Are weddings actually seriously uncool? Naff as anything?

[comoatoupeira]

Light-hearted! This is about taste and fashion and society, not about the institution of marriage or the spirituality of the wedding ceremony.

Just reading the thread about the bridezilla who wants her sister to change her haircolour to be her bridesmaid, just the ultimate in deranged and self centered behaviour.

I've been having these twinge thoughts in the back of my mind for a while now, and I'm finally putting it out there: are weddings "over", meaning that they are actually naff and bad taste now?

What I mean is the classic wedding: overdone and over-achieving bride, matching bridesmaids in pastel satin, expensive everything. Men in expensive tailoring but who manage to not look elegant?

I think elopement and queer (in the academic sense) ways of getting married are in? Or just quietly in the registry office and then a party?

Taste arbiters, tell me your thoughts!

I am glad you had a great day, and am on record upthread saying I think people should suit themselves.

You weren’t faced with the dilemma of choosing between the expensive wedding you wanted and a house, however. Paying down the mortgage early is different to getting on the property ladder in the first place

I've been to a fair share of weddings where the bride has dictated everything even down to what nail colour the guests can have, always found them to be kind of tacky & awkward, at my own wedding I told the guests they could wear whatever they wanted, whatever colour they wanted & to just enjoy it, far less stressful for all involved

I don't like weddings and I don't pretend to; I've been to six as an adult and managed to avoid the rest.

But I find the carefully-constrived 'we're all just going to wear grubby jeans and then go to the pub for bacon sandwiches because we're so down to earth' ones far more tedious than the glitterbomb/horsedrawn carriage/firework display ones. At least those give you something to look at.

Mostly they are terrible. Long, boring, awful food, loud music, horribly expensive. A small wedding can be nice though.

They really are the ultimate ‘look at me’ event. Apart from maybe funerals, but the person at the centre of those tends not to have left their guests bored and starving while they have endless photos taken.

I think it’s mad to spend what could be a house deposit on a party. Small laid back weddings are also really romantic imo.

I have never been to a wedding dictated by the couple of what I can wear etc but I could see that being uncomfortable for guests.

I have rejected invites for weddings as cannot find pretty shoes suitable for my feet - flat, wide toes, weak ankles. Plus comfortable and not stupidly expensive.

They just all look the bloody same now.

bell tents, rustic wood, stunning brides, same colours and themes. Boxes of flip flops. All just the same as any other on Instagram.

My favourite weddings have been those with a real personal touch. Each to their own although we got a lot of grief for travelling abroad to get married by ourselves with lots of mock sad faces on our return - even now twenty years later people ask me if I regret it (not for a second, I loved it).

They’re naff as fuck. we couldn’t be arsed with the pantomime and eloped. Everybody was pissed off for about five minutes then got over themselves.

I found the idea of dropping 30k for one day really unappealing. It genuinely feels borderline like a scam. For what? A mildly enjoyable experience for people I don’t really care about.

I got married last year - registry office and then a nice restaurant after with immediate family.

The money we saved went on a 6 week honeymoon around the world. Spent around £35k. But we did enjoy some very luxurious hotels and expensive destinations (Japan, Singapore Grand Prix etc).

And DH and I are decently well off (combined salary of £170k). The amount people on low salaries will spend is crazy to me.

That honeymoon sounds bloody amazing!

I agree spend the bulk on the honeymoon as opposed to the ceremony.

My wedding reception 40 yrs ago, was in our rented 2 bed flat in Lee Green.
At Lewisham register office. The whole wedding cost max £300.My Mum tried to pawn her charm bracelet to help with the finances.
My step dad, wanted to take me to the register office in a Van, which i declined.
We used my aunts gift of £80.00 to hire a car! It gets worse,my husband and i slept on the floor,while my Mum & stepdad slept in our bed. My Step dad videoed the whole thing, which we never got to view, probably for the best! My Flat smelt of Tom cat's as my mum purchased an insane amount of melons,left out overnight in our kitchen.When we got up the next morning my Mum Stepdad collected all the drink/ left overs & took them home! I have to agree i dislike going to fancy Weddings, its not me! Apart from the fact that we end up usually spending £600+. The most memorable weddings have been done on the cheap but very merry!

Oh God, this thread is stressing me out. I'm getting married this year and actually kind of dreading it. We're doing registry office and using an events space our friend owns so not posh - but there are so many people coming. I really wanted to elope but DH (to be) wanted to have a proper wedding with family and friends.

I feel really worried about being the centre of attention and also, weirdly, about people judging me for my choices of wedding day which - as this thread proves - everyone seems to have an opinion on.

I never thought I'd get married. I've been with OH 15 years and I just hope to have a nice day that isn't too overwhelming and where our guests will have a good time.

Epic! 😄

And makes for a memorable story!

Don’t you worry - plan and enjoy your day exactly as you wish, the people who care about you will just want you to be happy and be pleased to be part of that. As much as weddings have trends, these sort of threads become an echo chamber of everyone trying to be the coolest/least interested/most bored etc. Have a wonderful day.

For some, maybe. We’re getting married next month - for weeks now both sides of the family have been saying how excited they are to see extended family for the first big party since covid. My mum commented how nice it will be to see my school friends again. My dad is excited to have a few drinks with my father in law. I live a few hours from my parents so even the prep has given me a reason to be home more frequently. Our friends are telling us they’re excited for a night away and chance to dress up / let their hair down. MIL came dress shopping with me as she’s not done that since she got married.

It’s not just about “me” or my husband it’s about two families getting together & having (I hope) a good time. If we had done what we wanted and not cared about our families we’d have gone abroad and done it there.

As a PP said, don't stress. Most people love a wedding. I went to one recently which was very simple. The bride and groom had asked that people try and buy secondhand rather than new clothes if they felt they needed anything different to wear. The bride's dress and all the bridesmaids' dresses came off eBay, friends chipped in to do some of the catering and generally help out, the couple's friends did the music for the service. It was lovely.

@garlictwist there's some people on here who seem to think that anything other than getting married in a registry office, with a couple of witnesses and having a chippy tea afterwards is completely ridiculous - and that you shouldn't expect people to want to celebrate your wedding!

I love a wedding and am delighted to be asked to one - I'm old now so don't get so many invitations. It's a joyous occasion or at least a chance to dress up and have a bop. I think it's a nice thing to celebrate with your friends if you want to!