To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

It sounds like the mum has an issue with food and is being controlling about what her daughter eats. I have a child of that age and what you’ve said was in the packed lunch wouldn’t sustain them. Kids have growth spurts where they can go for a few days eating more than an adult! She sounds like she’s got issues with food, you were being hospitable!

Doesn’t sound much of a friend to me.

Perhaps just reply “Thanks for the offer of my babysitting for you in future but I have thought about it and will give it a miss.”

Hilarious! Please do this op! And then update!

Sounds like she is super controlling around food. Those red velvet cakes are rather large though and two slices of those would be quite a lot for a young child. If I were her I’d probably have a little tut to myself but put it down to her having a wee treat and I certainly wouldn’t send a rude reply like that.
I would reply
‘Noted. Don’t worry, there won’t be an ‘in future’, rather presumptuous of you to assume there would be’

I'm craving for cakes now after reading this thread! Red velvet cake sounds lovely.

There's something not right going on here! The mother is restricting food and the poor child is clearly hungry. Future eating disorder incoming, could you have a word with the parents perhaps?
I'd be anxious to alienate this family and let this child potentially starve :(

In my house (with no issue raised around food etc when dropping off) this is what I provide. Take the free child care or leave it!

I knew this reminded me of a child abuse case.

That's plenty for a 7 year old! I'd have been annoyed as well if you'd fed my child a whole second lunch, 2 pieces of cake and popcorn!
You're basically saying "you aren't feeding your child enough"

She can look after her own child in future, ungrateful cow!!

Nope. If you have requirements you expect your child to ridigly stick to when with other people it's your obligation to let them know your expectations, not for the people doing you a favour to chase you up for information.

I can picture her as Amanda from motherland. She sounds seriously rude!

I think I would reply, "My silence should speak for itself. Please don't ask me to look after her again. She's a lovely girl, but I'm not going to do a favour for someone who treats me like staff."

I’d be so happy if my child had come over and eaten pack lunch and more! Your a mum id be quite happy to leave my little one with. Mum seems to want to control (even if it’s a pack lunch) children need to try different things and usually that won’t be done at home. Everyone eats different and love the fact a child has communicated they wished to try your food. I wouldn’t worry and brush it off. Next time either decline baby sitting or advise them to pack extra food and snacks incase child is still hungry needing more after a fun play date.

Another modern day control freak who uses food as a tool.
You did nothing wrong. A 7 year old is plenty old enough to know whether they want it/can eat it or not.

It's odd that people would be annoyed at someone feeding their child something a bit extra. Maybe they had a busy day and felt more hungry. How many of you with a bee in your bonnet eat cake , crisps, any kind of food just for the enjoyment and not when really hungry.

How on earth is she saying that? At 7 child is old enough to speak ,accept, refuse, etc for itself.
And there was absolutely no need to speak to favour doer like that.

That's so rude! She really is treating you like a member of staff.
I would just ignore her, put her messages on mute etc, she's set fire to the ashes with that message.

I would be fuming! She has food issues and will probably withhold food from her child and cause future eating issues.

Poor kid must have been really hungry, my 4yr old would need more food at lunch than this.

I can’t imagine saying no to a hungry kid, what were you supposed to do? “No small child, you can’t have anymore food”. If I found out DD had more than one bit of cake. I’d roll my eyes and then give her a good bit of water.

I’d also be horrified that I hadn’t sent her with enough food and feel quite embarrassed about it rather than angry that someone didn’t deny her more food.

If there was a health issue I would make it really clear to anyone looking after my child what that was. This just sounds really controlling around food. It’s also completely normal that kids get hungry before growth spurts, they are building bones and muscle. Last growth spurt Dd went up a shoe size over a two weeks of eating everything in sight.

Good grief, she's spoiling for fight 😂 I'd ignore her now.

This

I'd reply with
I generally ignore rude people.
Your dd was a delight by the way, I assume she takes after her df.

What a cheeky cow! And her poor DD. I watch what my son eats of course but if he was with someone else, I would never ever police what they fed him. Especially as she was clearly hungry. Poor kid.
That mother sounds horrid. You were doing her a favour!

Some people DONT feed their kids enough. LIke a power trip. Look how skinny they are, my kid wont be the obese one blah blah.

You sound like this type of parent.

Take a chill pilll. It was a one off. ALL food is fine so long as it's not eaten in excessive quantities day after day.