This school mum is really pissing me off now !!!

[bigca]

She's so judgemental I feel.

She came to my house for a play date with her child, before I really knew what she was like of course...

She pulled me up on a couple of things I said about my DD. I posted about it at the time. I think I said she can be a bit stubborn and she told me not to say it. A couple of other similar comments. She also went all out praising her child A LOT.

Anyway, I decided there and then that I will never have a play date again ( unless requested by my child of course ).

I continue to be polite, but she's really grating on me now. She's always saying she can't understand my DD.

Yesterday my DD said my name. She said ' my mummy's name is Amelia ' to which the lady was like: ' I thought your name is Emilia '. Or some minor BS. My DD says my name just fine, I responded and said ' it's Amelia ' just like she said. To which she said ' no she said Emilia. It sounded like Emilia '. ( names changed of course ). The long and short of it is that however my DD said it, is how my name is said, she was just being nit picky. She also told my DD off because my DD found a loud noise funny.

Then today she was again hanging around us and my DD said something else- to which the mum asked me again ' what did she say ? ' she keeps not being able to understand my child and it's pissing me off. My DD wasn't even talking to her.

We went on a school trip the other day and she was also there. She just kept picking up on small things and making fun of me not being able to look after my group. I had the youngest kids in my group and sometimes I had to herd them along a bit. She had fewer children in her group and thought she was nailing it compared to me, of course.

I get the feeling she judges my DD all the time now, especially because she keeps saying she doesn't understand what she's saying.

Anyway, she really pisses me off now and I keep having to see her around. I don't know how I'm going to shut her up. But I'm afraid one day I am just going to snap and be quite direct with her.

In my head it will go something like : ' sorry, do you realise how terribly judgemental you come across ? ' ' you're constantly making nasty comments about my parenting and also judging my child. Can you just back off ? '

I hope they're not in the same class next year. They're both only 4 and start reception in September.

She's decided that you are below her in the pecking order and is letting you know that she is considerably better than you. She's probably done it before and the people she has done it do will have fallen in line.

I think you have handled it well so far.

She definitely thinks she is the better parent and her child is better behaved and I didn't know what I'm doing.

I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut for as long as you have. Fair play to you for keeping your cool. Has anyone else seen this bullshit behaviour because if you do flip on her it would be good to know that people won't think your being an arse for no reason

Do you mean you were saying negative things about your dd in front of your dd and she told you you shouldn't?

"She also told my DD off because my DD found a loud noise funny" < insert rude mum name here* don't tell my child off - then stare at her .....

"What did she say?" ..... she wasn't taking to you - then stare .....

After I said a few of these things to one of the school mums at my DDs school she finally got the message and stopped speaking to me; I then avoided her for the rest of the years at school lol this started in year 1 😂😂😂😂

Tell her she needs to get her hearing checked next time she bullies your DD.

Or tell her to fuck off, I'd probably do both.

I would visibly, deliberately, roll my eyes hard at her.

So she knows you aren't a pushover and the ball is in her court whether to pick the battle. And start moving away from her. "Oh i just need to talk to DD/other mum, teacher, can you give us a moment" and cross the playground to avoid her.

This is bullying and you need to stand up to her.

If she keeps saying she can't understand your daughter I would tell her either something wrong with her hearing or she is doing it in purpose

I didn't say bad things about my DD in front of her. I just said she can be stubborn and strong willed. DD was not in ear shot.

I was very natural with her telling her about a holiday we'd had with both of the kids last year and how much hard work it was getting them to the beach etc. and how they're both very lively, spirited kids. I didn't say bad things about my kids. But just that they're very lively. Her child is very compliant and quiet. Which I didn't know before we started to spend time together.

I have a toddler as well as a 4 year old and last year's summer holiday was a lot of work.

She picked up on the fact I said DD can be stubborn. I also took my younger one's dummy out of his mouth and she made sure to tell me something about respecting kids and not taking stuff from them. That kind of vibe.

You know what? If she can be a tit then so can you. Give back what she gives you! She tells you not to take things from your child tell her to mind her own damn business.

This would drive me nuts as well.

I'd probably avoid if possible, though I understand it isn't always doable.

If you're not bothered about any future contact/friendship, I'd probably roll my eyes and tell her to fuck off. If you are, I'd go down the 'head tilt, are you ok ' route.

Life is too short for this

Good luck

The next time she behaves in this bullying way (and there will be a next time), your pre-rehearsed comment "you're constantly making nasty comments about my parenting and also judging my child. Can you just back off?" is absolutely spot on!

I feel really uncomfortable around her now. Like she's always there watching to see me or my DD trip up.

My DD ran a couple of steps away from me in the car park at school the other day..

She lets her child run up until you get to the car park and trusts him to stop.

Sometimes my DD tries to run with him, but I always try to stop her because I don't trust she's ready.

Anyway, then the other day, my DD made a dash a couple of steps around our car. Nothing happened, but it was terrible of course that she did that.

Of course judgy superior mum told me the next day that she saw everything and agrees she should not run with her son. It's like she's always there waiting for me or DD to trip up.

I'd have told her where to go by now. What an absolute b*tch she is

She’s been a hypocrite of the first order hasn’t she! Telling you not to say anything (seemingly) detrimental about your own child then going on to be really spiteful in her hearing.

Is she a performance mummy OP?

I think it's likely you actually both feel insecure about different things and express that differently in a way that rubs you up against each other. Her up tightness and rigidity is likely to cover something else up, I bet she was a high achiever that's found herself 'mumming' and treating it like a full time job, reading all the latest blogs etc. You sound like you lack the ability to speak up for yourself until it reaches snapping point so have your own things going on. If you were happy with everything going on you would have responded with humour "Oh yes, this group of littles is like herding cats" rather than taking it personally. Or stood up for yourself and DD at the time rather than seething "Actually no, DD pronounces my name correctly, it's what my parents wanted".

I think it's worthy being open to the fact your DD might have a speech issue if other adults other than this one mum also find it hard to understand DD as they aren't uncommon. But if not and it's just her "No, no DD said that very clearly. Have you thought of having your hearing checked".

I'd say 'We never criticise DDs speech and pronunciation. All the research has shown that it's very unhelpful. I can dig out some articles if you want to learn more about more positive ways to engage with DC...'

How have you not told her to fuck off I will never know but be as rude back as she has been to you. When she says she does not understand what your dd is saying ask her has she always been hard of hearing or is it an age thing and when she puts down or picks at anything your dd does ask her why she is so insecure in her own parenting she needs to comment on yours.

Honestly she sounds like she needs a slap.

Head tilt

"Did you mean to be a massive bitch, again?"

Stare

She told you not to call your child stubborn, yet has also told your child off?

I actually did respond in humour.

Even today when she told a mum who wasn't even there that I was having fun with the little ones.

However, it just pisses me off, because it's one more thing, if that makes sense ?

I don't know if she's a high achiever. She doesn't really seem like it, seeing as she doesn't work and her financial situation isn't the best. Her words, not mine. I think our background, education, career and financials are very different from what she's explained.

My DD does not have a speech issue. Other people understand her just fine.

If she tries to tell off your DD again use the phrase “I didn’t realise you were (insert child’s name) parent” should shut her up!

anything to do with speech- “I can understand her perfectly” nothing further to say.

keep to everything factual/ nothing to argue with.

If she takes issue with your ds’s speech again, ask if she’s hard of hearing.

How can people be arsed with this playground nonsense.. you are all grown women.

If you don’t like what she says, pay no heed to it.. no need for any drama, just ignore it.

I must be too old for this shit. I would have already told her she’s a goady bitch and that her performance parenting is over the top and to fuck off. But I’m menopausal now and my filter is gone.