To feel so Monday happy when DP goes to work

[FredFerrous]

DP just winds me up all weekend. Started this weekend on Sat morning when I just wanted some quick clarification over my salary. He ended up going off on a tangent, and just talking for ages and ages about new legislation over holiday pay.

Then - he never knows what’s going on/where we need to be/or at what time.

Sport goes on the television, minimal interaction with he children despite the fact he’s hardly seen them all week.

No housework done unless asked - however he does cook (usually something complicated requiring every utensil we own).

He uses the term ‘fresh socks’. I cringe every time he says it. Why not say clean socks??

I try to be in a room he’s not in or escape upstairs - but he starts following me about.

He wants me to hang the towel a particular way over the bathroom radiator (so the towel doesn’t potentially touch the door?? - (it doesn’t… )). Apparently this needs a 5 minute explanation. I tried to tune this out…

He’s just left for work and won’t be home til 9pm. Hurrah.

The obvious question is, why are you with this Prince of Charm and Caring?

I couldn’t live like this.

Why are you together? You clearly don’t like him.

Can you ask him to leave?

What's the point of him?

For someone who does no housework he's remarkably interested in having a towel not touching a door.

Hah. Yeah.

Pretty much the same here - even though mine talks about much simpler things. I wish he knew things like the new legislation over holiday pay.

Happy Monday 💐

Has he always been like this? What attracted you to him in the first place, that you chose him as your life partner and father of your children?

Watch out OP, you'll get loads of posters telling you to leave him, like it's really that simple.

Splitting a family up is complicated and expensive.

I empathise though, my husband sounds similar to yours and only goes into the office once or twice a month but I so look forward to those days!

Before children, I saw more good qualities. I also didn’t realise how little he’d do in terms of housework/mental load/caring for the children.

We have financial security.

I have peace during the week.

I can cope with 2 days of annoyance. Just.

Spending every weekend trying to avoid the person you share your life with and counting down the hours till they’re at work so you don’t have to spend even a second with them sounds more complicated than splitting a family, but sure.

Quite. I’m sure the children aren’t picking up on any of this either.

Can I just ask about the term ‘fresh socks’ - am I being unreasonable to go inwardly nuts every time I hear it???

100%

Must be a horrible home atmosphere for the kids!

Sorry, but you don’t sound like a great partner either. Maybe the two of you are better a part.

OP I don't mean this in a horrible way but the problem is probably slightly you as well.
I know my DH annoys me more when I'm not particularly happy myself. I will find things to feel irritated over almost to justify my bad mood, iyswim?

I'm going through this a bit at the no. I'd say I'm feeling pissed off with the kids, my jobs a bit crap and I'm fed up of a lack of quality time with DH. We used to laugh and be silly together but right now we have no time for this. So I guess he irritates me instead!

Do you work with/'for' him re the salary question? But a def mn trope you don't seem to like him and if it wasn't for the financial security would you be with him?

That's all a mn trope called 'the ick' I believe!

Good god, sounds like you’re completely incompatible he’s really annoying. Don’t you think you might be happier living without him, or with someone, you know, you actually like?

(All of this mansplaining and bossing about does show an inherent lack of respect).

What the F are you going to do when he retires?

In the meantime how about a hobby that takes up at least half a day of the weekend (walking club? volunteering?). Ideally the day with all the kids activities so he doesn’t have a choice to zone out.

If he said "clean socks" you would doubtless find something else to be scornful about.

Contempt is supposedly the end state of a relationship and you should consider whether you really want to stay in this one as you may both be happier out of it.

Have you talked to him about the housework imbalance?

You could do a little test - each person writes down five things that annoys them about the other person.

Maybe he goes to work relieved the weekend’s over too? Who knows. Doesn’t sound idyllic though.

The term doesn’t bother me. My DH says ‘eat it up’ about the food in the fridge. I hate it. Makes me shiver inside for some reason. I’m sure I do the same about something from his perspective.

You’re not unreasonable if we can get him on here and listen to all the things you do that irritate him

in fact, I can see a few red flags already …

Irritated about him saying fresh socks rather than clean socks?
Actively going into different rooms to avoid him?
Poor bloke.

You don't sound much better than him but in different ways. You really both need to improve.

Sounds like you’ve both got the ick over each other and it’s over.

Sounds like you have the “ick”.
Very difficult to come back from that in my opinion.
fresh socks and towel folding would really grate on me. My DH uses the term “crisp white shirt”. I use the term “floppy dick”.

You're not married to him.
Can't you split and call it quits?