This school mum is really pissing me off now !!!

[bigca]

She's so judgemental I feel.

She came to my house for a play date with her child, before I really knew what she was like of course...

She pulled me up on a couple of things I said about my DD. I posted about it at the time. I think I said she can be a bit stubborn and she told me not to say it. A couple of other similar comments. She also went all out praising her child A LOT.

Anyway, I decided there and then that I will never have a play date again ( unless requested by my child of course ).

I continue to be polite, but she's really grating on me now. She's always saying she can't understand my DD.

Yesterday my DD said my name. She said ' my mummy's name is Amelia ' to which the lady was like: ' I thought your name is Emilia '. Or some minor BS. My DD says my name just fine, I responded and said ' it's Amelia ' just like she said. To which she said ' no she said Emilia. It sounded like Emilia '. ( names changed of course ). The long and short of it is that however my DD said it, is how my name is said, she was just being nit picky. She also told my DD off because my DD found a loud noise funny.

Then today she was again hanging around us and my DD said something else- to which the mum asked me again ' what did she say ? ' she keeps not being able to understand my child and it's pissing me off. My DD wasn't even talking to her.

We went on a school trip the other day and she was also there. She just kept picking up on small things and making fun of me not being able to look after my group. I had the youngest kids in my group and sometimes I had to herd them along a bit. She had fewer children in her group and thought she was nailing it compared to me, of course.

I get the feeling she judges my DD all the time now, especially because she keeps saying she doesn't understand what she's saying.

Anyway, she really pisses me off now and I keep having to see her around. I don't know how I'm going to shut her up. But I'm afraid one day I am just going to snap and be quite direct with her.

In my head it will go something like : ' sorry, do you realise how terribly judgemental you come across ? ' ' you're constantly making nasty comments about my parenting and also judging my child. Can you just back off ? '

I hope they're not in the same class next year. They're both only 4 and start reception in September.

WAIT!!! wait! .why are you so invested in knowing WHAT she s thinking etc? why?

Unless my child was best buddies with her child I would definitely be giving her the cold shoulder

For example:

Free this weekend for a play date? Nope busy.

Want to take kids out? Nope sorry got things going on. *tight smile

I can't understand your daughter? *stay silent with an expression that shows you're fkn pissed off.

She'll get the message.

In my experience answering this type back just results them in playing the victim so I would just distance myself because I can't be arsed with the pathetic behaviour that follows them being called out.

Years ago I had a friend I walked to pre school with - it was about a mile and involved a really horrible point with no pavement and no visibility.

We used to take buggies even when the kids were 3, usually with a scooter as well. It was just easier especially after a tiring morning at pre school to put them in the buggy, or to get then strapped in around the dodgy corner with cars flying round it rather than just holding hands.

Anyway, her husband started driving her kid to pre school on his way to work some days.

One day he strolled up to us waiting to go in and said directly to my 3 year old "look at you, lazy, in your buggy". I replied "unlike your kid she doesn't get driven to school, so her legs get a little more tired than his."

He just stood there mouth flapping. It's not like I was rude I just answered him back.

The following morning he came over, PICKED UP MY HAND AND LOOKED AT MY NAILS and said "oh, just checking to see if you've still got your claws out this morning."

From that absolute twat that started taking potshots at a 3 year old in a buggy.

Ultimately, if she's happy being that much of a cow now she'll love the opportunity to be more of a cow when you answer her back.

I'd just avoid her.

Just ask her what she said every time she speaks and when she repeats herself just say oh I thought you said ... she will soon fuck off.

You can ask for them not to be in the same class. You might not get it but you can ask

This.

She's jealous of your much bigger house and feels insecure about her house/finances/lifestyle compared to yours. Happy, secure people don't care what size your house is - regardless of the size of theirs.

She's taking it out on you with this playground behaviour.

With toxic people: if you don't engage, you win. I would simply behave as if she didn't exist. Take no notice of her or anything she says and do not speak to her. Just say "sorry, must dash", "can't stop sorry" if you bump into her.

And literally ignore her stupid comments. Like she has never spoken. Remove your DD immediately if she starts up. Just take DD and walk away. Do. Not. Engage. She will soon lose interest if you don't give her any of your oxygen.

And enjoy your lovely DD and your lovely home and your peaceful life without this woman in it.

I knew a woman exactly like that. It was the most bizarre thing. She proper bullied me in an effort to be queen bee. It was very upsetting and confusing til I figured out what it was, and then it was actually just funny.

She eventually took her child and fucked off to another school, cos suddenly our school wasn't good enough (once everyone saw how crazy she was and gave a wide berth).

Ok, sounds like she is jealous then. So it is her trying to compensate by making out she is better than you.

She sounds like a nightmare. To be honest lm dreading the whole primary school phase with mums like this

Why are you afraid of clapping back. People like her need you to be direct. If she can dole it out she can take it back.

Everyone commenting on the house thing..

I've just been talking to my husband about it and he's now berating me for ever having invited her over and saying that's why I shouldn't invite people over to our place.

He says it's 100 percent because she's jealous and now talking it out on our DD and it's all my fault for inviting her to the house.

She really seemed lovely and I spoke to her a lot before inviting her over. He's now going to make it even harder for me to have DD's friends over.

He already wasn't happy that I invited her that time and I invited another mum another time, as my DD really wanted to have a play date.

This just sucks. Wish I never told him ! He's loving this now, to prove his point that I'm not careful enough and too open with people and apparently I can't pick the right people.

Do your best to avoid her! If (/when)she does this kind of thing again ignore her comment, and respond by asking her if she’s okay. If she’s conscious of what she’s doing, she’ll feel uncomfortable and realise you don’t think what she’s doing is alright, and if she isn’t, at least you’ll distract her!

Oh she’s a witch. Avoid like the plague xx

He sounds like a twat but you seem obsessed just move on you are not forced to have anything to do with her

You sound as if you will take offence at everything. Sorry, she maybe doesn't even mean to be annoying you. It doesn't sound that bad.

I think you just have to be blunt with her and you 100% need to put down a very firm boundary about her claiming not to understand your DD right in front of her. How rude! I would be tempted to say "Can you not say that in front of my DD, because while you may be hard of hearing, I don't think she is, and I don't want her undermined like that." She sounds an absolute nightmare. She is the sort of person who raises herself up in her own mind by bringing others down. It is the sort of thing that you can sort of brush off/ laugh at to a degree but it also gets very very wearing.

Oh god, well this has taken a turn. Of course you're not to blame for having her to the house, and of course it OK, and NORMAL, to have play dates to the house. Is this normal behaviour from him?

Well, I have no words OP, whilst it is probably better to meet In a neutral setting, he's an idiot rubbing it in like this. This mother is a jealous playground bully, having a nice house isn't something you should have to hide and why has your husband got issues with other kids parents coming over anyway?

BTW he shouldn't be putting the blame on you at all. If my husband did this I would hit the roof, I'd go mad at him I really would, It's not on.

Oh and it's your house to, I wouldn't care less what he said and invite them anyway. I don't tell my husband who he can bring in and I wouldn't accept it from him either.

This.

Bloomin' heck, don't let it stop you inviting people over though! You got unlucky with this lady. There will be plenty of lovely people out there too.

Why not just say something- ask her what the hell her problem is

@Mummy2024 I'm really annoyed.

It's so condescending and disrespectful. Like I'm too dumb and naive to be able to pick the right people.

There's another couple of mums I like and my DD is friends with their DDs and he's said they can't come over, as the same thing will happen apparently.

What’s your house like? For your husband to say that I’m assuming a big detached 5 bed in the countryside or something?!

As I say, tell him that not everyone is jealous of people with nice houses! Some even have nice houses also!

It's your house aswell and your DD's, cutting off her play dates because of one bad person is punishing her not the mum, you should tell him that.

He's said... they can't come over?

That's not normal or ok

Yeah but he didn't want them over before this happened the question is why... this is just a now convenient reason.

I find it really odd, was here there when they came and he had to play host so to speak?