To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

'In future' how presumptuous that you'll ever offer again!!
Is she very overweight? Gorged? Sounds like mum might have an eating disorder

Just read this- perhaps she's under fed due to mum having an eating disorder

Perfect

It wouldn't generally be an issue for me if someone gave my child food, bu I would take it on myself to discuss any preferences before leaving my child with someone. I guess it might also depend on what it was, how much it was and when it was given. If you gave her 2 slices of cake before dinner I might be annoyed if that then meant she didn't eat her main meal or if she was bouncing off the walls before bedtime.

Probably always best to have a conversation beforehand in case of any food preferences, reactions or allergies. She could have raised it or you could have raised it/texted her to check. You're both a little bit unreasonable not to have had that conversation beforehand.

She's addressing you like paid staff.

"Please in future can you stick to what I provide."

What did you reply??

Kids do sometimes overdo it at parties or other people's houses ime. It isn't a big deal as a one off. If she hadn't sent the packed lunch thing, the girl probably would've had just the one dinner.

Different if she was sick or something when she got home though! I remember that happening to me as a kid after a bday party with too much sweet stuff

Fair enough. She's probably just a bit annoyed because her child was sick or refused to eat her dinner then. Just say you won't watch her in future and forget about it.

Yes she was obviously hungry and she ate it. Kids have growth spurts. Sometimes my 6yr old gd will eat several portions and sometimes very little. It wouldn't bother me at all. And OP was doing her mother w favour the tone of her reply was rude.

That's a lot of food for a 7 year old for lunch. I see her mums pov.

What the mum provided sounds like a toddler meal to me. No wonder the girl was hungry!!

I wouldn't have given her two slices of cake and in fact I find that really quite odd because a portion even for an adult is definitely one slice and it's already a treat. In spite of all that though, I think your friend is absolutely crazy and rude. Your house, your rules.

I'd just text back: there is no future

To be fair kids don't just eat if they are hungry. The dinner fair enough she might still have been hungry but most kids mine included would eat multiple pieces of cake if given the chance because they like cake not because they were hungry.

She's extremely rude; I wouldn't be available to her again.

The second slice of cake may have been a bit much but not enough to chastise a generous person who's performing a big favour!

I would have replied

"You don't need to worry as there won't be a next time"

You would have been genuinely happy with your child having two dinners, two pieces of cake and popcorn in the space of a few hours?

^

Yup..if someone looks after my child, then yes, this is fine.

Please in the future, do not make any plans that do not include your child.

Yours, Cake Feeder.

She was rude!
If she wanted you to stick to the provided food then she should have made that clear at the start.

If I was caring for a child then I’d give them food if they wanted it unless told otherwise.

Did she literally say "gorged"?????

I don't think a few slices of chicken breast a few grapes , a couple of cubes of cheese and a and a screen Bar is very filling for a 7 year old child

I haven't replied at all

I probably wouldn't have given her the second slice of cake . But most kids I have looked after have known when they have had enough. OP said she left part of the second slice of cake so she did know when she had enough.

Wouldn't give a toss about it tbh - this person is doing me a favour.

Well she was quite rude but that does sound like quite a lot of extra food. Depends on portion size a bit.
I presume you knew for sure she’s not allergic or intolerant to anything?
I have to say I don’t think I’d feed someone else’s child an extra lunch and 2 slices of cake in one sitting.

When my DD has a growth spurt she starts eating a lot before we notice she is growing.

Anyway the mother deliberately didn't given her DD bread, pasta, rice, potatoes or any other carbs.

While sometimes children refuse to eat their bread you still give them a decent carb.

Anyway due to the size of the child and the mother's tone it appears the mother has an eating disorder as children need to eat differently to adults.