you’re going to have to learn to say no. Two slices of cake is too much for a child, especially after eating a full pack lunch plus whatever other stuff you handed her.

@crockofshite She's only 7. And a very slim, petite child. I didn't think a child that young who looks perfectly fine could have a food issue with consuming too much? I suppose I am wrong. But then it comes back to the parent not mentioning it

Ask her why.

What did you reply to her message?

Surely you responded along the lines of ‘your daughter asked for some of our food and of course I wouldn’t leave her out if we were having cake. I don’t see why this is an issue but as you seem to think so, perhaps you would be better off asking another friend next time you need care for your daughter’.

What was in the packed lunch?

The mother is clearly bloody paranoid about weight. Gorging on cake?

She’s clearly keeping her kid on the hungry side.

The tone of her email is well off.

You would have been genuinely happy with your child having two dinners, two pieces of cake and popcorn in the space of a few hours?

You would have been genuinely happy with your child having two dinners, two pieces of cake and popcorn in the space of a few hours?

As a one off, on a rare occasion with someone she's not use to? Yeah, I really couldn't care less! Just thankful someone has had her and not give it another thought surely

Chicken breast. Some cut up grapes. A few cubes of cheese and a soreen bar

Nothing wrong with that. My DC would eat similar. But her daughter was obviously still hungry

Is the child overweight?

Definitely not. Normal, petite 7 year old